How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my carβs center console.
It was my climb-it change.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
My friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants, the pay was bad but...
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
I need to pay for my horse's accommodation.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
π︎ 34
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
What happened when Santa didn't pay to park his sleigh?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
How do you pay someone that is giving you a circumcision?
Tell emβ to keep the tip.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
What do you call a noodle you pay for sex?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
What happened when the girl didnβt pay her exorcist
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."
(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
For my next car, Iβm going to buy a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the necessary tariffs.
It will be my Civic duty.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
I keep asking my flatmate to pay his rent
And he keeps turning sideways to avoid me
π︎ 22
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit Β£10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
βLike Β£10 notesβ I told him
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
Before air was free at the gas station, and now you have to pay for it? You know why?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Did you know that in some countries, mathematicians are forced to pay fines for being unlawful to Jesus?
Yeah, itβs called a Sin-tax.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
Did you hear about the pay as you go toilet in space?
The price was gastronomical!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
The Czech republic is introducing a train ticketing system so you can pay with bitcoin...
...it uses blocktrain Czechnology.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
I have just found the Catholic version of pay per view.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
My son asked we to pay for his rifle test today. It was $30.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
I told my bowmen that I would pay anytime they need to get some practice in at the course.
Theyβre free range archers now.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
I crack bad jokes about having to borrow my parents old clothes because my job doesn't pay well...
What can I say? I've got my father's jeans.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Pay attention in class kids
π︎ 54
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.
What a grand start to the weekend.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
A rich man who got sent to jail decided to pay to upgrade his prison cell.
He is now behind gold bars.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Compressed air at gas stations used to be FREE, but now you have to pay $2!
π︎ 80
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
What did the pirate pay for his earrings?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
A friend of mine didn't pay for his daughter's exorcism
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
During Coronavirus, always pay businesses with cash where possible.
It will help them make a gross profit.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
What do the programmers do when they pay respect?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
My mate works in Dublin hospitalβs fracture clinic. The pay's crap....
....but she enjoys the craic.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
If you pay for your kitchen remodel with fake bills...
Youβre counterfeiting the counter fitter.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. Itβs on the house!
π︎ 295
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....
So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill
So I sent him a "get well soon" card
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, itβs on the house
π︎ 64
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, itβs on the house.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. Itβs on the house.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
My friend couldnβt afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a βget well soonβ card.
π︎ 228
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
I have decided to buy a new Honda directly from Japan and pay all the tariffs.
It will be my Civic duty.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
My friend couldnβt afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a βGet well soonβ card
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
My friend couldnβt afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a βGet well soonβ card
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing.
Itβs on the house.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
For my next car, Iβm thinking of buying a Honda directly from Japan and pay all the tariffs.
Itβll be my Civic duty.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.