Willy Wonka's everlasting jobstopper.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
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︎ Jul 27 2020
You've heard of Wooly Willy, now get ready for...
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Free Willy
My 9 year old daughter upon seeing the movie Free Willy available on Netflix: Dad, what's Free Willy about?
Me: Freeing Willy
The look she gave me about made me want to to die hahaha.
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︎ Jan 12 2020
What does Willy Wonka use to keep his factory clean?
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︎ Mar 20 2019
Willy Wonka's chocolate factory has been closing early a lot lately.
Maybe they're short staffed.
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︎ Mar 28 2019
A Willy walks up to a wishing well...
...He leans into it and says, "I said Pianist! PIANIST!"
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︎ Mar 25 2019
I had that awkward, "How come your willy is so much bigger than mine?" conversation with my son in the bathroom this morning...
He said, "I don't know, dad, I'm only three!"
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︎ Jan 20 2018
My Dad sent me this text out of the blue...I'm still not sure why he was watching Willy Wonka though.
"I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and it gave me a craving for a chocolate bar so I went and bought one. This is probably why I should stop watching Breaking Bad."
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︎ Sep 17 2013
What do you do to a dead Willy Wonka?
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︎ Feb 16 2018
"We can't just let people dump oil on the sides of hills willy nilly!"
Beginning of a Slippery Slope argument.
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︎ Sep 27 2017
I gave my girlfriend a wet willy
She got annoyed, so I asked "what's wrong? Are you ear-itated?"
Got a vocal laugh, and was promptly told that it wasn't funny.
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︎ Jul 27 2016
What kind of dog did Willy Wonka have?
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︎ Apr 05 2017
Today's label making craft was inspired by the OG spicy boi himself, Bruce Willis.
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︎ May 11 2021
I can't stop thinking about Bruce willis movies. I guess old habits
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Have you heard the news? Willie Nelson died this morning.
He was playing on the road again.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Tragic news! Bruce Willis has died while on viagra medication.
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︎ Mar 05 2021
Willie Nelson got hit by a car
He was playing on the road again
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︎ Mar 03 2021
The other day I had a friend ask me what I thought about Bruce Willis
Told him I'm a Die Hard fan
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Stayed in a hotel with a gay ghost last night
It really put the willy's up me....
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︎ May 20 2021
Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg have decided to record an album together.
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Incase you were wondering what Willie Nelson's full name REALLY is,
It's "Willie Nilly Nelson"
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Did you hear about that famous chocolate factory owner who suffered from a penis accident?
He's known as Willy Wonky.
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︎ Apr 22 2021
What would Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg do if they met?
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︎ Dec 19 2019
My friend is elated that Bruce Willis is coming to his college to give a talk...
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︎ Nov 21 2019
Do you know why Bruce Willis is a hobbit?
Because old hobbits die hard.
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︎ Feb 21 2020
I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Do you think Bruce Willis will always make action movies?
Because you know what they say about old habits. They...
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Willis Carrier invented air conditioning....
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︎ Feb 05 2017
What did Bruce Willis say when he saw an asteroid heading for earth?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
My wife told me to stop making references to Bruce Willis films
I told her, βSorry babe, old habits Die Hard.β
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︎ Apr 01 2019
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
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︎ Oct 17 2019
Willie Itule Produce, Yeah Iβd Only Hope Around my Produce.
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︎ Jan 03 2019
Willie Lump Lump and the Mongoose
Many years ago, Β Red Skelton Β told the following joke using his inebriate character, Willie Lump Lump.
Willie explained to the young lady, βI keep a mongoose in my coat pocket. Β That way, when I go home after drinking, and there are snakes all over the lawn of my yard, I let the mongoose loose and he kills them all, so itβs safe for me to enter the house.β
The young woman sadly tried to explain, βIβve got news for you, Mr. Lump Lump, those snakes are imaginary!β
Willie Lump Lump replied, βIβve got news for Β you, so is the mongoose!β
http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/willie-lump-lump-and-the-mongoose/
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︎ Sep 05 2019
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
The fifth one was dead sirius.
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︎ Nov 08 2019
A Wet Willie
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︎ Jan 26 2019
When God was handing out brains
I thought he said trains and I missed mine
When he was handing out noses
I thought he said roses so I asked for a big red one
and he gave it me too
When he was handing out willies
I thought he said chillies
So I asked for a small hot one
Please add more below.......................
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Willie Nelson got into a terrible accident, but thankfully is ok.
He got high and was playing On the road Again..
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︎ Dec 08 2018
If Bruce Willis was a tree he would be named Spruce Willis
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︎ Jul 19 2014
Did ya hear? Willie Nelson died.
He was playing on the road again.
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︎ Apr 26 2020
People asked me to stop naming Bruce Willis movies...
But you know what they say, old habits pulp fiction.
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︎ Jan 16 2019
Did you see Bruce Willis overdosed on Viagra?
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︎ Aug 20 2019
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
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︎ Aug 04 2018
Bruce Willis will probably star in action movies for the rest of his career.
You know what they say about old habits...
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︎ Dec 04 2017
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