Darth Vader's wife even better than Vader at lifting people off the ground

Ella Vader is a real professional

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheTrainWarden
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2021
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"My boss is being mean," I told my wife. "She isn't letting me have time off work even though I have an upset stomach."

"Well, why don't you go over her head?" asked my wife.

"I wouldn't want to make her hair smelly."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/incredibleinkpen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06 2022
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I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.

Let that sink in.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RobotPreacher
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Why is my stud finder constantly going off even when it isn't touching the wall?

Oh wait... I'm holding it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ndisa44
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Ted's wife was a horrible cook. She served mashed potatoes that were so runny, that his whole plate resembled soup. Even though she insisted that she drained the pasta, her spaghetti was so watery that the sauce ran off the plate. Ted had no choice...

...he was forced to take out a restraining order.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Even during this, my dad still tries to pull off a joke

So, let's start off with a fact about myself: I'm vegetarian. I've been one my whole life. Now, let's get to the story.

Basically, I was driving down to camp at a Battleship with my dad (for a Boy Scouts trip), and this was during my first 6 months of learning to drive. This was the most intense trip for me (so far), and I was already nervous about driving on the interstate, so I was doing my best to practice proper driver etiquette.

Now, here's where the story gets interesting. I'm cruising down the interstate, going approximately 70 mph in the middle lane, when all of a sudden, I see a deer emerge onto the road from the right. It's running to the left (aka, trying to cross this interstate). The car to the right of me slams on the brakes, so the deer kept running. I slammed on my breaks as hard as I could, BARELY missing the deer. The car to the left of me was unlucky. The deer smashes its head into the left car's headlight and it flips over to the right (over my car). Clearly, it's dead, and as it flipped over my car, a lot of its blood gets onto my windshield.

I'm horrified. I kept driving forward. Trying to make sure I didn't veer off or anything. I look to my dad, and my hands are slightly shaking while I'm continuing this trip. My dad looks over to me, smiles, and says, "Don't worry, my 'deer'. Keep driving."

I looked back at him with the most disgusted face, and he just started giggling. Good god, this was NOT the time for a dad joke, but nevertheless, my dad didn't fail to deliver.

I thought I'd hate him forever after this and people would agree with me, but now this joke gets one of the largest laughs from people at parties. <_<

tl;dr My dad's sense of humor appalls me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chunkymonkeyman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Even my sex life isn't off limits from dad.

Dad: Where is that girl you're seeing from?

Me: Maine

Dad: Bangor? chuckles to himself

Edit: context.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SandmanS2000
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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Gold tier
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/high_appointment
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 06 2023
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left one looks odd.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/notreallyhaarsh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2023
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It needs dots, not straightening
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EndersGame_Reviewer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 08 2023
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This is ridiculous! We're 364 days away from Christmas

And people already have their lights up on their house.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/burghguy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2022
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This just happened in real life, and I got not even a chuckle.

True story: the wife and I were walking in Target this evening. We were walking in the clothing section, behind an employee who was moving a mannequin. Out of nowhere the whole arm pops off, and the poor woman canโ€™t bend to pick it up becauseโ€ฆ ya knowโ€ฆ sheโ€™s holding the rest of the mannequin. So I walk up, grab the limb while sheโ€™s looking around for another employee to help, hold it out to her and sayโ€ฆ

โ€œHere, let me give you a handโ€

She took it. No laughter. My wife? Nothing. So I am posting here in the hopes that my genius will be appreciated. Keep getting those dad jokes in the wild, folks.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nsk09003
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 09 2022
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What did Joan Baez say when she noticed her pantry was empty?

Where Have All The Flours Gone?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BrianDerm
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2023
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Seven has โ€œevenโ€ in it

Isnโ€™t that odd?

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2023
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An older man was lounging on the sofa one evening with his glasses off. His wife joined him, and began slowly running her fingers through his hair. After a few moments she said, โ€œYou know, honey, without your glasses on, you still look just like the young, handsome man I married 50 years agoโ€โ€ฆ

The husband replied, โ€œThanks honeyโ€ฆ Without my glasses on, so do you.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2021
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I was gonna make a joke about a really old plane

But I don't think it would fly today

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Coralthesequel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2023
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James Hetfield should open a mattress store...

