Bidet Shower Puns

In the title essentially! Sorry to post strange questions every now and then, I’m just anxious and I know everyone here can relate. Basically, sometimes when I use my shower head (in lieu of dry toilet paper) on occasion I’ll just get a weird…sensitive feeling? In the anal/rectal area. I know it’s not fissure related as the skin doesn’t sting with the shower head and the BM itself doesn’t hurt. It begins a few minutes after the shower, it was not uncomfortable at all during the BM itself (and importantly; no bleeding or swelling or pain). It feels like the area is sensitive for maybe a few mins or so. Is that maybe just something that I’m hyper fixated on as a fissure sufferer, and maybe just shower head water coming into contact with some of the many nerve endings in the area? Like it went away prett my quickly, I feel fine now, and it didn’t hurt one bit to put on my nifedipine ointment

Edit: advice that I was given by my surgeon that I should follow myself, but may help others! - “Don’t go chasing fleeting sensations. If it sticks around (I.e, more than 15-30 minutes), doesn’t get better or bothers you past living your normal life, then be concerned. But if it’s fleeting - no point in worrying. Nerves can fire off out of nowhere sometimes.”

I always wipe myself clean and then crouch down in the shower. I put the shower head beneath me and aim it upwards. I’ll put some soap on my hands and rub it in with the water in order to stay clean.

Even if my toilet had a normal bidet, I would still be doing it this way. It is just so much more controllable with a shower head and you can get so much cleaner since you also use your hand to rub it with soap. Finally you can just clean yourself back up in the shower so there’s no period of feeling “ew it’s disgusting I touched shit”

If so, you can find them on Amazon. It’s essentially a little handheld sprayer that you attach to your toilet. It doesn’t require any tools or electricity or plumbing knowledge to set it up. It’s like having one of those handheld showerhead sprayers but for the toilet so you can rinse yourself with water instead of or in addition to using toilet paper. It’s a poor man’s bidet for under $50.

I purchased it because I have some medical issues that it’s really helpful for, but it occurred to me that it might be helpful for people with POTS in general because you can freshen up without taking an entire shower.

As someone with dry skin who doesn’t need to wash her hair every day, it’s definitely extending time between showers and I really appreciate it. I don’t faint in the shower but showers leave me feeling really tired.

Wish I had had something like this back in the day when I used to get my period and when I was sexually active.

ETA: I've had a request for a link to the particular model I purchased. I think there are lots of choices that are probably fine and I didn't want to seem like I was advertising for it. The one I purchased is the Brondell Hand Held Bidet Sprayer for Toilet CleanSpa Advanced Bidet Attachment with Precision Pressure Control Jet Spray, but again, you can choose others. :)

Spotless.

Edit: the ‘deed’ was a number 2. Not a 3 or a 4.

I am an India and I use shower jets to clean my butt however I've heard a lot of people say bidets are better. I feel like this is not true as you can't really have a bidet bend at angles to get the right spot but a shower jet can do that. What do y'all think is better to use?

If you don't know what bidet showers are, they are the hoses located near the toilets in some asian countries and scattered around a few regions of the world

I've lived in the Rio de Janeiro state of Brazil for most of my life, and here the bidet showers are very frequent, when I travel to other states or countries I simply view the bathrooms as primitive, still using the horror that is toilet paper

Why should we switch? Well here are some reasons:

• It's not so gross. When wiping, you need to look at shit on a paper (and you can accidentally touch the shit since you can't look back there), by using a hose you can clean all of it without having to look at anything gross

• It's quicker. You need to spend about 30 seconds cleaning around with the hose and leave, with toilet paper you need to wipe every single location, throw away the paper, grab some more to check if everything's clean, and repeat, why all the work?

• You can't run out of it (in most cases). When running out of toilet paper, you need to go to a store and buy more, but you can't really run out of.. water (unless there are some serious issues, but then you have other things to worry about)

So, using toilet paper is dumb and primitive, every country should switch if possible

I’m living in an apartment and I was wondering if they ever check for any modifications to the bathrooms.

Obviously I will put the original back when I leave but in the time I’m staying there I wanna live luxurious

Yes, I am not shitting about this!

All the complaints and rants about the shortage of toilet paper in US are everywhere on Reddit. This makes me wonder what foreigners think of bum gun, I mean, using it is much cleaner than just toilet paper and you don't have to be worried about the shortage. Maybe they don't know about it? Maybe they're afraid? Thanks for your time to answer my question

My toilet is next to my shower. Since my toilet supply line would allow me to put on my bidet I need to look for alternatives.

Is there a bidet spray hose that could be attached to the shower head?

In the rise of the 'toilet paper crisis' around the world, I firmly hold my belief that water nozzles/bidet shower/bum guns/however you call it are superior to toilet paper, except in some very specific circumstances that I will list at the end of this post.

The reasons I think bidet showers are superior to toilet paper, in order of importance, are:

1. Shooting water into your anus is more efficient at getting rid of the remaining stool than wiping it off with paper. Imagine having some stool on your hand because you are e.g. taking care of an infant, would you clean your hands with water (and soap) or would you wipe it with toilet paper?

2. Toilet paper adds more solid matter into the toilet bowl which is already filled with stool. This increases the possibility of clogging. On the other hand, bidet shower pre-flushes the toilet with a small amount of water first, therefore lessening the possibility of toilet clogging.

3. Naturally, toilet paper will be waste paper after use. Bidet showers don't produce any waste.

4. Water from the bidet shower penetrates deeper into the anus, therefore is able to clean more stool than paper which only wipes the outside of the anus.

5. Having a water nozzle handy can encourage the toilet user to also clean their genitalia, be it the penis or the vagina, which is always a good thing.

6. If the bidet shower is used, the toilet user doesn't have to get their hand physically close to their anus, where the remaining stool is. Toilet paper can be torn if you wipe it too hard, and that means you will physically touch your stool. Even if this doesn't matter for most people as generally people wash their hand after taking a dump, it's still better not to touch the stool at all because:

6.1. The stool can get into the underside of your nail, which is harder to clean with normal hand cleaning methods, and also because people generally don't clean their nails as thoroughly as they clean their palms. This is especially relevant for people with long nails, who has more area for the remaining stool to stick to, and also, in my imagination, has a higher chance of tearing the toilet paper while wiping.

6.2. Before cleaning their hand, the toilet user usually needs to pull up their trousers/skirts, and they can unintentionally spread the stool to their clothes with that action.

7. This argument cannot be applied for everybody, but for a certain group of people, not having to buy toilet