My wife tells me not to listen to the voices that bring me down and make me feel worthless.

She also complains that I never listen to her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodHippo9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?

Because it's all bark and no byte.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GameOnTheWay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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So apparently there's now a mutated virus specifically targeting people who have worthless, aggressive, mixed breed dogs.

The cur owner virus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AarGee1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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At first I thought everything this mangle said was a worthless lie

but it really wrings true

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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Critic

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
β€œWould you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?”
β€œSure.”
β€œIt's pretty much worthless.”
β€œI don't mind, you can tell me anyway.”

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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A moth flew in to a physiotherapists

The physio: what is wrong?

The moth: I feel so depressed, worthless, useless to society, and I really need help.

The physio: This is a Physiotherapists, I deal with physical issues, you need to go to a Psychologist, a shrink. Why did you come in here?

The Moth: "The light was on"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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Hey dad, can you wind this cord up for me?

Dad: stupid, worthless good-for-nothing cord should be ashamed of yourself

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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Help me start my car!

https://imgur.com/aAYvD3O

I've tried telling it that I don't love it, that it's worthless, that it was a mistake... but it still won't start!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grunlog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2016
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