What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?

Where wolf!?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Telusion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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I was in a taxi the other day.

The driver said β€œI love my job, no one tells me what to do”

I said β€œTurn left.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jammidodgajames
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Why is Darth Vader not allowed to drive a taxi?

Because he is not a tax-evader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmugAlligator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.

Operation Toot And Calm β€˜Em will last a week.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I just paid Β£25 for a 3 mile taxi ride to a launderette...

I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ilovegingerhair18
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver...

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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A wolf walks into a taxi

the driver asks: "where wolf?"

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πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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This place in Jakarta, Indonesia was a Taxi Pool last week
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloud68
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."

Then I said, "Turn left here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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I saw a guy flagging down a taxi van today.

I guess you could say he was Van Halen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amp93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Me: Dad, can you call me a taxi?

Dad: OK......Sorry Taxi, was there something else?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaintyGhost747
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What do you call a taxi made out of vegetables?

A corn on the cab!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"

"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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How does a carpenter catch a taxi?

He makes a cabinet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SadderHoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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I said I wanted to book a taxi.

"How many of you are there?" he asked.

I said, "I'm the only version of me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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What's the first thing a taxi driver said to the wolf?

Where, wolf?

*Auuuu*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagnusCreske
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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When I hailed a taxi, the driver started insulting me.

"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.

To which he replied, "Hey, that's what I do best. I drive people away."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsofjoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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There were taxis falling from the sky

It was hailing cabs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TraditionSmashed
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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I called a taxi driver today

He didn't pick up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChosenMate
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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What do you call a taxi service for nerds?

Guber

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skibum73a
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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How do you describe fake taxi in one word

ScrewDriver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Risheek_Arora
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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My friend and I both started taxi companies at the same time, but mine lasted longer.

I guess I drove him out of business...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silent_Ordinary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I'm going to start an online taxi firm.

I just need to download the drivers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairychris88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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When he pulled up outside I told the taxi driver that I left my wallet inside my house.

He sighed and said, "I'm not falling for that one."

I said, "Trust me, it is."

He let me in and five minutes later I heard him honking on the horn, so I looked out the window.

He said, "Stop messing around, will you? Your wallet. You must have found it by now."

I said, "No, I haven't got it."

"Well, why the hell not?"

I said, "This isn't my house."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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The driver was charged by police for driving taxi under influence of alcohol.

Police said he was intaxicated

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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I took a taxi home from the pub last night.

I bet the driver's livid that he doesn't have a car any more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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There was a man on the side of the road throwing bits of ice at taxis that drove by.

A concerned passerby stopped and asked him why he was throwing ice at taxis.

The man replied, "I'm hailing a cab."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillKay10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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What do you call the guy who's driving a Fake Taxi?

Screwdriver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shyggar
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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The local taxi driver had passed away. RIP, buddy.

His funeral will be held on the next road on the left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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I drunkenly stumbled into the back of a taxi.

The driver said, "If you are sick on one of my seats I will charge you Β£50."

Thankfully I was sick on three of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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Why did the taxi driver quit his job?

He was tired of people talking behind his back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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-"Hey could you call me a taxi?"
  • "you are a taxi.."
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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A Man Gets Into A Taxi

A man walks out of his work building and hails a taxi. He gets into the taxi and says, "Take me to the sandwich shop up on 45^th street." Ten minutes later they arrive, and the cab driver checks the console. "That'll be $12.00." The man is shocked. "This route used to be only $6.00! What happened?" The taxi driver explains. "Well, construction was blocking the usual route, so I had to double back and take a longer route." The man considers this, then shrugs.

"I guess that's fare."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlausBaudelaire
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
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A clown offered to share the taxi...

I thought it was a nice jester

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurt-Lock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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Do you want me to call you a taxi?

You're a taxi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potatofarmerdude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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Whats the first thing a taxi driver said to the wolf?

Where, wolf?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiva420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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"Can you call me a taxi?"

"Ok, you're a taxi"

My dad literally just did this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameismunka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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"Can you please call me a taxi?"

"You're a taxi."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kattladee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
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What do they call a taxi stand in France?

A cabarrΓͺt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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Why did leaders of the soviet union hate riding taxi's?

They were always stalin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoScary555
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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My dad's taxi rank ripper

So last week, my family was returning home on a plane flight, and because we had a lot of luggage, my parents decided to take a taxi. Well, we'd been waiting at the taxi rank for a while, and my dad exclaims: "We've been waiting here ten minutes, and what have we got to chauffeur it?" Groans were had.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deltalessthanzero
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver.

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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