A man walks into the library and asks, "Do you have any books on poor eyesight."
"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.
I heard Paul lost his eyesight in the Bible
He never Saul Jesus coming
I’m really having trouble with my eyesight
The worst of it is that I can’t see my optimitrist
As I get older and my eyesight gets worse, I can only think of one thing:
When will I get adult super vision?
I used to have bad eyesight
But now all I see is 2020
Throughout 2019, I have been working on perfecting my eyesight.
What kind of vitamin improves your eyesight?
I heard that windows are starting to lose their eyesight.
I think my eyesight is going bad.
I walked into my livingroom earlier and saw my bunny laying on the rug, but she was all fuzzy.
Got really bad eyesight, but at the end of this year I’ll get eye surgery to improve my vision, so hopefully next year it will be...
What happens to blind fish after getting eyesight back?
Did you know that your eyesight actually gets better as you get older?
It's called adult supervision.
What’s the difference between a constipated owl and a sniper with a bad eyesight ?
One can hoot but can’t shit while the other can shoot but can’t hit.
Most people don't know that in order to be a programmer your eyesight must be correctable to 20/20.
You have to be able to C#.
Doc said my eyesight was getting really bad...
told him to just wait a year as it would be 2020!
An old man with failing eyesight fell into a well...
He couldn't see that well
What do you call a vampire losing their eyesight?
I'm 35, I got kids and I swear my eyesight is worsening.
I thought I was supposed to get my adult supervision by now! :-(
Perfect Eyesight
Dad: Wow, it's already 2014. Heck, in six years, everybody will have perfect eyesight!
Me: Why's that?
Dad: It'll be 2020!
When you walk into wood, and your eyesight's no good...
I always hear about "adult supervision", but I still have roughly the same eyesight as when I was a kid. When do I get the grownup super-powered vision?
What's the best drink for your eyesight?
What do you call an egg dish with noble intentions, poor eyesight and erratic execution?
Don Quichoté.
New dad 9/14/14, finally can legit post in here (=
Eyesight test
- You will need a few small pieces of paper or 'cards'. Write down a short sentence on each piece starting with a large font and slowly decreasing it as you go. The last piece should have "I can't see" and all of them should be legible from a short distance. Print if you must!
- Find a
victim friend/child and tell them you have read about an eye test on the internet that you can do at home which will provide an estimate to your eyesight and that you wish to try it on them.
- Chances are they will agree. If they're embarrassed their eyesight is bad or similar convince them it doesn't matter. If they are wearing glasses you can ask them to take them off to make your story seem more authentic. Stand a bit away from target (the distance you stand from said person should be enough so they can read all your cards so alter according to their eyesight)
- Slowly reveal each card and ask your subject to read them out aloud.
- When you reach your final card and they read it out, if they don't suspect anything/get the joke move the card closer and closer until they finally understand.Remember a joke is funnier if you don't tell them, so give them some time to think about what happened! Actions such as slapping your leg, laughing wildly or bashing your fist on the table can help them understand. This is not an actual eyesight test! and use this prank appropriately.
Oranges improves your eyesight
Because it contains Vitamin See
You know what vitamin is the most helpful for eyesight?
What vitamin is best for failing eyesight?
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