A man who had just died was delivered to the mortuary wearing a beautiful black suit.

The mortician asked the deceasedโ€™s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit heโ€™s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says โ€œI donโ€™t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.โ€ The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, โ€œwhatever this costs Iโ€™m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and Iโ€™m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?โ€ To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says โ€œthereโ€™s no charge.โ€ Shocked she replies โ€œno really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.โ€ โ€œHonestly maโ€™amโ€, the mortician says, โ€œit costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PaladinDanza
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I knew a man that got injured in a office supplies store

I don't know what happened to him all I know is that he got comPENsation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mRmyster76
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Looking for a veteran to stand-in as my father for Christmas, compensation included.

For lease navy dad

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why was the Shawarma on workers compensation?

It falafel ladder.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tmacker14
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Were you forced to walk 500 miles then walk 500 more?

You could be due compensation. Contact the Pro-Claimers now!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brucemoose1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
In June there was a Supreme Court ruling that overturned a Department of Agriculture policy in which raisins were seized from farmers in order to maintain high prices. An appeal case was suggested that would mandate compensation for farmers who forfeited their raisins

Clarence Thomas, in response, said an appeal would be "a fruitless exercise"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dude108
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A buddy fixed the boiler in our new house

He wouldnโ€™t accept any compensation. Called it our house warming gift.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 27
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hutimuti
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Understanding Disney Villains

I really think Disney Villains are misunderstood. You have to respect how they pursue their passions. They usually have henchmen or โ€œemployeesโ€ so Iโ€™m guessing thereโ€™s a compensation system in place and they are managing a budget to fund all their evil campaigns. And what business model did they have to follow? Was there an Ursula before Ursula? I donโ€™t think so. These villains are business visionaries and they deserve such respect.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sesmith420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Complained to my dad about having to pay $1 at the gas station air pump...

"Don't be upset, you're just compensating for inflation."

:|

๐Ÿ‘︎ 270
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ajustyle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 11 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
an old man died and was delivered to the local mortuary.....

.. and he's wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.' The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, 'There's no charge.' 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit,' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' the mortician says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.' 'So I just switched the heads.'

๐Ÿ‘︎ 50
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Proclaimers

DID YOU WALK 500 MILES?. WERE YOU ADVISED TO WALK 500 MORE?. YOU COULD CLAIM COMPENSATION!. CALL THE PRO-CLAIMERS TODAY!.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KnucklesTheBurrito
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.