In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.

Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.

However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnakehoundXE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.

Gonna call it Poi, Son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarofcomics77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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The ancient Romans made a lot of deadly poisons. The fourth one they created, however, just made people itchy.

They called it poison IV

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I was going to use this mushroom to poison someone

But it's a morel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaldingMonk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you say if you find a person trying to poison someone with celiacs disease

I’ve caught you bread handed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaOwl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Why'd the chef get poison ivy?

He needed an itch to cook from scratch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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I tried to cheat during my jog by taking a shortcut through some bushes, but I didn’t realize it was poison ivy...

That was a rash decision.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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I took a shortcut through some bushes, but didn’t realize I was walking into poison ivy...

That was a rash decision.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I think my friend who owns the apiary got into some poison ivy or something during a hike in the woods...

He has hives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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I licked some poison that instantly produces amnesia.

Can't remember its name, but it just was on the tip of my tongue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuneFox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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Why didn’t the man die when he drank poison?

He was in the living room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/James-Kinley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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There is a clear difference between a poison dart frog and a bullfrog.

As if it wasn't obvious enough...

They're two toad-ally different things!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ecquid-indignius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Poison girls.

Hello Boys and Girls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rivennnnnnnn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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2 puns, 1 post. Resistol (resist all) poison. This type of hat is called a Cattleman, hence the name β€œThe Rattleman”
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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After having an allergic reaction to poison ivy I decided not to get it treated...

man have I made a rash decision

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfkas10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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My wife offered me some benadryl for my poison ivy, but I told her I'd have to think about it.

I don't want to make any rash decisions right away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pseudoorbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Why was Batman not attracted to Poison Ivy?

Because of her breasts-in-plants

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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Andy's aunt on The Andy Griffith Show got poison ivy on her arm and all she did was complain...

She was Bee-itchy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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What do you call a room that's littered full of mouse traps and poison cheese?

Mouseschwitz...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GDRexRacer77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Why did the woman who wanted to poison her husband, cross the road?

To get to the other cyanide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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Did you guys hear about the new Oxygen-Potassium based poison?

Scientists were really worried about it at first, but then realized it was O K.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnyxSwangin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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My wife asked me to spray ant poison

I didn't do it because I didn't want my uncle to feel bad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thekolin99
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
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My friend said the poison cover he put on his mattress didn't kill the bugs.

I asked if he tried this.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Novawurmson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2016
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Dadjoked by my boss after I sprayed ant poison all around the building...

Boss: I'm gonna call this spray 'Pink Panther'.

Me: Why?

Boss: Dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-aaaaaaaaant!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobby_Orrs_Knees
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
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