Punstoppable
A list of puns related to "Taxing"
...is a bloody shame, and they should stop that, period. Don't expect me to just go with the flow.
An accountant.
Turns out they prefer money.
A Sigmund Fraud.
It did not pay off.
Because the IRS has no cents.
It was a taxing day.
Urine trouble
*Apologies for the early '?'
I’ll use a different service this year. I wasn’t really in to it.
Would you call it a cof(fee)?
Get it? a fee, but coffee?
IRS: It’s time for you to pay your taxes
Me: Ok, how much is it?
IRS: Well, that’s up to you to figure it out
Me: Cool, so I can pay as much as I want
IRS: Oh no! We know EXACTLY how much you owe and if you do it wrong you could go to jail
It would be called Operation Pot Holes
They're account ants.
Their jobs are taxing.
Sole proprietorship
Once upon a time there was a king in the olden times
He loved giving out diktats like
"So shall citizens pay double the tax"
"So shall boys over 18 join the army"
He went to war with China
He won
In the court, they brought a Chinese man
"Your Majesty, he's the best singer in China, but refuses to sing since he is unwell with cough, fever"
The king then gave out a new diktat
"So shall this Tan sing"
And to this day, when it happens..
Do pot dispensaries file joint tax returns?
Because Missouri loves Company.
I was arrested for speaking out of line. I was protesting against the injustices facing our community, the harsh taxes and oppressions that have faced my community for years. The cruel and unusual punishments especially. Our town is small and insular, so outside influence is heavily resisted by our small town government, but despite that, my friends and I have pushed on, resisting our mistreatment and misery. But as you know, I was arrested. Surprisingly, I wasn't jailed or executed. I was beaten. They had us in a row, lines up facing our tormentors. The would-be executioners merely thrust their fists upon us. It was brutal. While there, I though to myself, "Huh, I guess this is the punchline."
Although it's lovely to receive such high praise from HMRC, to be honest I can't even remember sending one in.
Apparently Atheism is a non-prophet organization
Anti-taxx
It’s a Naan Profit Organization.
Is it 15%? 20%? I can never remember, I'm a terrible cow tipper
It was a real slap in the faith.
It's the naked truth.
Me: Am I in trouble?
Auditor: Yes. In Dire Straits.
It was taxing.
I wind up come April in a higher slacks bracket!
Some people think it's too Hefty... Others are Glad... I think the whole thing is trash!
For tax purposes, he invested in a gas station that was losing money. It was just self-serving
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
gross
It's considered a chairitable donation.
http://imgur.com/C5p5it9
Dad: What about the elementary schools?
What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?
They set up shell corporations.
Just stop paying your taxes.
I guess all of that money went to her head.
Friend: sigh. I can’t believe they charge me $25 to automatically file my state return. Anyway, love you dad hope you’re having an OK day :) Dad: thanks. Love you W-2.
"This is too much - I'm exhausted!"
"...sounds taxing."
Chin-tax error
They always single file, to hide their numbers.
Unfortunately the government only accepts checks.
He came in looking for a small coupe for his wife’s forthcoming birthday. He found one he liked and we completed a test drive together. The car was listed at £28,000 plus tax. He was deep in thought looking around the car but unfortunately for me he decided not to buy it. I was in my 20s, had a young family and working a commission only job so a couple of days later I rang him to see if anything could be done. He was keen on the car but didn’t like the £28,000 plus tax price tag. I assured him that this was a great price for the car, however he said that it wasn’t so much the price of the car, it was more the tax. He said, ‘I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do VAT’
He may commit tax freud
Things get a little Messi in court.
It’ll be pay as you urn.
But this year, I'm just not that Intuit.
Taking money for the government is taxing
We all know atheism is the only true non-prophet.
As dependent Clauses
"... you should be on a balance sheet"...
His bill was tax de-duck-table
So far, it's been pretty taxing.
My SO: "You seem tired, did you have a busy night?"
Me: "No, I just did taxes. I didn't realize they can be so... taxing."
Pretty damn proud of myself for that one.
Dad: I've got a 4 figure tax return!
Me (unsuspecting: Really?!? How much?
Dad: £11.11
So I just paid my car tax online, and my dad asked if there was a timer saying "Processing" after I had entered my details. I said, "No, but I used a new beta service that's probably different to the old one." He said, "Oh, is that...beta than the old one?"
so when you pay, you usually get a nickel back.
As I'm filing my taxes, I said to my wife in the other room "This is really taxing." She came in and asked "What is?", saw what I was doing, and groaned then chuckled.
He filed my taxes late again.
One's a tax evader, the other is a taxi Vader
For resisting a rest.
Man: Am I in trouble?
Tax guy: Yes. In Dire Straits.
I'm really intuit
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