What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?

A trophy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TerroristOgre
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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When my Dad gets drunk, he always tells stories about his prize chickens.

He sure loves his cock-tales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
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My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a

Flying Saucer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
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Why did the corn farmer win the Nobel Peace Prize?

For his dedication to world hominy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12
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The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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What prize did the bodybuilder win when the lockdown was lifted

Atrophy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gambit454
πŸ“…︎ May 13
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There should be a Pulitzer prize for headlines
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πŸ‘€︎ u/______---------
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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Who ever invented Knock-Knock jokes should get a Nobel Prize
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/owen_mkn6244
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Honestly I would love this as a prize
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?

He was outstanding in his field

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerGirlUrine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?

A Dough-gree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ursppachulli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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TIL The 2019 chemistry Nobel laureate was deemed good enough for a nobel prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kyle0060
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacides
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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If being cool was an act of terrorism then I'd be winning the Nobel Peace prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crispybacon62
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I used to illegally give weed to my prize winning cows, but unfortunately I had to stop.

The steaks were too high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eltothebee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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You don’t have to be great to win a Nobel Prize.

You just have to be Goodenough!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rajuvrma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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The inventor of knock knock jokes won a prize

It was a nobel prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/janhetjoch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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he got a nobyl prize

found out my friend was extremely radioactive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mxrtinezz1322
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Nobel prize?

They said he was outstanding in his field

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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When I win the nobel prize, this will be my speech:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side; my hips, for never lying; my legs, for always supporting me; my fingers and toes, for I can always count on them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dray_son
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society contest...

So they gave me a posh trophy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlimRous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should be given a no-bell prize
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I submitted 10 of my dad jokes to a joke writing contest to see if maybe one of them would win a prize...

No pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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The person who invented knock knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_gilxn_
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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My little prize

3 year old (runs up to me in her Sunday dress): Look dad I'm a princess. I'm Belle!

Me: you're the belle of the ball?

(Wife looks unimpressed, the joke is lost on the 3 year old) 3 year old: No, Belle!

Me: No, Belle? I guess you're a prize then!

(3 year old runs off to do three year old things, the wife groans hard)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oyohval
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Did you hear about the farmer that won a Nobel Prize?

He was out standing in his field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RubinKhadka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Did you hear? The knock knock joke won a prize.

They awarded it the No Bell prize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JP0315
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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My company raffle was giving away a sea mammal as a prize.

I didn't get the porpoise.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Have you heard about the scarecrow who won a Nobelο»Ώ prize?

He was outstanding in his field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cruachan2017
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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I just won the World Attic Championship as I received my prize, I held my trophy a loft.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattasaurusrrex
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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Why did the scarecrow win the prize?

He was out standing in his field

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atollblaster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Why did the farmer win a Nobel Prize?

Because he stole it from the physicist he just brutally killed with a shovel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sthymia20
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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The person who invented the knocker probably got a no-bell prize.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakinBacon64
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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What prize will they give you if you start a mass extinction?

A Catas-trophy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hackerman79_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Gaston was the first winner of the No Belle prize

Buh dum tiss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakinBacon64
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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I bought a raffle ticket for a local fundraiser and won the Early Bird Prize.

It was a worm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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The inventor of the "knock knock" joke should receive a "No-Bell" prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZangeonS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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Noble prize

The person that invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FluidPaper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize
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πŸ‘€︎ u/125bench
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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Why did the cow win a Nobel prize?

He was outstanding in his field

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurlRackington
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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I entered a contest where the grand prize was a shopping center, but I lost

Guess you can't win the mall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mastersword83
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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Everybody deserves a Nobel Prize

As long as you don't own any bells, you deserve the Nobel prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/choonggg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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The local scarecrow recently got a Nobel prize

Because he was outstanding in his field!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_bearHead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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If a Vienamese human trafficking ring offers one of their captives as the prize of a contest..

is that a win Nguyen scenario?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Nobel Prize?

He was out-standing in his field.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
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Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

Because it was out standing in its field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FenixSword
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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I took my cat to a pet show and it won the prize for best booty

It was a catastrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myth-ran-dire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
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This farmer had a prize show bull.

This bull had won best in show awards. Groomed daily, perfect stance, it was a great bull.

One day the farmer goes out and sees the bull has gone cross-eyed. This was going to ruin ant chance of future awards, so he called the livestock vet out.

The veterinarian gets there and examines the bull, realizes he's seen this happen before and grabs a narrow metal tube from the back of his truck.

He brings the tube over and jams the tip of it into the bulls hind end and proceeds to blow as hard as he can through the end of it.

The farmer looks at the bulls eyes as the vet is blowing into the bulls backside and says "it's working! I see his eyes straightening right up, keep doing it!"

The vet blows and blows his face and cheeks turning red and finally says, "I'm out of breath I can't do it anymore, his eyes are almost straight you'll have to finish"

The farmer comes over and grabs the tube, pulls it out, turns it around and puts it back in the other way, the vet stops him and says, "What

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amd20555
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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When the former Chelsea goalkeeper wasn't sure of the prize money he received, what did he do?

Cech checked his Czech cheque

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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_a_theorist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2016
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I entered a dad joke competition for a $1000 prize, but I didn't win.

A grand dad joke won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notherereally
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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Dad! Our cat just won the prize for the 'best cat bum contest!'

Dad: That is a catastrophe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/originalgeorge
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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Did you hear about the scarecrow who got nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize?

He was out standing in his field

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2016
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Why can you call hoes Nobel Prize winners?

They keep getting knocked up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoapMyPotato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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A Disturbing Prize twxxd.com/?p=5253
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkey_Prime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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A got prize for not exercising for a week

A trophy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dretland
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
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Eyes on the prize

Last night my wife told me that we really need to start watching what we eat.

"I always watch what I eat. Otherwise most of it would end up on the floor."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redeyedesign
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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OPCW Won the Nobel Peace Prize

My first reaction was "Syriasly??"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puns4life
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2013
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Door Prizes

Me: Yeah i went to a holiday work party last night, they were giving out door prizes.

Dad: oh cool so you got a free door?

I didn't even repsond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swelch12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
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Is there a prize for the most laborious set-up?

Down on his farm, Old MacDonald was hosting his annual talent contest amongst his animals and announced that, this year, the theme was Shakespeare.

All of his livestock had been busily and excitedly rehearsing because they knew that 1st prize was to be a gigantic gazebo festooned with flashing electric lights, a glitter ball, a speaker system and turntables.

Competition was fierce; the chickens performed Othello, the horse chose Hamlet, the sheep Romeo and Juliet and the cow performed Richard III.

After much deliberation, the farmer and his wife ordered a hushed silence and announced: "Cow is the winner of our disco tent."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffGoldbuns
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy.

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Famousspy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn farmer win a Nobel Peace Prize?

Because of his dedication to world hominy.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy

πŸ‘︎ 991
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

For being outstanding in his field

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texas_OT
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

For being outstanding in his field

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badbatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that farmer who won the Nobel Prize?

He was out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blom144
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2011
🚨︎ report

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