...and call it, "Nothing Else Mattress".

๐ŸŽต So supportive no matter how soft,
Even better at thirty percent off, ๐ŸŽธ
๐Ÿฅ Free delivery if you don't live far,
At Nothing Else Mattress! ๐ŸŽ™๏ธ

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/megabits
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 02 2023
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My dad, his Tesla, and the cops (a true story)

My dad, who's in his 50's, bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to let her rip!

As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red & blue lights behind him. "There's no freakin' way they can catch a Tesla," he thought to himself. So he let her rip further. The needle hit 100, 120โ€ฆ then the reality of the situation hit him.

"What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, examined it, then said:

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

My dad thinks for a second then says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/professorf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 18 2022
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Not a Joke

Guys, I'm sorry this is not a joke. I'm here to turn in my dad card.

I turned down two pieces of pizza crust and fed them to the dog instead.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lisper41
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2023
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Why are motorcycles always so sleepy?

They are two tired.

My kids agreed this was wheely funny.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CapnFancyPants
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2022
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- the pessimist says โ€œmy glass is half emptyโ€

- the optimist says โ€œmy glass is half fullโ€

- the engineer says โ€œthe glass is twice as big as it needs to beโ€

- the existentialist asks โ€œwhich half?โ€

- the psychotic asks โ€œwho wants to know?โ€

- the conspiracy theorist says โ€œBill Gates has been drinking my drink!โ€

- the defence lawyer asks โ€œdo you have any witnesses that can prove that?โ€

- the politician says โ€œlets put a new tax on the remaining half, then give everyone a rebate of half that. That should encourage people to vote for us at the next election!โ€

- the math instructor says โ€œthe glass is 3.14159265359 multiplied by the radius squared times half the height fullโ€

- the childโ€™s parent says โ€œno dessert until you drink all of itโ€

- the crooked bartender says โ€œit looks full to me!โ€

- the sales executive says โ€œtoday only! half off!โ€

- the accountant says โ€œdo I get a 50% discount on the price?โ€

- Microsoft tech support says โ€œstart by closing all the windows in the room. Now empty the glass and re-fill it.โ€

- the lottery store clerk says โ€œgive me the contents of the glass for a one-in-a-billion chance to win 150 gallonsโ€

- the Indy car driver says โ€œyou have 12.3 seconds to re-fill it!!! GO!! GO!!โ€

- the police officer asks โ€œhow much of the glass did you drink this evening?โ€

- the magician says โ€œwatch me make the remaining half disappear!โ€

- the college instructor says โ€œokay, students, snap quiz: how full is the glass?โ€

- the glass manufacturer says โ€œproblem solved! introducing our new half-size glass!โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Turbo-R
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2023
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Once upon a time, there was a bird...

This was not any ordinary bird however, as he was able to speak and understand English at a perfect level. For quite a while, he didn't use it much to his advantage. He was content simply fluttering around and living peacefully with his bird wife.

But one day, tragedy struck! Our bird one day woke up to an empty nest, no bird kids, no bird wife, just him and some twigs.

He starts asking around his bird community, and eventually pieces together that his bird wife got tired of him and his lack of ambition. She took the bird kids and flew off to stay with her bird Mother.

Our bird was left with an overwhelming sense of listlessness, realizing that everything he had worked towards in his bird life was now gone.

Our bird, now destitute and lonely, decided he was tired of bird life, and wanted to use his English speaking ability to try something new.

He decides to fly into the nearest human town, and observe for a bit. He perched himself on a tree overlooking the main street of the town, and simply watched.

After an hour or two, he noticed several people heading into a building, one labelled as "Bar". He decides that if he wants to truly utilize his prowess of the English language, the best place to start is with other English speakers, so he flies down to the building and hops his way inside.

Our bird makes his way over the bar, hops up on a stool, and says "Hey bartender, can I get a drink?" The bartender and a few other people nearby notice that these words came out of a bird and are immediately and completely enthralled and bewildered by this sight.

