Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are
Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch
... And George Harrison.
What do you call Clint Barton when he does the laundry?
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel
My wife was walking downstairs with the laundry, and dropped it when she missed a step.
I finally did the laundry today.
That was a load off my mind.
You know what the terms "no mercy" and "dirty laundry" have in common?
Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.
After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.
The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.
The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."
"Did you just stand there watching me fall and drop all the laundry?"
"Yes, I watched it all unfold"
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like the first president.
Because I’m Washing-a-ton
"Did you see when i fell and dropped all the laundry?"
"Yes, i watched it all unfold
Why did the Eskimo do laundry in tide?
Because it was too damn cold out tide.
What did April say when playing tag in the laundry room?
May tag. You are it.
Am a dad but never had an original thought before this so here's my first submission.
My daughter tried doing her first load of laundry by herself. All the colors bled and intermixed.
"Well," she said. "It did say on the clothing labels to wash in, like, colors."
My wife and I were up all night arguing over who is doing all the laundry.
I almost fell down the stairs with a basket of laundry. I said “that was a close one”
My dad said “No, that was a clothes one.”
I WAS on top of the laundry. Then my wife had to ruin everything and tell me to fold it like I promised and stop lying on it while I watch TV.
Poker player after taking laundry out of the dryer - "I fold"
Injured my back reaching for the laundry detergent, but hey...
We thought the priests and ghost hunters finally helped us get rid of the annoying ghost that would move our laundry detergent around in our laundry room the past year.
But then, this morning, I walked into the laundry room again and saw the Tides had turned.
Why did the warden give laundry soap to departing prisoners?
As a detergent against future grime.
My wife and I had a huge argument as to who is supposed to take care of the laundry after it’s done.
Who was the first president of the laundry room?
Did the laundry today and forgot my wallet in my pants pocket. Now im facing money laundering charges...
I think my laundry detergent didn't appreciate me pouring it in the washer.
I don't know why, but it just seems agitated.
"Dad, wait a bit, I have to hang the laundry."
"What did the laundry do to you?"
I dropped a gallon jug of liquid laundry detergent and it exploded as it hit the pavement
I said “that’s the end of an Era.”
I was doing all the laundry in the house.
I walk through the house with 3 empty laundry baskets.
Wife: "Having fun?"
Me: "Loads."
While hanging laundry, I accidentally dropped my wife's underwear on the ground
I told her she married a real panty dropper
Walked into the laundry room while my wife was unloading the dryer... She says,"I'm sweating my a$$ off"
I said," ahh sweatin to the foldies"
The Beatles wrote a song about chocolate and laundry detergent.
And it was called Twix and Shout!
I do so much laundry all the time... o ya, how much?
The first president of the United States had to deal with a lot of laundry.
He was washing ton of it.
How much laundry does the foul mouthed housekeeper do?
Is the WWE doing laundry?
Because I'm seeing way too many clotheslines.
My dad just said this to my brother who accidentally washed his check in the laundry.
Dad - "You know that's illigal, right?"
Bro - "What?"
Dad - "Money laundering"
Doing the laundry with my roommate when my Dad-skills activated
On the weekends, my roomie and I head to the cleaners to do our laundry. We were folding our clothes and towels away when he commented on how fancy I fold my towels, similar to how some hotels chains have theirs folded. He asked where I learned to fold towels like that when I said "Oh, its just a natural towel-lent of mine"
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Doing the laundry
I was staring the laundry, and accidently dropped a sock as I carried the pile of clothes to the washing machine.
My wife picked it up and teasingly said "your dropped a sock".
I responded "geeze, who kew doing the laundry could be so agitating".
The look of confusion, then shock and statements of "no... No... Why!" were worth it.
"So you stood there and watched while I dropped all of the laundry?"
"Yep, I watched it all unfold."
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