My wife left me for a tractor salesman, and she didn't even tell me in person.

She just wrote me a John Deere letter.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
Ive never used a tractor before

So when my teacher told me to use a protractor I had no clue what i was doing

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/windowpaner69
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaan_Man
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My wife took off with a tractor salesman.

Left me with a John Deere Letter.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbett311
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onefoot19toes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It drove 2 miles down the road and turned into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Great_Hobos_Beard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling β€œThe end is near!”

I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
why was the cow pissed with the tractor in a race ?

cause it was mooving faster than it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/newdudeonblock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
A magic tractor drives down the road...

and turns into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sherlock7337
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
What did the tractor tire say to the bicycle tire?

I'm kind of a big wheel.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkaholic415
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, β€œTHE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!”

It might be farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the party held for devices used to weigh tractor trailers' loads?

It was a large scale celebration.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Hey - where's my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/morkeleb878
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the story about the magical tractor?

It turned into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDemonPants
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I used to like tractors...

Now I'm an extractor fan.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabbitsdiedaily
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the one about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pdarigan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

Where is my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tronkfool
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling, β€œRepent! The End is nigh!”

I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road and turned into a field!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
As a farmer, your tractor dying while harvesting isn't all bad.

You can tell people you are outstanding in your field.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsmydouginabox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a good looking tractor?

Attractor

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field!

An oldie but a goodie.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WellysBoot
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who doesn't like tractors any more?

An extractor fan

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SundayBunDay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Tom absolutely loves tractors

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys were gone with the wind at this point, as Tom spent all his waking hours playing with this one tractor toy.

Fast forward a few years, and Tom's now approaching his 10th birthday, with his love for tractors intact and intensified. His parents discuss what to get for him, and decide that a ride-on tractor to replace his bike is the best gift they can give him.

Tom absolutely loves the gift, and spends all of his time out of school riding around the neighbourhood while his bike collects dust in the garage.

We come forward a few more years, as Tom approaches his 18th birthday, with an only intensified adoration of tractors. His father pulls him aside on the morning of his birthday, saying "Now son, I know that we've promised you a car, but we know what you really want."

He leads him outside, to a brand new tractor with a bow on it, saying that this is his welcome to adulthood.

Tom is beyond excited, and spends the next few months going everywhere in his tractor - grocery trips, bars, classes, friends' houses.....

Again, a few years later, Tom is driving down a back country road, in the middle of nowhere, with his tractor, in the middle of a storm. The tractor breaks down, and with no air conditioning or any form of modern comforts, Tom is in a miserable mood until someone finally comes past for him to flag down for help. After this, Tom realises that although tractors are fun, maybe they're not the best transport method out there.

Tom ages through a few more years, and finds himself driving down another road in the middle of nowhere in his car, and sees a house on fire just off the road. Being a good samaritan, he pulls over and heads up the driveway to a woman running out of the house screaming "Please, help, help! My baby is trapped in there! Go and call 911, please!"

Tom turns around, then, before leaving, has a brainwave.

He turns back and walks towards the flames, saying "Don't worry, ma'am, I've got this."

He takes a deep breath in, and the fire disappears into nothingness. As you'd expect, the woman is in awe, and asks, "Oh my God, how did you do that?!"

Tom simply responds, "Well you see ma'am, I'm an extractor fan."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurarkt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer keep putting spools of thread into the gas tank of his tractor?

Someone told him it was a sowing machine.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say while looking for his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledust465
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the magic tractor?

After driving down the lane, it turned into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did ya hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TehFuzziest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A bloke on a tractor just drove past and shouted β€œthe end of the world is nigh”

I think it was farmer geddon

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It rode down the hill and turned into a field

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PuddlesTheDolphin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night, my neighbor got on his tractor and started yelling, β€œThe end is near!!”

I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor?

Every morning it turned into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Neti-Neti-Neti
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend the farmer traded his tractor for a flock of seabirds...

He's so gull-able!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to like tractors but I don't like them anymore.

I guess you could call me an extractor fan.

(Taken from r/3amjokes by u/Suave_Sidd, the crossposting doesn't work)

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntn_98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me yelling "the end of the world nigh!"

I think it was Farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yer-Da
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
A magic tractor drove down the road ...

and turned into a field!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor

It turned into a field

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theProbablyPolicy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/forest-of-ewood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyesandheart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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