The bank want to repossess my tree house. They say I haven't kept up my mortgage payments....

I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 11 2021
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I just made my last car payment.

I still owe a lot, I'm just not paying anymore.

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👤︎ u/OliPark
📅︎ Oct 25 2020
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What kind of nuts only accept credit card payments?

Cashews

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👤︎ u/soloazn
📅︎ Aug 12 2020
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I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...

He re-Poe-ed them.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Oct 01 2020
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We accept an argument as a form of payment, here....

At the Whine and Dine.

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📅︎ Aug 18 2020
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Did you know you can make payments using a smart watch?

What a time to be alive.

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👤︎ u/dendrobiumal
📅︎ May 28 2020
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I went to college after promising to make payments for tuition with tender cuts of meat...

For the next ten years, I'll be paying off my student loins.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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How does Tiger Woods make his payments?

Chip and pin

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👤︎ u/GaryTheKnight
📅︎ Aug 13 2019
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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👤︎ u/JoshP99
📅︎ Jan 28 2019
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I took out a loan with a bank who cut off your limbs if you didn’t meet the payments

Cost me an arm and a leg to keep up with their interest rates

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👤︎ u/Harry_Mote
📅︎ Apr 09 2019
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A man with a chicken takes a cab to the airport. Upon arrival, the cabbie insisted on taking the chicken as payment for the ride.

After all, fare is fowl.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Feb 27 2019
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I fell behind on payments for my exorcist...

I hope my house doesn't get repossessed.

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👤︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
📅︎ Oct 15 2017
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With mobile banking, payments are as easy as Pi.
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👤︎ u/elRobRex
📅︎ Nov 16 2017
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These friars were behind on their belfry payments...

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

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👤︎ u/JButler22093
📅︎ Jan 10 2018
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My dermatologist prefers payment in large bills

But all I have is shingles.

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👤︎ u/ALinchpin
📅︎ Dec 08 2017
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What did the cashier say when I was upset that the store didn't accept my checks as payment?

"Nothing personal."

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👤︎ u/GrayingMantis
📅︎ Dec 19 2017
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I just can't get on board with these contactless payments

without them I can barely see the machine

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👤︎ u/scottishy
📅︎ May 06 2016
🚨︎ report

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