I thought, this takes me back
because I'd take her top off every chance I got
And he told me that the first thing he did in that truck was perform cunnalingus on his girlfriend.
Frankly, I'm just Gladiator.
Easy, they used fossil fuel.
You’re a dumbass
"I like your new Jeep, but it's broken." I look at him confused. "It's in the parking lot pointing west. Shouldn't Compasses always point north?"
I text my step dad that the Jeep is currently in the air right now (they suspend it on a track so they can check the exhaust system) His response "Don't let it float away!"
They were talking about our 16th president. Dad looks at me and said "do you think Abe Lincoln would have driven a jeep?" I look at him puzzled..then he says "I think he would have driven a Lincoln!"
dad: "dont bother locking the doors"
My dad goes, "This is a wheel pain in the ass."
http://m.imgur.com/fStx54M he's gone full dad now after 61 years
For my black jeep...
So this is a true story.
I work a retail job. My friend neglected to properly put his Mustang in park in his space. It moved backwards across the lot and in to a customer's Jeep Grand Cherokee. Luckily for him, the damage was not serious.
Unlucky for him, all of my coworkers (and a few customers) proceeded to mercilessly roast him on the showroom floor.
Looking to me to defend him, he asked, "why don't you back me up?"
I said: "Back up seems to be the last thing you need, I'd just learn to roll with it, you might say I'm pretty neutral..."
We're supposed to go pick up a jeep in his truck and I wanted to make sure the trailer wiring was the same for his newer truck
Jamaica? No she went of her own accord
She was rolling in the Jeep.
I said, "Bro, that's Jeep"
For my black Jeep.
He was trying to get it dirt "jeep"
Anytime I would start to fall asleep while my dad was driving the back country roads. He would yell hay startling me and as soon as I gained my composer and I would ask "What?" And he would than point at a hay bail and say there is some hay over there.
Fast forward 8 or so years and I was riding in the back of are jeep with my dad and Papa (he doesn't like being called grampa) all of the sudden my papa yells son and my dad slams on the brakes in a panic asking what's wrong. He(papa) than casually points at the sun and says the suns out.
He was at my house and my cousin showed up with her new Jeep Compass - this detail is important.
So she shows up with it, and a few minutes later after showing it off, he goes "When you're in it, you can't get lost."
He's not a father either
I was driving my sister home earlier today and there was this guy on the highway driving an off road jeep and smoking a cigar. She went to take a picture.
Her: I almost got it, but he turned too soon
Me: It was close?
Her: yeah, you can't see that he's smoking
Me: so no cigar?
My jeep has quite the ant problem so I got some Terro Ant killer. My girlfriend asked if it actually was actually going to work since she is tired of getting bitten. I said "It doest't work to well on uncles but the ants will definitely be gone." She was not amused as always.
I had to get the tires on my jeep changed, and my wheel locks broke, so they needed to replace the locking nuts. I had a box of lug nuts in the back, so I grabbed it, handed it to the mechanic and said "go nuts!" And laughed the whole way back to the waiting room.