I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
What’s an egg’s LEAST favorite drug?

Crack!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
Bought some shoes from my drug dealer

I don't know what the hell he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatPaddyHaugen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What did the lab technician say to the inventory specialist who showed up for a drug test?

We need UP, C?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWolfEmperor82
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
Where's the best place to hide drugs in space?

Uranus.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danyodaddyo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping' all day

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sickycrimson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
Bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don't know what they laced it with,but I've been trippin' all day

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
My drug dealer was arrested, so a friend recommended I buy from a guy named Eclipse.

After meeting, I didn’t buy anything from him.. He seemed a little shady.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pirate720
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
What's the similarity between a person with rheumatism and a high school drug dealer

They both have bad joints

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PocketGlove1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
You'd never believe that Hank Hill quit his job at Strickland to become a drug dealer

He now sells cocaine and cocaine accessories

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
Did you all hear about the drug bust at the bug spray factory?

Police said it was the greatest Raid ever!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kremitthegorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
What was the number one drug prescribed by psychiatrists in 2020?

Enemas, people needed to just let some shit go.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrono_bound20xx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
Never trust a shoe salesman who doubles as a drug dealer

As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0DEWzard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What do drug addicts and pharaohs have in common?

De Nile

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dumnem
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
What do you call a smart drug abuser?

An oxymoron!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pirate on drugs?

Crack Sparrow

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/natopotatomusic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
How can you tell a train conductor is a drug addict?

The track marks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Baldeagle77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don’t know what he laced em with, but I was trippin all day.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m8tt_4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today

I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping the whole day.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tzlt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
What kind of drugs do ducks take ?

Quack

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
A bird addicted to drugs goes to their dealer.

Trying to get their fix, they buy a quaailude.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoChips23415
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
🚨︎ report
What does a duck say to the drug dealer

He says β€œwhere’s the quack”.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theBAFFFFFFFFF69
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
What's a chef's favourite drug?

Pot

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
I knew a drug addict that was so desperate for a high he snorted curry powder. Got really ill and taken to hospital.

He was put in an induced korma.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDobble
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
We went to a national park yesterday and they told us at the gate that there's no drug or alcohol in the park

I told them that it was ok, we brought our own.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mesoposty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
What do a drug dealer and a comedian have in comon.

They both crack people up.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sombody_somwere
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
Has your ping been on drugs?

Because it's REAL HIGH.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
What's a duck's Favorite Drug

Quack

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/im9999999999
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My drug dealer is a funny guy.

He cracks me up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Warned my son about the dangers of drugs today. Told him a story about a girl I knew who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time. Surprised, he asked, "Really?" I replied, "Yes, absolutely true."

"She became a little spore addict."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, not sure what he laced them with...

But I was trippin all day!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Why do younever buy a pair of shoes from a drug dealer?

Because you don't know what he laces them with and you'll be tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 338
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mob hitman who only kills low-level drug dealer?

A weed whacker.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanthemute
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
What is something that a drug addict and a duck does?

quack

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Drug dealers these days...
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlashG1080
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
I just bought these new shoes from a shady drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
I bought shoes from a drug dealer

I’m not sure what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rafapex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Police caught me stashing drugs under the bed

I’m now being put under a rest

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoAteMyBananana
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
What drugs do French people use to get high?

Oui’d

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A1if
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
I bought shoes from a drug dealer one time

Idk what he laced them with, I was tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Futurepimpdaddy
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from my drug dealer

And I don't know what he laced them with, i'm tripping all day

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.

They're leaving no tern unstoned.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
In high school, I never went to those anti-drug programs.

I didn't D.A.R.E.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
I recently bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer

Not sure what he laced them with but i have been tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onli-Wan-Kenoli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
a drug dealer is selling drugs

a woman and a man walk up to him
she then says "weed like some"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Larryfacejr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a Marsupial on drugs makes you a delicious drink out of hot water and plants?

High Koala Tea

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cuffbox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
Drug cartels have been turning to toilet paper instead of narcotics for profits.

I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
What did the drug addict text his girlfriend?

Send ludes.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoHandedShanks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
Drug Talk

Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs

Me: Ok but i talk a lot of shit when I’m high

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JM-Vlogs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
It should’ve had a steak on drugs
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LuanGaff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't do drugs kids
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nocturnal1401
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.

I'm not sure what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Knightstar76
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Drugs are never the answer.

But it is a five letter clue for a crossword puzzle.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Octopus addicted to drugs?

A crack-en

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
I got these shoes from my drug dealer

I don’t know what he laced them with but I’m trippin’

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brbsmith916
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What drug is illegal in the ocean

Sea weed

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Luigigamer74002
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't balloons do drugs.

If they get to high they'll get busted

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jojoquin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I just bought new shoes from my drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin all day.

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Father_Davinci
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call an orchestra on drugs?

contra-band

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/excalibur039
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
I just bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the-caped-cadaver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you give a boat drugs?

A speedboat

[Disclaimer]: I don’t encourage the use of drugs

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Miloklaas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
A barber near me got arrested for selling drugs.... I've been his customer for years...

I never knew he was a barber...

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Necr1s_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
I passed a drug test today...

And I didn't even study for it!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krombopulos137
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from my drug dealer today.

I don't know what he laced it with, but I've been tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/basherblade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?

Me: But I talk shit when I'm high

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don’t know what he laced it with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coolman965
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pilot on drugs?

A high flier.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sky5598
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the professional skier who started to use performance enhancing drugs?

He went downhill real fast.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RicoCat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealNumber44
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
what types of drugs do sea creatures consume?

seaweed!!

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/magicshopp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of drugs do ducks do

Quack

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AceCamoMaster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you guys see that Lionel Messi was detained in Barcelona with a duffel bag full of drugs?

They’re calling him Methi now

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaybadger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Did I tell you about the shoes I bought from my old drug dealer?

I dont know what they were laced with but I was tripping allll day

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sirlukewatson6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What did the forgetful genius say to the drug dealer? /user/am_I_right_or_what/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dictionary on drugs

Addictionary

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlfieTreacy69420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 206
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elisxdd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
What’s an egg’s LEAST favorite drug?

Crack!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pirate on drugs?

Crack Sparrow

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/natopotatomusic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I bought shoes from a drug dealer

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
I once bought shoes from a drug dealer...

I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day

πŸ‘︎ 358
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTonz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I was tripping all day!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was trippin’ all day.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkerhubbin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer the other day...

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OriginGodYog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
I experimented in high school with drugs and sex.

I was part of the control group.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_hate_p_values
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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