If you don't use a bidet...

You're doing a half-assed job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
How do Australian Bidets greet each other?

B'idet mate!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevixdark
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet

I’ve been having a blast

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vtrellik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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It wasn’t my idea to get bidet

but now I kinda like the little squirt.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtp_5000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad just got a bidet and said he’s calling it The Enterprise

because it goes around Uranus killing Klingons

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsnotnotme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Politics is like using a bidet.

If you’re too much to the left or to much to the right, it’s sh*tty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matcorn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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My bidet is a temple
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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My Dad said, β€œl’ll never use a bidet...

... seems like a half-assed shower.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRipley1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Only assholes use bidets
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eschybach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Daffy Duck went to Porky Pig’s house. When he arrived he used the bathroom, but there wasn’t any toilet paper. Daffy yelled for Porky and Porky replied:

Bidet bidet bidet, that’s all folks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Why aren't Australians hoarding toilet paper?

Bidet, mate!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katskratched
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ

It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you have at home

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Australian say to the toilet?

Bidet mate.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dancunn
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Bum deal...

I bought my bidet on sale!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reclaim2020dotcom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mau230404
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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My toilet just turned one today.

It was her bidet.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juniorpoison
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.

They currently have nothing to go on.

πŸ‘︎ 464
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youessbee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
🚨︎ report
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?

When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If you spend all day in a well.....

.....well that's a day well spent.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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A plumber comes home

very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justjoshingyou
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?

A bidet.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CibrecaNA
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
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How do Australians clean up after a poop?

Bidet, mate!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.

But, I got out bidet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
🚨︎ report
My Dad got me earlier today.

So we were watching Grand Designs and talking about houses and such and the show was telling us about the bathroom.

Me: Oh look they're gonna put in a bidet.

Dad: I don't know why people put them in.

Me: Ah come on! You haven't lived until you've used one of them.

Dad: Yeah, that'll be bidet.

cue groans of despair

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ifeckinglovetea
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
🚨︎ report
How does an Australian greet his toilet?

Bidet mate!

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neutral_cadence
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
🚨︎ report

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