The bartender saunters over and asks "Did you just ask for a drink? But you're a bird! I've never seen anything like this before, but if you want a drink I'm happy to oblige".

The bartender pours the bird some water, places it in front of him, and they start chatting. After realizing what was happening, every patron at the bar is standing around the bird, eager to get another peek at this otherworldly phenomenon. People ask the bird some questions, and the bird happily responds, informing them all of his plight and his goal to take full advantage of his gift. More people make their way to him, snapping pictures and videos to share with their friends. The bird loves all the attention and is more than happy to indulge each and every customer who comes up to him.

After a few hours, closing time rolls around. Most people make their way out of the bar, ecstatic to share their newfound memories with family an

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vasagle_gleblu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2023
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Meta: The sub of late

The first order of business is asking everyone to ease off the "I was going to tell a ____ joke, but..." format for a while. Too many are reporting those as reposts. I like them, but there is the "comedic rule of 3," so maybe we can lay off telling them for a while. That goes for various permutations of this setup as well. So let's try not to wear others' punderwear.

Next, we have an issue with too many reporting things that are not in violation of either our rules or site-wide rules, and falsely accusing power users and karma-getters of being spambots. Our overall policy is not to remove high-karma posts unless they are actual commercial spam or are told at the expense of marginalized groups (per Reddit's sitewide rule #1). Please do not use the Report button as a "super downvote."

Then, there probably needs to be a reminder to try avoiding the "one-joke" style of puns. I like them, but Reddit doesn't like them (sitewide rule #1) and they are outside our rules too (rule #7). I wish we could host those here as I find them funny, and I don't appreciate folks who are overly thin-skinned. The Reddit admins seem to have a zero-tolerance stance against such jokes/puns, even if there are no hateful motives underneath.

And of course, I want to remind the users here that they are just awesome! Without you, this sub would not be what it is.

If others want to make puns about this below, feel free! And as always, have fun!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Girl_Alien
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2023
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"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

No sun.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BillyBob_TX
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2022
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Rant: Listen, I live in Florida it's too soon for hurricane jokes the situation here is too serious

Would you please just let everything blow over first..

Edit/update:

First let me say that we fortunately weathered the storm well, some damage, not major.

I grew up with a humorous dad, and I appreciate how humor can alleviate stress. Most of you "got it", some of you didn't, some (few) were offended.

I grew up with a dad who taught me the appreciation of MAS*H where Hawkeye Pierce made jokes and quips in a horrible environment (war).

My dad even joked when he got Covid-19, a serious issue at his age, he first told me saying "I tested positive.. I'm pregnant"

That said I want to say Thank You to those that got it.

Riding out a hurricane is a scary and anxiety ridden experience. Each time you commented you made me smile, chuckle and sometimes laugh. It brought a bright spot to an otherwise scary night, if only for a moment it would take my mind off of the raging wind and rain at my door each of the hundreds of times my phone notification went off as this post "blew" up! I can only hope it did the same for others who appreciate humor the way that my dad taught me to.

Thanks r/dadjokes

Godspeed to those still battling this storm and those that will battle the results in the days and weeks to come.

As Jimmy Buffet once said "If we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sunbaked4u
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2022
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I went to the nucleus store

But the sign said "gone fission"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hidogpoopetuski
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2023
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Has to be the first Dad Joke I ever heard as a Kid..

It wasn't even a "joke" it was just a matter of speech. Thanks, Dad for starting me off.. still going strong for over 50 years.

Me: I'm hungry

Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sunbaked4u
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2023
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Dwarfism is not funny.

Itโ€™s a growing problem.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ May 06 2022
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I went on a date with girl and we got to talking about hobbies, she said she collected Monet paintings and would I like to see her collection.

I wasnโ€™t impressed.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Milsurpman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 11 2022
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My 10 Year Old "Dad Joked" Me This Weekend

He walked into my room and says, "Hey dad, can you take a picture of me?"

I thought it was a weird request, but said, "Sure."

As I'm reaching for my phone, he pulls out a framed picture of himself from behind his back he had taken off one of our shelves, hands it to me, and says, "Ok, thanks!" and walks out without even cracking a smile.

