Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
He was out standing in his field.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
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︎ Jun 05 2020
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
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︎ Oct 06 2020
Did you hear about this yearβs Nobel prize nominees?
It included the inventor of βSilent Modeβ.
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︎ Oct 14 2020
What is the most coveted architectural prize awarded to churches with no steeple?
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︎ Aug 31 2020
When my Dad gets drunk, he always tells stories about his prize chickens.
He sure loves his cock-tales.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
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︎ Sep 25 2019
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Who ever invented Knock-Knock jokes should get a Nobel Prize
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︎ Jun 25 2019
Why did the corn farmer win the Nobel Peace Prize?
For his dedication to world hominy
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︎ Jul 12 2020
There should be a Pulitzer prize for headlines
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︎ Mar 02 2020
What prize did the bodybuilder win when the lockdown was lifted
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︎ May 13 2020
Honestly I would love this as a prize
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︎ Feb 24 2020
What was the prize the baker won for winning the bread contest?
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︎ Feb 02 2020
Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
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︎ Dec 30 2019
I used to illegally give weed to my prize winning cows, but unfortunately I had to stop.
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︎ Aug 17 2019
If being cool was an act of terrorism then I'd be winning the Nobel Peace prize
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︎ Oct 11 2019
he got a nobyl prize
found out my friend was extremely radioactive
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︎ Sep 08 2019
Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should be given a no-bell prize
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︎ Jan 06 2019
When I win the nobel prize, this will be my speech:
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side; my hips, for never lying; my legs, for always supporting me; my fingers and toes, for I can always count on them
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︎ Jul 02 2019
My little prize
3 year old (runs up to me in her Sunday dress): Look dad I'm a princess. I'm Belle!
Me: you're the belle of the ball?
(Wife looks unimpressed, the joke is lost on the 3 year old)
3 year old: No, Belle!
Me: No, Belle? I guess you're a prize then!
(3 year old runs off to do three year old things, the wife groans hard)
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︎ Feb 10 2019
The person who invented knock knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
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︎ May 24 2019
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
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︎ Mar 17 2019
I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society contest...
So they gave me a posh trophy.
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︎ Sep 17 2019
I submitted 10 of my dad jokes to a joke writing contest to see if maybe one of them would win a prize...
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︎ Aug 18 2019
My company raffle was giving away a sea mammal as a prize.
I didn't get the porpoise.
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︎ Jun 11 2019
The inventor of the "knock knock" joke should receive a "No-Bell" prize
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︎ Nov 26 2014
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Noble Prize?
He was (out)standing in his field
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Why did the Scarecrow get a Nobel Prize
Because he was Out-Standing in his field.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
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︎ Jun 02 2020
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
Why did the corn farmer win a Nobel Peace Prize?
Because of his dedication to world hominy.
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︎ Mar 10 2020
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?
He was outstanding in his field
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︎ Jan 07 2020
The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.
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︎ Sep 22 2019
The inventor of knock knock jokes won a prize
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︎ Aug 19 2019
You donβt have to be great to win a Nobel Prize.
You just have to be Goodenough!
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︎ Oct 09 2019
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a Nobel prize?
They said he was outstanding in his field
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︎ Nov 18 2019
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
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︎ Dec 23 2017
Did you hear about the farmer that won a Nobel Prize?
He was out standing in his field.
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︎ Feb 19 2019
Did you hear? The knock knock joke won a prize.
They awarded it the No Bell prize.
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︎ Jun 19 2019
Why did the scarecrow win the prize?
He was out standing in his field
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︎ Apr 05 2019
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