I donโt like the government taking all my money. Itโs taxing
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Or a taxing task xD
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︎ Apr 05 2020
Taxing menstrual products...
...is a bloody shame, and they should stop that, period. Don't expect me to just go with the flow.
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︎ Apr 21 2018
What kind of insect helps people with their taxes?
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︎ Jun 29 2020
I tried to pay my taxes to the IRS with a smile
Turns out they prefer money.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
What would you call a psychologist who doesn't do his taxes?
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︎ Jun 20 2020
You know who does Darth Vaderโs taxes?
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︎ Jun 15 2020
Did you hear about the guy who tried to evade his taxes?
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︎ May 27 2020
Why are you supposed to round to the nearest dollar on your tax returns?
Because the IRS has no cents.
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︎ Apr 15 2020
I celebrated 4/20 by filing my taxes
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Guys, I had a really exhausting day yesterday, filling in forms and calculating the surplus of money I had to pay to the country.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Where do redditors go to pay cat tax?
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︎ Mar 22 2020
What did the doctor say to the businessman? with an enlarged prostate who was being audited for tax evasion?
Urine trouble
*Apologies for the early '?'
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Hope this one doesnโt blow up on me.
๐︎ 4k
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︎ Feb 21 2020
I used Turbo Tax to file my taxes last year.
Iโll use a different service this year. I wasnโt really in to it.
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︎ Jan 14 2020
I never file my taxes.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
If there was a caffeine tax...
Would you call it a cof(fee)?
Get it? a fee, but coffee?
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︎ Aug 23 2019
Dadjoke by IRS, but for real
IRS: Itโs time for you to pay your taxes
Me: Ok, how much is it?
IRS: Well, thatโs up to you to figure it out
Me: Cool, so I can pay as much as I want
IRS: Oh no! We know EXACTLY how much you owe and if you do it wrong you could go to jail
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︎ Jul 01 2020
What nationality is Santa Claus?
๐︎ 1k
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︎ Dec 22 2019
When maijuana is legalized, all the money raised through taxes should go into road repair
It would be called Operation Pot Holes
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︎ Jun 16 2019
My house is infested with insects, but at least they are helping me with my taxes.
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︎ Aug 04 2019
Why are IRS employees always tired when they get home?
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︎ Dec 08 2019
What's a religious businessperson's favorite type of business?
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︎ Apr 08 2020
A king who fought China
Once upon a time there was a king in the olden times
He loved giving out diktats like
"So shall citizens pay double the tax"
"So shall boys over 18 join the army"
He went to war with China
He won
In the court, they brought a Chinese man
"Your Majesty, he's the best singer in China, but refuses to sing since he is unwell with cough, fever"
The king then gave out a new diktat
"So shall this Tan sing"
And to this day, when it happens..
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︎ May 01 2020
Tax question
Do pot dispensaries file joint tax returns?
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︎ Jul 01 2019
The city of St. Louis is offering huge tax breaks to major corporations so that big businesses can move in.
Because Missouri loves Company.
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︎ May 19 2019
So, this is the end.
I was arrested for speaking out of line. I was protesting against the injustices facing our community, the harsh taxes and oppressions that have faced my community for years. The cruel and unusual punishments especially. Our town is small and insular, so outside influence is heavily resisted by our small town government, but despite that, my friends and I have pushed on, resisting our mistreatment and misery. But as you know, I was arrested. Surprisingly, I wasn't jailed or executed. I was beaten. They had us in a row, lines up facing our tormentors. The would-be executioners merely thrust their fists upon us. It was brutal. While there, I though to myself, "Huh, I guess this is the punchline."
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︎ Apr 03 2020
Someone told me their pre-tax income.
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︎ Jun 26 2019
Operation Pothole
๐︎ 10k
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︎ Apr 10 2019
I received a letter the other day saying my tax return was 'outstanding'.
Although it's lovely to receive such high praise from HMRC, to be honest I can't even remember sending one in.
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︎ Nov 21 2018
Why don't atheist have to pay taxes.
Apparently Atheism is a non-prophet organization
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︎ Apr 29 2019
What is it called when people donโt pay their taxes?
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︎ Jun 28 2019
I don't do my own taxes
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︎ Jun 08 2019
Can I claim my Indian Bread company as a charity tax deduction?
Itโs a Naan Profit Organization.
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︎ Jan 02 2019
I never get cow tipping right
Is it 15%? 20%? I can never remember, I'm a terrible cow tipper
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︎ Feb 13 2020
I used to be a banker
๐︎ 2k
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︎ May 18 2018
The government denied tax exemption for my church that believes Jesus spoke with a lisp
It was a real slap in the faith.
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︎ Oct 30 2018
Lady Godiva rode nude though Coventry to protest taxes.
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︎ May 05 2019
IRS Auditor: For your tax return, you just wrote down โMoney for Nothing, Checks for Free??โ
Me: Am I in trouble?
Auditor: Yes. In Dire Straits.
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︎ Nov 04 2018
I used to have a friend who worked in the tax office, but he only ever talked about work.
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︎ Apr 14 2019
I eat when I'm stressed and I'm stressed when doing taxes...
I wind up come April in a higher slacks bracket!
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︎ Mar 11 2019
Did you hear about the garbage bag tax?
Some people think it's too Hefty...
Others are Glad...
I think the whole thing is trash!
