You've heard of Wooly Willy, now get ready for...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
Free Willy
My 9 year old daughter upon seeing the movie Free Willy available on Netflix: Dad, what's Free Willy about?
Me: Freeing Willy
The look she gave me about made me want to to die hahaha.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 12 2020
What does Willy Wonka use to keep his factory clean?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 20 2019
Willy Wonka's chocolate factory has been closing early a lot lately.
Maybe they're short staffed.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 28 2019
A Willy walks up to a wishing well...
...He leans into it and says, "I said Pianist! PIANIST!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 25 2019
I had that awkward, "How come your willy is so much bigger than mine?" conversation with my son in the bathroom this morning...
He said, "I don't know, dad, I'm only three!"
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 20 2018
What do you do to a dead Willy Wonka?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 16 2018
My Dad sent me this text out of the blue...I'm still not sure why he was watching Willy Wonka though.
"I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and it gave me a craving for a chocolate bar so I went and bought one. This is probably why I should stop watching Breaking Bad."
π︎ 108
π
︎ Sep 17 2013
"We can't just let people dump oil on the sides of hills willy nilly!"
Beginning of a Slippery Slope argument.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 27 2017
I gave my girlfriend a wet willy
She got annoyed, so I asked "what's wrong? Are you ear-itated?"
Got a vocal laugh, and was promptly told that it wasn't funny.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 27 2016
What kind of dog did Willy Wonka have?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 05 2017
The other day I had a friend ask me what I thought about Bruce Willis
Told him I'm a Die Hard fan
π︎ 40
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
Incase you were wondering what Willie Nelson's full name REALLY is,
It's "Willie Nilly Nelson"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg have decided to record an album together.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
Did ya hear? Willie Nelson died.
He was playing on the road again.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
What would Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg do if they met?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 19 2019
When God was handing out brains
I thought he said trains and I missed mine
When he was handing out noses
I thought he said roses so I asked for a big red one
and he gave it me too
When he was handing out willies
I thought he said chillies
So I asked for a small hot one
Please add more below.......................
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
Do you know why Bruce Willis is a hobbit?
Because old hobbits die hard.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 21 2020
My friend is elated that Bruce Willis is coming to his college to give a talk...
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
Do you think Bruce Willis will always make action movies?
Because you know what they say about old habits. They...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
What did Bruce Willis say when he saw an asteroid heading for earth?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Did you see Bruce Willis overdosed on Viagra?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
People asked me to stop naming Bruce Willis movies...
But you know what they say, old habits pulp fiction.
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
My wife told me to stop making references to Bruce Willis films
I told her, βSorry babe, old habits Die Hard.β
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 01 2019
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
The fifth one was dead sirius.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
Willie Lump Lump and the Mongoose
Many years ago, Β Red Skelton Β told the following joke using his inebriate character, Willie Lump Lump.
Willie explained to the young lady, βI keep a mongoose in my coat pocket. Β That way, when I go home after drinking, and there are snakes all over the lawn of my yard, I let the mongoose loose and he kills them all, so itβs safe for me to enter the house.β
The young woman sadly tried to explain, βIβve got news for you, Mr. Lump Lump, those snakes are imaginary!β
Willie Lump Lump replied, βIβve got news for Β you, so is the mongoose!β
http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/willie-lump-lump-and-the-mongoose/
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
Willis Carrier invented air conditioning....
π︎ 583
π
︎ Feb 05 2017
Willie Itule Produce, Yeah Iβd Only Hope Around my Produce.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 03 2019
A Wet Willie
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 26 2019
Willie Nelson got into a terrible accident, but thankfully is ok.
He got high and was playing On the road Again..
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 08 2018
If Bruce Willis was a tree he would be named Spruce Willis
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 19 2014
In 1902 Willis Carrier invented the first modern air conditioner
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 01 2018
Did you hear about the Bruce Willis movie where his power is to put smashed dishes back together?
Summer 2019 - "Unbreak-a-bowl" coming to a theater near you!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 05 2018
Sad news today. Music icon and legend Willie Nelson has died in a tragic accident.
He was playing on the road again.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 29 2018
Sadly Willie Nelson was hit by a bus. He was playing on the road again.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 26 2017
Just heard this: I don't see an end to Bruce Willis's action career.
You know... Old habits Die Hard!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 07 2018
Hollywood is going to make an action movie about the great composers.
Sylvester Stallone said "I'll be Beethoven".
Bruce Willis said "I'll be Mozart".
Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach".
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 26 2020
How does Prince Harry's brother make his sandwiches?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 18 2020
I like to call my testicles βwonkasβ
Theyβre between a willy and a chocolate factory
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 16 2020
Did you hear that Willie Nelson got ran over by a car?
he was playing on the road again.... insert dad laughing at own joke here
π︎ 162
π
︎ Jul 30 2013
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
π︎ 48
π
︎ Aug 04 2018
Bruce Willis will probably star in action movies for the rest of his career.
You know what they say about old habits...
π︎ 45
π
︎ Dec 04 2017
I am a die hard Bruce Willis fan.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 13 2015
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
