What is a day without laundry money?

A quarter life crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unnndy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Today I saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which could mean just one thing.

It’s laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
One of the best comments my Dad's ever made

So one day, I was kneeling in my living room looking for a pair of socks in a pile of clean laundry. I sort of had my head hunched down and my arms stretched out in front of me.

My Dad walks in to the room and says: "Brain13, I think Mecca is the other way."

This was like 3 or 4 years ago now, but it still cracks me up.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brain13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad's favorite spooky Halloween joke

My dad told me this the first time on Halloween night back when I was 9. He tells it to this day to any of my cousins, nephews, or any kids that happen to linger too long at the house when he's giving out candy. It's a long one but I have always enjoyed it.

Back when I was about your age, I went on a Halloween adventure. There was an old abandoned house on our street where a series of grisly axe murders had taken place years before. The house had never sold and was left vacant and was left to fall apart. There was a local legend that if you went into the house on Halloween night, you'd be confronted by the ghost of the murderer himself, still looking for more victims to add to his terrifying story.

My friend Tom and I decided to go through with it one year. Knowing everyone would be too terrified to go into the house, we snuck in easily on Halloween night. The place was falling apart inside, the carpet was wet and moldy and the wallpaper was peeling off everywhere. We headed down carefully to the basement down a set of creaky stairs.

At first we found nothing. Just an empty creepy old house. Suddenly we felt as if we were being watched. I was looking through one of the rooms in the large basement when I suddenly heard Tom shriek. I spun around and turned my flashlight and Tom was being chased by something, no someone. It looked like it was the murderer! A crazed man with an axe!

We turned and tried to run anywhere. We were in the basement but couldn't get up the stairs because we were blocked. We ran into the side room which looked like it might have been the laundry years ago. We locked the door and looked for a way out. The only thing we could find was a small window that opened onto ground level. As I climbed out I heard a pounding on the door. I managed to wriggle my way through the window and turned around to help my friend Tom. Panicking, he managed to get his top half through the window when I noticed the pounding stop.

Tom was stuck! I kept trying to pull him up but I couldn't. I pulled as hard as I could as Tom panicked and thrashed even more. I thought something had him caught, but it was even worse. The murderer had gotten behind him and was holding him back! He was too strong for me to overcome and he was pulling Tom's leg!

Just like I've been pulling yours this whole time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheG-What
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Laundry Detergent

My wife and sister were talking about laundry detergent the other day and her sister mentioned that Tide was coming out with a cheaper version of their detergent. I couldn't help but to chime in with "They should call it low tide"

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LostWalrusHater
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 146
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I just caught a glimpse of my wife wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing.

Today is laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It's laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.