My friend called me and said he lost the million dollar prize because he couldn't think of a neighbor to Saudi Arabia...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
π︎ 160
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
When I won the grand prize at cemetery, I knew exactly what it was.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
He was out standing in his field.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
Did you hear about this yearβs Nobel prize nominees?
It included the inventor of βSilent Modeβ.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
What is the most coveted architectural prize awarded to churches with no steeple?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 25 2019
When my Dad gets drunk, he always tells stories about his prize chickens.
He sure loves his cock-tales.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
Who ever invented Knock-Knock jokes should get a Nobel Prize
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jun 25 2019
Why did the corn farmer win the Nobel Peace Prize?
For his dedication to world hominy
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
There should be a Pulitzer prize for headlines
π︎ 70
π
︎ Mar 02 2020
Honestly I would love this as a prize
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
What prize did the bodybuilder win when the lockdown was lifted
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 13 2020
What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
TIL The 2019 chemistry Nobel laureate was deemed good enough for a nobel prize
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 08 2020
Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
I used to illegally give weed to my prize winning cows, but unfortunately I had to stop.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
If being cool was an act of terrorism then I'd be winning the Nobel Peace prize
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
he got a nobyl prize
found out my friend was extremely radioactive
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 08 2019
Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should be given a no-bell prize
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jan 06 2019
When I win the nobel prize, this will be my speech:
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side; my hips, for never lying; my legs, for always supporting me; my fingers and toes, for I can always count on them
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 02 2019
My little prize
3 year old (runs up to me in her Sunday dress): Look dad I'm a princess. I'm Belle!
Me: you're the belle of the ball?
(Wife looks unimpressed, the joke is lost on the 3 year old)
3 year old: No, Belle!
Me: No, Belle? I guess you're a prize then!
(3 year old runs off to do three year old things, the wife groans hard)
π︎ 35
π
︎ Feb 10 2019
The person who invented knock knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
π︎ 118
π
︎ May 24 2019
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society contest...
So they gave me a posh trophy.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 17 2019
I submitted 10 of my dad jokes to a joke writing contest to see if maybe one of them would win a prize...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
My company raffle was giving away a sea mammal as a prize.
I didn't get the porpoise.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 11 2019
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Noble Prize?
He was (out)standing in his field
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Why did the Scarecrow get a Nobel Prize
Because he was Out-Standing in his field.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
π︎ 145
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
Why did the corn farmer win a Nobel Peace Prize?
Because of his dedication to world hominy.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
π︎ 229
π
︎ Sep 22 2019
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?
He was outstanding in his field
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
The inventor of knock knock jokes won a prize
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
You donβt have to be great to win a Nobel Prize.
You just have to be Goodenough!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 09 2019
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Nobel prize?
They said he was outstanding in his field
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
π︎ 993
π
︎ Dec 23 2017
Did you hear about the farmer that won a Nobel Prize?
He was out standing in his field.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Feb 19 2019
Did you hear? The knock knock joke won a prize.
They awarded it the No Bell prize.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
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