Why did the Indian yeast have low self esteem?

His whole life he’s been a naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim_breeding
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Coffee beans must have the lowest self-esteem...

They’re always getting roasted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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If God had low self esteem, would that make him an atheist?

Because he doesn’t believe in himself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sBroz410
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Her self esteem is like the root of minus one: imaginary
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icanpretendtoo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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Get some shelf esteem imgur.com/LFluLPR
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
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How do you know when your house has low self-esteem?

It settles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeontheJob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who broke up and had very low self-esteem ever since?

He had a rejectile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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I joined a cult that doesn't let us have high self esteem

I can't believe how good I feel

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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A friend has been going to a seminar on building self esteem

I never knew buildings thought so highly of themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Why did the lassoo have low self esteem?

It was bull lead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Why did the letter B with low self-esteem start eating a lot?

He saw the Buff A

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
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Hydrogen has a very low self esteem.

He always gets refused in the sun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoMoreDays
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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If jesus had low self-esteem....

Would it be considered blasphemy since he didn't believe in himself?

(Thanks Bloodhound Gang)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snpn2slmjim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2015
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My dad lowering my self esteem

I was at church with my father who is the pastor, so lots of people come up to him weekly. I went to go say hi to him after church, and an older lady by the name of Bertha comes up to us and introduces herself. After I tell her my name, she asks me if I play football. I shake my head and give her a puzzled look and she says, "oh well you have a strong looking body". Of course I get rather excited about this and say, "dad did you hear that, she thinks I play football?" He responds with, "son, we've been praying for Ms. Bertha's eyesight for a long time now"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullsonparade92
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Some Christmas Dad Jokes

Why are Santas reindeer generally drenched with water?

Because they are rain-deer.

Why did Santa have to visit the psychologist?

He had low elf esteem.

source

Why are Christmas trees so uncoordinated when it comes to sewing?

They always drop their needles.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a hungry mosquito?

Frostbite

​What did Adam say to Eve on the night before Christmas day?

It's Christmas Eve!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My friend doesn’t think puns are funny, so I told him my top ten to see if any could make him laugh.

No pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

Because he has low elf esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Why was the elf sad?

He had low elf-esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/123flip
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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Why was Santa's helper so sad?

He was suffering from low elf-esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/babblingbrooks1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Maybe the Best Dad Jokester Ever. R.I.P. John Witherspoon

On Oct. 29, 2019, the world lost a legend. Esteemed actor and comedian, John "Pops" Witherspoon, passed away at the age of 77. After making his acting debut on The Richard Pryor Show in 1977, Witherspoon starred in cultural classics like Good Times, House Party, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Bebe's Kids, Boomerang, Soul Plane, I Got the Hook-Up, The Wayans Bros, all three of the revered Friday movies and many more. https://4ormypeople.com/mood/2019/10/30/rip-john-pops-witherspoon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yadadameannn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I deci

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Why was Santa's helper depressed?

He had low elf-esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
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Why did Santa's helper go to the doctor?

He had low elf-esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stewie19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
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My teenage son is very short for his age and is built like a midget, and recently he's been very depressed about his height.

It didn't help matters when I suggested he talk to a therapist about his low elf-esteem.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Why did the cupboard have therapy?

It had low shelf-esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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My friend always bends down when he's grocery shopping.

He suffers from low shelf esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johngreenink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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What kind of train is β€œThe Little Engine that Could”?

A self esteem engine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwiftFoxRaps
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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Where do guys get their self esteam?

The sauna.

EDIT: esteem*

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Posting on Reddit is like dating in college.

Occasionally you get lucky, but most of the time it’s terrible for your self esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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My favourite chicken is called "Respect & Admiration Chicken".

I cook it in esteemer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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Why wasn't the judge confident?

Because of his law self esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickbyfate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

Because he has low elf esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

Because he has low elf esteem.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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