The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns...

It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

EDIT: Thank you so much for my first award!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PSN_Clamour_Kid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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A wolf walks into a taxi

the driver asks: "where wolf?"

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πŸ“…︎ May 27
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I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver...

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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This place in Jakarta, Indonesia was a Taxi Pool last week
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloud68
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."

Then I said, "Turn left here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Me: Dad, can you call me a taxi?

Dad: OK......Sorry Taxi, was there something else?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaintyGhost747
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I saw a guy flagging down a taxi van today.

I guess you could say he was Van Halen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amp93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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What do you call a taxi made out of vegetables?

A corn on the cab!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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I said I wanted to book a taxi.

"How many of you are there?" he asked.

I said, "I'm the only version of me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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How does a carpenter catch a taxi?

He makes a cabinet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SadderHoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"

"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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What's the first thing a taxi driver said to the wolf?

Where, wolf?

*Auuuu*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagnusCreske
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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There were taxis falling from the sky

It was hailing cabs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TraditionSmashed
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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When I hailed a taxi, the driver started insulting me.

"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.

To which he replied, "Hey, that's what I do best. I drive people away."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsofjoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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How do you describe fake taxi in one word

ScrewDriver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Risheek_Arora
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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I called a taxi driver today

He didn't pick up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChosenMate
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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What do you call a taxi service for nerds?

Guber

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skibum73a
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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My friend and I both started taxi companies at the same time, but mine lasted longer.

I guess I drove him out of business...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silent_Ordinary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I'm going to start an online taxi firm.

I just need to download the drivers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairychris88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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When he pulled up outside I told the taxi driver that I left my wallet inside my house.

He sighed and said, "I'm not falling for that one."

I said, "Trust me, it is."

He let me in and five minutes later I heard him honking on the horn, so I looked out the window.

He said, "Stop messing around, will you? Your wallet. You must have found it by now."

I said, "No, I haven't got it."

"Well, why the hell not?"

I said, "This isn't my house."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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The driver was charged by police for driving taxi under influence of alcohol.

Police said he was intaxicated

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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I took a taxi home from the pub last night.

I bet the driver's livid that he doesn't have a car any more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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There was a man on the side of the road throwing bits of ice at taxis that drove by.

A concerned passerby stopped and asked him why he was throwing ice at taxis.

The man replied, "I'm hailing a cab."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillKay10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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What do you call the guy who's driving a Fake Taxi?

Screwdriver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shyggar
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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The local taxi driver had passed away. RIP, buddy.

His funeral will be held on the next road on the left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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I drunkenly stumbled into the back of a taxi.

The driver said, "If you are sick on one of my seats I will charge you Β£50."

Thankfully I was sick on three of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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Why did the taxi driver quit his job?

He was tired of people talking behind his back

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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A clown offered to share the taxi...

I thought it was a nice jester

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurt-Lock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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-"Hey could you call me a taxi?"
  • "you are a taxi.."
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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A Man Gets Into A Taxi

A man walks out of his work building and hails a taxi. He gets into the taxi and says, "Take me to the sandwich shop up on 45^th street." Ten minutes later they arrive, and the cab driver checks the console. "That'll be $12.00." The man is shocked. "This route used to be only $6.00! What happened?" The taxi driver explains. "Well, construction was blocking the usual route, so I had to double back and take a longer route." The man considers this, then shrugs.

"I guess that's fare."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlausBaudelaire
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
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Do you want me to call you a taxi?

You're a taxi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potatofarmerdude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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Whats the first thing a taxi driver said to the wolf?

Where, wolf?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiva420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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"Can you call me a taxi?"

"Ok, you're a taxi"

My dad literally just did this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameismunka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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"Can you please call me a taxi?"

"You're a taxi."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kattladee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
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Why are Taxis so expensive?

Because they are Tax-i

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WoofImDoge
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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Why did leaders of the soviet union hate riding taxi's?

They were always stalin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoScary555
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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What do they call a taxi stand in France?

A cabarrΓͺt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arc88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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My dad's taxi rank ripper

So last week, my family was returning home on a plane flight, and because we had a lot of luggage, my parents decided to take a taxi. Well, we'd been waiting at the taxi rank for a while, and my dad exclaims: "We've been waiting here ten minutes, and what have we got to chauffeur it?" Groans were had.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deltalessthanzero
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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The best Dad Joke ever appears in the 'Follow That Taxi' AskReddit thread...

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2k4l1v/taxi_drivers_of_reddit_have_you_ever_had_to/clhzwbw?context=1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tf2fan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2014
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I just got fired from my job as a taxi driver.

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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