My grandpa pointed to a flock of geese and said, β€œdo you know why their v formation is uneven?”

Because there’s more on one side

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trevorulz
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Flock of Seagulls travel to the Middle East?

Because Iran’s so far away.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_big_fat_dump
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
"Look at that flock of cows"

"Herd of cows"

"Course I have, I go there every year for the regatta"

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/widmerpool_nz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
The Franciscan priest left the monastery to start a flower shop, but before he could open, a flock of sheep in the village got loose and trampled him to death.

Only ewes can prevent florist friars.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silverjaydog
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the farmer yell to the shepherds who ran away after their flocks ate all his grass?

You cow herds!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsh921
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
New clients will flock to these guys
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jstarj
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Here's a joke about a man and his flock of sheep.

Stop me if you've herd it before.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Findrel_Underbakk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I was attacked by a flock of sheep and was sent to the hospital...

Luckily, I was only grazed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InevitableBobcat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and I were hunting when we scared up a flock of mallards and geese. They farted as they flew away...

"That was fowl," I told my son.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend the farmer traded his tractor for a flock of seabirds...

He's so gull-able!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I think A Flock of Seagulls were really just trying to tell everyone how far it was to the country...

I hope their wings don't get too tired on the trip. I know I know... I'll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditInThe90s
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.

May he rest in fleece.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheephound
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why could the flock of female sheep never remember anything? /r/Jokes/comments/f3aoj0/…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patchy72
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do birds stick together as a flock?

Velcrow

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tims1737
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Driving through farmland with the family, my dad randomly says β€œHey look! A whole flock of cows!” My uncle corrects him: β€œHerd of cows...”

Dad: β€œOf course I’ve heard of cows! Look! They’re all over the damn place!”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brik5ean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened to the crows that unsuccessfully tried to form a flock? [OC]

They were charged with attempted murder.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nrith
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What country does the guy from A Flock of Seagulls not want to visit?

Iran.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/celloninja7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Kylo Wren and the rest of his flock [x-post /r/starwars] imgur.com/caQEIcA
πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoobyBear22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
🚨︎ report
A Sheppard came home from a long day tending his flock.

As soon as he comes through the door his wife excitedly tells him "Henry! You would never believe it! The sheep have formed a Jazz band! Isn't that great?!"

Henry, annoyed, replies "I know Mary, I fucking heard them."

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmacker14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
🚨︎ report
I was walking home and passed by a flock of noisy birds

It was a cacawphony

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarMMP
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long....

At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buggaboobooy
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A flock of geese flew on to my back porch yesterday

I guess you could say they were Portuguese

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingkian77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crow planning a flock

Attempted murder

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Vulcan17-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Once considered to be holding funerals near a dead crow, now evidence indicates that crows may be examining the body and surrounding area for potential threats to the flock.

It's a murder investigation.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I drove threw a flock of seagulls the other day. One of them hit my bumper, flew over my car and struck and police car behind me.

I got arrested for flipping him the bird.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What should you do when you encounter a Flock of Seagulls?

You run, you run so far away.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AkumaXshoguN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Look kids - a flock of cows (IRL)

"Dad, it's not a flock of cows."

"OK, a pride of cows then"

"Not that either, why are you so lame?"

"I dunno, a gaggle of cows?"

"Dad, it's a herd of cows. Herd of cows!"

"Course I've heard of cows. Look at that gaggle over there"

Was much harder work than expected.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BXCellent
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I want a flock of ducks to work for me.

I hope that it works out well. I'm afraid I won't have the skills to pay the bills.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxethOGrady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2015
🚨︎ report
I use this one whenever I see a flock of geese flying overhead. It gets a groan every time. imgur.com/ZfWkpDh
πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malarson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Why won't a flock of seagulls migrate to Persia?

Because of Iran. Iran so far away.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/borgenhaust
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Flock of Cows

Dad- Look over there, a flock of cows! Me- You mean a herd of cows? Dad- Sure I "heard" a cow, there's a whole flock of them over there!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x-bot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
🚨︎ report
A flock of buffalo

Dad: there used to be a flock of buffalo here

Me: a herd of buffalo

Dad: yes I've herd of buffalo too

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silentdon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Saw a flock of geese going overhead...

Dad said "Wanna know why one side of the V is longer than the other? There's more geese on that side!"

Ya got me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RianonFTW
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the giant bird they kicked out of the flock?

I understand he was ostrich-sized.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorRed
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
🚨︎ report
"Hey, look at that flock of cows!"

"Herd."

"What?"

"Herd of cows."

"Of course I've heard of cows, there's a flock of them right there!"

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was with my friends and then we saw some cows, so I said "hey look! A flock of cows!"

My friend said "a herd of cows" "of course I've heard of cows, look there's a flock of them over there!" I never saw those men again...

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyanCharizard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Look! A flock of cows!

"Herd' of cows, Dad."

"Of course I've heard of cows. Look, there's a whole flock!"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twogreen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Driving with my son and we pass a farm. I point out the flock of cows. He turns to me and says "Dad it's a herd of cows"

Heard of cows, of course I heard of cows. I just pointed out a flock of them.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chefdumbdumb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: Look, Lizzy, there's a flock of cows standing in the field!

Lizzy: Herd of cows, dad.

Dad: Herd of 'em? There's a whole flock over there!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThingyYeet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Flock of cows

"Look son a flock of cows"

"No, it's a herd of cows"

"Course I've heard of cows, there's a flock of them right there"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swirIingarcher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
While watching a flock of geese flying overhead in a V formation.

My Dad says, "Son, do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other?" I said, "No Dad, why?" He deadpans, "More geese on that side."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParkingLotRanger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2015
🚨︎ report

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