My friend called me and said he lost the million dollar prize because he couldn't think of a neighbor to Saudi Arabia...

I said, "Oman!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".

I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.

The physical pain on his face was priceless.

πŸ‘︎ 160
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When I won the grand prize at cemetery, I knew exactly what it was.

It was a dead giveaway.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

He was out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrayLaTrash
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?

A trophy.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TerroristOgre
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Noble Prize?

He was (out)standing in his field

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Scarecrow get a Nobel Prize

Because he was Out-Standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about this year’s Nobel prize nominees?

It included the inventor of β€œSilent Mode”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElZoof
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most coveted architectural prize awarded to churches with no steeple?

The no-bell prize.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
When my Dad gets drunk, he always tells stories about his prize chickens.

He sure loves his cock-tales.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a

Flying Saucer

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Who ever invented Knock-Knock jokes should get a Nobel Prize
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/owen_mkn6244
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn farmer win the Nobel Peace Prize?

For his dedication to world hominy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
There should be a Pulitzer prize for headlines
πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/______---------
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Honestly I would love this as a prize
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What prize did the bodybuilder win when the lockdown was lifted

Atrophy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gambit454
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?

He was outstanding in his field

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerGirlUrine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?

A Dough-gree

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ursppachulli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL The 2019 chemistry Nobel laureate was deemed good enough for a nobel prize
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kyle0060
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacides
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to illegally give weed to my prize winning cows, but unfortunately I had to stop.

The steaks were too high

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eltothebee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If being cool was an act of terrorism then I'd be winning the Nobel Peace prize
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crispybacon62
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The inventor of knock knock jokes won a prize

It was a nobel prize

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/janhetjoch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
You don’t have to be great to win a Nobel Prize.

You just have to be Goodenough!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rajuvrma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
he got a nobyl prize

found out my friend was extremely radioactive

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mxrtinezz1322
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Nobel prize?

They said he was outstanding in his field

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should be given a no-bell prize
πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
When I win the nobel prize, this will be my speech:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side; my hips, for never lying; my legs, for always supporting me; my fingers and toes, for I can always count on them

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dray_son
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My little prize

3 year old (runs up to me in her Sunday dress): Look dad I'm a princess. I'm Belle!

Me: you're the belle of the ball?

(Wife looks unimpressed, the joke is lost on the 3 year old) 3 year old: No, Belle!

Me: No, Belle? I guess you're a prize then!

(3 year old runs off to do three year old things, the wife groans hard)

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oyohval
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer that won a Nobel Prize?

He was out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The person who invented knock knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_gilxn_
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RubinKhadka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society contest...

So they gave me a posh trophy.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KlimRous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I submitted 10 of my dad jokes to a joke writing contest to see if maybe one of them would win a prize...

No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear? The knock knock joke won a prize.

They awarded it the No Bell prize.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JP0315
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My company raffle was giving away a sea mammal as a prize.

I didn't get the porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy.

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Famousspy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the corn farmer win a Nobel Peace Prize?

Because of his dedication to world hominy.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?

A trophy

πŸ‘︎ 993
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.