People began paying the Hawaiian volcano goddess to lie down from time to time
They're calling it a pay lay
Paying bills is hard.
Some would call it taxing.
Went to the comedy club with some friends and ended up paying for everyone...
My friend asks if it is okay to park without paying. I told him, “don’t worry.”
While paying for groceries at a local store ,they had reusable shopping bags with the breast cancer awareness ribbon on them with a handwritten sign that said $.99 for a better tomorrow.
I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"
I wasn’t paying attention and poured too much creamer in my coffee
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
My girlfriend just left me. She said I wasn't paying enough attention to her.
My main job as a criminal wasn't paying much so I picked up a 2nd at a bakery
What can I say, I knead the dough
Who's actually paying for the Fence?
The Department of Da Fence.
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
I was paying for my groceries at the store when I realized I was short a few pennies.
I asked the cashier if they had a take-a-penny leave-a-penny. They said "No", to which I retorted "that doesn't make any cents".
Due to COVID-19 a grocery store started paying its employees in vegetables
I tried paying the store with a piece of chicken ...
...but the cashier wouldn’t accept my tender.
My under-educated son is working for a very low-paying job
There was a line of people outside of the gym I workout at the other day. I found it quite weird as the line of people were paying money just to hit each other.
Guess you could call it a punchline.
We should all start paying with Raisins and Sultanas.
I hear the currant exchange rate is excellent.
The waitress asked my dad if he was paying credit.
He responded with a grin, "Did you just assume my tender?"
Just paying homage to one of the best
I'm a dad and I was paying for my groceries when...
a university student was packing her overflowing backpack with her own purchases. She got everything in, except for a baguette and a bunch of leeks, the latter sticking out of her pack through an opening in the zipper.
I just couldn't help myself.
"Your backpack is leaking".
"Hey I'm not paying you to sit around and do nothing" "Dad, you're not paying me at all"
"That's what I just said. I'm not paying you now get back to work"
An old guy and a young guy were pushing their carts at Home Depot when they collided. The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”
The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”
The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”
The old guy says, “Doesn't matter, let’s look for yours.”
Any one can take my old batteries from me without paying
A man I know brings cheese from home to put on his fast food burgers instead of paying extra.
He's a pretty Krafty guy.
My wife said that I should start paying more attention to what’s going on around me.
TIL that sea-faring pirates were quite progressive in their labor practices, reserving a portion of their loot into an early sort of worker's comp, paying for peg-legs and hooks.
They weren't big fans of arrrbitration.
I hate paying contactless.
I can't see the chip and pin device.
What kind of offense is not paying your credit card debt?
What the highest paying job in Turkmenistan.
Running all those male tanning salons.
A dog used lived in a clay-brick house but was evicted for not paying his mortgage..
A Dobie's adobe abode owed dough.
One morning at work a few years ago, I wasn't paying attention to what Was going on around me and I suffered a serious industrial accident.
I worked right thru my coffee break !
These days paying for porn is for wankers.
I’ll just show myself out.
Most people have a good paying job, priests on the other hand have a god praying job
My mom was paying at the register...
She owed four pennies:
Her: "I have four cents! -rummaging through purse-"
Me: "Actually, you were born also with a fifth sense."
Cue eye roll. Not the best work but it gave me a chuckle
Just found out how I’ll be paying my income tax in my new job as an undertaker.
A hotel's customer is paying after his 3 day stay
I was paying for my groceries with a debit card
The transaction didn't go through. There was a chip error.
Me: "Chip error?
That's funny, I'm not even buying any chips."
This produced a groan from the cashier and at least two people in line behind me.
No I wasn’t paying attention
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal...
sees you later or in a while.
Did you know? You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
You can distinguish between an alligator and a crocodiles by paying attention to whether the animals sees you later or in a while
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