Furiously honks car horn in the middle of no where without a car in sight.
Kids: looks up from their phones, “why did you do that for?”
Dad: “to scare away the elephants!”
Kids: “what elephants?!!”
Dad: “see it’s working!”
——
Thank you! Thank you very much!
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
There are many wonderful moments and beautiful sights when raising a child.
But the sight of your daughter stealing the last piece of chicken is truly breast taking.
As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.
As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y
When fencing, my friend acted like he collapsed unconscious from fright upon sight of his opponent's epee...
He feinted.
My girlfriend was born without her little toe and the sight of her foot makes me physically ill.
My therapist said I'm lack toes intolerant.
I had to walk 50 miles to get to my home. There, I saw a welcoming sight.
It was the mat on my front stoop.
I’ve got a rare sight disorder from watching Mary Poppins too many times... it called umdiddleyumdiddleyumdiddley eye.
A blind guy goes into the closing store, grabs his dog by the tail and begins to spin. A worker shocked by the sight asked "sir may i help you please". The guy smiles and says.
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz-sight.
Has anyone seen my glasses. I've managed to loose sight of them.
A.. beautiful sight. We're... happy... tonight.
I was talking to my boyfriend about difficult it was for my band to sight read sheet music by Stevie Wonder.
He said "of course it's hard, he was blind you know!"
What do you call an atom with good sight?
An eye-sotope
According to the catholic church, Popeye has blessed sight.
He has Pope eyes.
In Heinz sight, the sign wasn't a great idea.
https://i.imgur.com/4p6xf5X.jpg
I'm going to move to Canada and become a Guru for Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste and Touch...
I'll be a Sense-eh!
Legally Blind Man Throws in a Dad Joke After Gaining his Sight Back (Video)
"What's it like Mark?" "Eye Opening" http://youtu.be/3BtKgD6CeA8?t=48s