I stared at that picture for a few seconds in proud silence.

*edit/update* Wow... I woke up this morning and noticed a ton of notifications. This made my 10 year old very happy so thank you. And thank you for the awards as well. Totally unexpected and unnecessary but very appreciated.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/THaNaToS_J2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2022
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My wife says Iโ€™m the cheapest guy in the world

Iโ€™m not buying it

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tyler5060
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 18 2022
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I calculated 2+2 and got 5

So I said, "That's odd"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Devil_Ducks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 11 2022
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Make a birth control lotion that takes effect when you rub it in.

Call it Son-block.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 27 2022
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A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit theyโ€™re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. โ€œIโ€™d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,โ€ it says. โ€œSorry, but I canโ€™t serve you,โ€ the bartender replies. โ€œYouโ€™re out of your head.โ€

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. โ€œWe donโ€™t serve your kind here,โ€ the bartender says. โ€œWhy not?โ€ one yogurt asks. โ€œWeโ€™re cultured.โ€

A friend of mine didnโ€™t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heโ€™s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and thereโ€™s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, โ€œWhat are you staring at? Havenโ€™t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?โ€ The guy says, โ€œItโ€™s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.โ€

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, โ€œWhatโ€™s with the paper towel?โ€ The pirate says, โ€œArrr! Iโ€™ve got a Bounty on me head!โ€

A turtle is crossing the road when heโ€™s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, โ€œI donโ€™t know. It all happened so fast.โ€

Armed robbersโ€”some say theyโ€™re a drain on society, but youโ€™ve got to give it to them.

Barbersโ€ฆyou have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Donโ€™t forget the pickle. Itโ€™s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereโ€™s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisโ€ฆ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bugasum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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What do you call a scam artist who has a flesh-eating disease?

A Leper con ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dad_joker_af
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2022
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Long one but one of my favorites

Jesus is walking in Jerusalem when he sees Benjamin Goldstein, the robemaker.

โ€œExcuse me, Ben? I have been told that you are the man to see when you want to have robes that will last walking for miles and being touched by hundreds at a timeโ€

Goldstein ponders for a minute, then an idea comes to him. He makes Jesus the most beautiful robes ever made, all colors and the softest but most durable material Jesus had ever seen. Jesus was grateful and wandered off to give sermons.

About a year goes by, and Jesus finds his way back to Goldstein. โ€œPardon me, Ben? The robes you made me were magnificent, but as all good things do, these are now well worn. Can you make me another?โ€

Goldstein takes a moment to plan out his masterpiece, then proceeds to make a second robe that put the first robe to shame. It almost glowed in the sunlight. While delivering it, he told Jesus, โ€œyou know, since I made your last robes, I have seen more customers come through my doors than I could ever have hoped for, and Iโ€™m sure Iโ€™ll get even more from these ones! Hey, Jesus! We should start a company!โ€

Jesus inquired โ€œwhat should we call it?โ€

Goldstein shrugs and suggests, โ€œhow about Jesus and Goldsteinโ€™s robes?โ€

Jesus looks back and says, โ€œletโ€™s call it Lord and Tailorโ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wreckingjew
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2023
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All I got awarded for being voted Dentist of the Year was....

A little Plaque!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/berkleysquare
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2022
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I had been telling dad jokes to my friends all evening and decided to finish off with one big finale.

Here's my favorite part

https://imgur.com/a/4ZLAw

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jojo40605
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
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A family sat down to dinner...

They had prepared quite the spread with steak, corn, salad, and everyone had their own favorite side. The father had prepared his own signature spice blend and was encouraging everyone to try it. The son tried a little bit on his mac and cheese. Unfortunately he began coughing as it was too spicy, but was able to rinse it down with a bit of water and was fine.

The daughter didn't believe it could be as spicy as her brother claimed, so she put some of the spice blend on her mashed potatoes. She took a big bite and after a bit her face turned red and she began coughing and spluttering and went and got herself a glass of milk in order to help with the spiciness.

