…he’s wanted for his ill-begotten Gain
High tide
It got mugged.
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Dad: That socks man.
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
....using a tablet.
It's members are
Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch
... And George Harrison.
Eventually, I folded.
https://preview.redd.it/ny6421gsu6271.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc538636d80299444b89d12aa44a57a44ccaf78a
Sockeye.
They always throw in the towel
... because it takes a load off their mind.
A Pedofile
Sorry, just had to heir my dirty laundry
Because I am washing-a-ton
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
It's syncing right now.
I watched it all unfold.
In the arrrchives, of course!
WASHING-TON
Jointly!
My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.
You look for the fresh prints!
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Japan.
it's Hans free now..
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
That was the punchline
Sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
A bit of FLAC
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
They use a IsoPod
It got mugged.
It got mugged.
"Yep, I watched it all unfold."
Because it got mugged.