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︎ Feb 16 2019
He needed to find a tax write-off
For tax purposes, he invested in a gas station that was losing money. It was just self-serving
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︎ Oct 22 2018
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
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︎ May 12 2019
I think that stores in the US displaying their prices without sales tax is simply just...
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︎ Aug 01 2018
It shall commence on 4/20
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︎ Mar 19 2018
I only give up my seat during tax season.
It's considered a chairitable donation.
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︎ Feb 13 2019
I inherited my grandfather's tax shelter today
๐︎ 1k
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︎ Apr 04 2015
Happy Tax Deadline Day !
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︎ Apr 18 2018
IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes. Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years...
reddit.com/r/Jokes/commenโฆ
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︎ Dec 03 2018
Me: The city has high school taxes.
Dad: What about the elementary schools?
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︎ Aug 11 2015
I won a million dollars playing the lottery and donated a quarter of it to my favorite charity.
What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?
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︎ Oct 22 2019
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
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︎ Dec 17 2016
If you ever have a feeling that nobody is thinking about you.
Just stop paying your taxes.
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︎ Feb 11 2020
My boss got a hair cut and a set of airpods after she got her tax refund.
I guess all of that money went to her head.
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︎ Mar 02 2018
In honor of impending tax day, I present to you this gem from a friends father.
Friend: sigh. I canโt believe they charge me $25 to automatically file my state return. Anyway, love you dad hope youโre having an OK day :)
Dad: thanks. Love you W-2.
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︎ Apr 13 2018
GF has been working on her taxes for the last two hours
"This is too much - I'm exhausted!"
"...sounds taxing."
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︎ Feb 20 2015
The error message on fat bastards screen when his computer crashed
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︎ Dec 15 2019
How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes?
They always single file, to hide their numbers.
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︎ Nov 02 2017
Like every good citizen, I like to pay my taxes with a smile.
Unfortunately the government only accepts checks.
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︎ Mar 13 2018
I once met Meatloaf when I was working as a car salesman.
He came in looking for a small coupe for his wifeโs forthcoming birthday. He found one he liked and we completed a test drive together. The car was listed at ยฃ28,000 plus tax. He was deep in thought looking around the car but unfortunately for me he decided not to buy it. I was in my 20s, had a young family and working a commission only job so a couple of days later I rang him to see if anything could be done. He was keen on the car but didnโt like the ยฃ28,000 plus tax price tag. I assured him that this was a great price for the car, however he said that it wasnโt so much the price of the car, it was more the tax. He said, โIโd do anything for love, but I wonโt do VATโ
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︎ Jan 16 2020
Never trust a psychologist to do your taxes
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︎ Mar 29 2018
What happens when Argentinians donโt pay taxes.....
Things get a little Messi in court.
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︎ Mar 13 2018
Just found out how Iโll be paying my income tax in my new job as an undertaker.
Itโll be pay as you urn.
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︎ Mar 26 2018
I used to love doing my taxes.
But this year, I'm just not that Intuit.
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︎ Mar 30 2018
Why is the IRS always tired?
Taking money for the government is taxing
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︎ Jul 05 2019
I think all these tax breaks for religions are wrong.
We all know atheism is the only true non-prophet.
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︎ Dec 08 2017
Has does Santa list the elves on his tax returns?
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︎ Dec 16 2017
After messing up my tax return forms yet again, my accountant said to me: "you're such a liability....."
"... you should be on a balance sheet"...
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︎ Oct 13 2017
Howโd the goose get a huge tax return?
His bill was tax de-duck-table
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︎ Jan 29 2018
Is it fair to say that the idea of taxes is tariffying?
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︎ Feb 19 2017
I just started my new job at the IRS.
So far, it's been pretty taxing.
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︎ Feb 14 2017
Tax season
My SO: "You seem tired, did you have a busy night?"
Me: "No, I just did taxes. I didn't realize they can be so... taxing."
Pretty damn proud of myself for that one.
๐︎ 89
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︎ Apr 27 2014
My dad just got me with this one
Dad: I've got a 4 figure tax return!
Me (unsuspecting: Really?!? How much?
Dad: ยฃ11.11
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︎ Oct 02 2019
Got Dad joked after paying my car tax
So I just paid my car tax online, and my dad asked if there was a timer saying "Processing" after I had entered my details. I said, "No, but I used a new beta service that's probably different to the old one." He said, "Oh, is that...beta than the old one?"
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︎ Aug 02 2014
The worst music albums always cost $19.95
so when you pay, you usually get a nickel back.
๐︎ 3k
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︎ Apr 08 2017
Taxes
As I'm filing my taxes, I said to my wife in the other room "This is really taxing." She came in and asked "What is?", saw what I was doing, and groaned then chuckled.
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︎ Mar 06 2016
My dog is not very bright.
He filed my taxes late again.
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︎ Sep 10 2019
What's the difference between Al Capone and Anakin Skywalker driving an Uber
One's a tax evader, the other is a taxi Vader
๐︎ 122
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︎ Jan 10 2019
where do norse texans go when they die
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︎ Apr 18 2018
Why did the kindergartner go to jail?
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︎ Jul 09 2018
Tax audit guy: It says in your file that you have money for nothing and checks for free.
Man: Am I in trouble?
Tax guy: Yes. In Dire Straits.
๐︎ 8
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︎ Aug 28 2018
I use Turbo Tax evrey year for my taxes
๐︎ 12
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︎ Feb 10 2017
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