The mother laughed, knowing that the blend was spicy, but decided to try some anyway on her fries. She was conservative with her application, and could handle her spice better than her children so she thought she would be fine. And, if it weren't for a small bit of fry trying to go down the wrong pipe, causing her to cough, splutter and wheeze, she would have made it out unscathed.

Finally the father, after having witnessed that none of his family were able to master his own homemade spice blend, added it to every bit of his meal. The steak, the corn, his green beans and even his salad. He the requested some of each of the others' sides, and added the spices to some mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and fries as well. Then, to show he was not joking around, he added some hot sauce to top it all off. He began happily chowing down on every bit of it, completely unconcerned with the level of spice. He did not turn red, he did not cough, he did not splutter, he did not wheeze.

However, in his gusto to complete the meal, he was eating faster than he normal would and a half-chewed piece of steak unfortunately made it down the wrong pipe. His eyes went wide. Still, he did not cough, he did not splutter, he did not wheeze. But, he did begin to turn red. And then, he began to turn blue. Seeing that her husband was choking, the mother got up from the table and started trying to give the heimlich to the father. It didn't seem to be working until suddenly -- p-tooo, out came the piece of steak. Then the father coughed, spluttered and wheezed.

As he tried to regain his breath, his family heard that he was trying to say something between coughing fits. A 'thank you' to his wife, most likely. Or perhaps he was trying to say he should have slowed down and not eaten so fast to show them up. When he finally got

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SnooGuavas3403
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2022
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itโ€™s the 2024 presidential electionโ€ฆ

thereโ€™s three main candidates in the running. first is joe biden, looking to keep the presidency; second is donald trump, looking to take back the presidency, and lastly is obama, wearing a sombrero and a mustache, going by the nameโ€ฆ juan-bama. as the election results are tallied in, itโ€™s apparent that itโ€™s a perfect three-way tie in both the popular vote and the electoral college. the nation is in uproar, nobody can reach a decision as to how to choose the next president. but at last a solution comes forward: a literal presidential race. whoever can run the fastest lap around the white houseโ€”timed by a secret service memberโ€”will be sworn into office.

first up is donald trump. he boldly states โ€œthis will no doubt be the fastest lap around the white house, perhaps even the fastest lap run anywhere, ever,โ€ but, not being in the best shape, he takes 18 minutes and 34 seconds.

next is joe biden. he doesnโ€™t waste any breath for trash talk or boasting, he just readies himself at the starting line andโ€”at the countโ€”takes off. heโ€™s running fast, really fast for someone of his ageโ€ฆ at least for the first 5 minutes. but he forgets where heโ€™s going, and finishes his lap as a leisurely walk around the grounds, taking 26 minutes and 49 seconds.

lastly is juanbama, who runs like hell around the white house. heโ€™s running fast, faster than heโ€™d ever run before. he completes his lap, collapsing across the finish line, and looks up desperately at the secret service member. โ€œwhat was it?โ€ he asks. โ€œwhat was my time?โ€

the agent looks down at their stopwatch. โ€œtwelve oh-three.โ€

juanbama looks at them in disbelief. โ€œwell,โ€ he sputters, โ€œthatโ€™s got to be some sort of record!โ€

the secret service member shakes their head. โ€œno, actually. bush did nine eleven.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DarkWing2274
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 21 2022
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What dadjoke that youโ€™ve seen on this subreddit, has gotten the best reaction?

For me itโ€™s not even close:

โ€œWhat do you call an Irisman whoโ€™s bouncing off the walls?

Rick Oโ€™Sheaโ€

No matter who I tell that one too - old or young - they love it! Whatโ€™s your go-to dadjoke that you canโ€™t wait to tell to someone who hasnโ€™t heard it?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JAG23
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2022
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How do fish get high

With seaweed

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/syththeultimate
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2022
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Asked my son about his day at school, he came up with an awesome joke.

Me: Hey son, how was your day?

Son: Not that good.

Me, genuinely concerned: Why?

Son: Apparently, I didnt do enough?

Me, even more concerned: Why? What happened?

Son: Nothing, I just have to go back tomorrow.

Edit: Formatting, and he told me off as I didn't include the word 'apparrently'.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mergingcultures
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 23 2022
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