Quality pun found in almost every sink across America
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonofthesolstice
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Well I was doing speedy shopping, until I stopped and had hat to break to see this. Quality puns at the mall.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/satire_scull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
Never too old for a quality pun.
πŸ‘︎ 889
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πŸ‘€︎ u/armedmissionary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend went to Vietnam a while back, she could receive texts but not send them so I saw this as a perfect opportunity to send her some quality puns
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siliconmac
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Our local pet store provides quality puns.
πŸ‘︎ 331
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconPancake84
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Trashcanpaul putting out quality pun memes
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alyfish126
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
[Request] Need dad-quality puns!

Hello fathers and fellow lovers of dadjokes! I am in need of your collective wit. You see, my friends did not get the hint that it was a bad idea to do this last time, and yet have foolishly asked me to house sit for them again. I've decided to prank them again (because I'm a wonderful friend), and this time I am turning their house into a house of puns. I need puns I can practically make. Here are a couple examples:

"While you guys were out I think your milk went bad..." draw on milk carton a bandanna, scruff, and a gun tucked into its logo

Move any of their jars in front of their bedroom door.

A map starting from their router.

Things like that. They have a pool, two labs, but otherwise have a pretty standard living arrangement. However, I don't want to mess with their computers as their occupations have some sensitive materials on them.

I struggled with what sub to reach out too with this post, so thank you all who reddit. You're fantastic folk, the lot of you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ser_Capelli
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Blue Ray quality.
πŸ‘︎ 404
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFriman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
Truely of the finest quality
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgentAqua7897
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
A quality joke...

This is not.

- Yoda

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard

But no pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harambememes69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Quality Shirt
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mysticTopaz4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?

Knockmaninoff

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLeakestWink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
What is the best quality to use when photographing forks?

4K

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Killcams
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
how do you know poor quality paper?

It's tearable.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Charles Darwin always chooses the purple choc from the quality street tin.

It's a natural selection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I just want to talk about the absolute perfect quality of material here in r/dadjokes!

Not once has anyone laughed at one of these jokes when I have told them. Way to keep the spirit of dadjokes alive by putting groans before laughter!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/designatedjohnny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Quality
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mosessea_doesit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Low quality
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrefyHun
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The mayor of Cowville hosted a citywide celebration of their milk. At the opening ceremony the mayor stood proudly above a pool of milk to show the exceptional quality. Unfortunately as he left the stage he fell into the pool of milk. The townsmen quickly rescued him and asked if he was okay:

"Yes", he said, "I'm all-white".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snaaaaaaaaaake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Quality Content
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deb_Eternity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A high quality dad joke reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GT56-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Is it too soon for low quality meme puns?
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IshaqN94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Quality advertising
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsmehereiam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Saw it and thought it was in need of a subtitle. Sorry for the low quality
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prh_takala
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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What do you call a building that makes average quality miniatures of depressed letters?

A "Sad S Factory".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_Jingle_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a magician who can fold even the highest-quality guitars in half.

He's known as "the Fender bender".

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a high quality meat storage device?

A solid steak drive

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-litl-snek-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I just saw Bumblebee yesterday and I have to say, the difference in quality from it to the previous Transformers movies is Knight and Bay.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swagy_swagerson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The quality of puns has taken a real dive recently but wait until you sea mine
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fair_SOTS
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Downloaded a pirated copy of the Bohemian Rhapsody. Quality is really bad though. Low res. Dark. Blurry.

I see a little silhouetto of a man.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caughtBoom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/96retsamtlas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Low quality OC (again)
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragkire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
There once was a farm, famed for the high quality of product from the award winning cows, many spoke of it in hushed, respectful tones, but none could say where it was, and many claimed, but none could prove that they had been there.

It was legendairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Mark has several qualities that make him an ideal candidate for cloning.

He’s remarkable.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notyou61
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Quality testing mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vysken
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
🚨︎ report
My professor (who is, indeed, a dad) told me this this QUALITY joke.

A man in Australia took a train to the town of Mercy, where he heard there was a coffee shop that served drinks named after Australian animals. When he arrived, he decided to try the Koala Tea. He received his order quickly, which turned out to basically be a cup of hot water filled with whole eucalyptus leaves.

The man asked the barista, "Excuse me, there seems to be a lot of loose leaves in my tea."

The barista replied, "Yes, sir, the Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exceedinglyhappy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Top Quality Con-Tent
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StartSmalls
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a good quality for a kindergarten teacher to have?

They can make little things count.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatisfreewill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The quality of this sub has gotten worse.

I mean, the veggies on it are starting to turn different colors and the bread has gotten stale. How can anyone eat this sub?

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Abadah
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
🚨︎ report
I've invented a machine that accurately measures the quality of a dadjoke...

I call it a sighsmograph.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/c_vilela
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a high quality pickle?

Dilluxe!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Speciesunkn0wn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a department of United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Some quality Christmas dad jokes.

Q: Why did the mechanic sleep under the car? A: He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

Q: What kind of cough medicine does Dracula take? A: Coffin medicine.

Q: What animals need oiling? A: Mice, because they squeak.

Q: How does Jack Frost get to work? A: By icicles.

Q: What do hedgehogs have for lunch? A: Prickled onions.

Q: What lies in a pram and wobbles? A: A jelly-baby.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/14andy4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL Thyme has powerful medical qualities

Some say it heals all wounds

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fish117
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.....

They're all so pixielated.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drondol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Shitty quality fort a shitty man
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l_osservatore
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Raisin The Quality Of The Puns On This Subreddit
πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Am_Navi_Seel_Mann
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I bought a very high quality one-way elevator.

It has never let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I make quality jokes
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zacharyangrk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
what do you call a cat that strives for high quality work?

A purrrrrfectionist.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurmen32
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Some quality signage right there
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperFrosting
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
🚨︎ report
John Wayne has a low quality toilet paper made branded with his name

It don't take shit from nobody

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mattmilli1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
The quality of puns in this sub have really gone down the drain... just let that sink in.
πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cesoir
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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I just learned what the prime quality of Soviet snipers was...

...turns out it was marxmanship.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vivaldibot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
The quality of this tissue paper---

---is tearable.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Polarase
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you buy your dog a higher quality dog food?

A pawsitive feedbark

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wowdoge69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Have yet to see a quality post here
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iCy619
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
🚨︎ report
When it comes to good quality olive oil, I feel sorry for green olives...

They must be under a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tirbert
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I wanted to tell you some quality jokes about a dull pair of scissors.

But, none of them make the cut.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Statistical analysis shows that quality of life among dwarves is very poor:

6 out of 7 are not happy.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Walter White started cooking for Germany, but the quality of his product took a nosedive.

Now he's known as Scheissenberg.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenoraiser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2016
🚨︎ report
A Puntitled Framework for Evaluating the Quality of Puns slifty.com/2016/03/a-punt…
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slifty
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
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I only like low quality audio..

So what? Stop giving me flac.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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Bought some low-quality toilet paper to save money...

...but it makes my hand feel kinda shitty.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ballroomaddict
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2015
🚨︎ report
I bet the Department of Defense gives the low-quality rations to submarines.

After all, they're sub-optimal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-kant_even
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Complaing to my wife about the quality of our current batch of oolong tea:

She responds with "oh, I know why it's not as good! We bought oo-short tea!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
🚨︎ report
I can only apologise for the quality of this joke.... richardtingley.co.uk/post…
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loudmouthman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Thought this belongs here (sorry for image quality)
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GasStationBacon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report
This pun was irresisTEAble (Apologies for quality) imgur.com/9elPpKl
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinghfb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Batman only looks for one quality in a woman.

Just ass.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNicholasRage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoke snapchats happen too! (sorry for bad quality)
πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAvocado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Quality dadjoke from the video game Undertale

http://imgur.com/WUKGpGu

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WrexEverything
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
🚨︎ report
Embarrassed myself in class laughing at my friend's reaction to my top quality material

So today in my physiology lecture we were talking about muscles and we touched on connective tissue and our prof said something about "broad bands of connective tissue" and I turned to my friend next to me and go "If there's broad bands of connective tissue do you think there's Wi-Fi of connective tissue?". He just sighed and told me he was going to punch me before going back to writing his notes with a look of pure hatred on his face.

(I tried to contain my laughter to his reaction and ended up snorting really loudly like a minute later when I heard him snicker)

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bca231
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Quality joke my dad told me

Two peanuts were walking through the park

One of them was a salted

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Officialkhg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
🚨︎ report
Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
🚨︎ report
They said the quality of my puns was beginning to plateau. I'm really proud though...

Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanuuu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
🚨︎ report
The trick to a good standup comedy act is to bring high quality fruit punch.

That way there's a punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trayus9
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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How would you describe what quality of plastic fork would be needed to eat a particular food without bending?

That would be its utensil strength.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFurrypants
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Two electricians I was talking to were arguing over the quality of the duct sealing work in a panel...

"that right there is the duct seal" "that ain't no duct seal" "look here! Ain't no ducks gettin through that there seal!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthyMcnasty87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Some examples of high quality posts for /r/DadJokes to admire.

http://i.imgur.com/KaoaXcU.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ranzear
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
🚨︎ report
Ask Reddit has given us some quality material.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NDLPT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Quality stuff from my dad today

My mum turned to him and asked "how did you find your meal"

Without hesitation he replies

"oh it was in front of me when I sat down"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_edref
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
🚨︎ report
A good quality for all restaurants to have.

Heard this in one of my GA Tech OMS CS lectures. (Michael isn't my Dad, but he is definitely a Dad.) The professors were discussing criteria for determining whether or not to enter a restaurant.

Michael: How about whether it smells good?
Charles: Yea I like cleanliness. Or you know what, let's be nice to our eateries. Let's say atmosphere.
Michael: Mmm, right, because if there's no atmosphere, it's going to be really hard to breath.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/merckens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Physics prof + dadjoke = high-quality nerd factor (okay not the daddest of dadjokes, but not the baddest either)

Back in my classical mechanics class, we always used p to denote momentum, and q to denote position. Halfway through a lecture full of brain farts where everyone was accidentally saying and writing "p" when we meant "q" and vice versa, our prof said, "You gotta keep your p's and q's straight! Physicists know what it really means to mind your p's and q's." <<chuckles to himself>>

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2013
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Adam @ Home had some quality dad jokes in today's paper

http://imgur.com/ow69Yp0

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poli360
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
🚨︎ report
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.

But no pun in ten did

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HAL9000000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2017
🚨︎ report

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