Did you know most Asians have cataracts?

But the others drive Lincoln

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📅︎ Dec 29 2019
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Chinese guy goes to the optometrist for an eye exam and the doctor tells him "You have a cataract." And the Chines guy goes "No, I drive a Wincoln."
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📅︎ May 04 2019
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I read in the news that cataract surgery costs have gone up by 400%.

Makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Jan 04 2019
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I used to date a girl who had cataracts.

Things were going great until one day she stopped seeing me.

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📅︎ Oct 13 2018
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Did you know that 80% of Japanese businessmen have cataracts?

The rest have Rexuses, Rincolns, and Ramborghinis

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📅︎ Jul 26 2013
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Cataracts

My grandmother has a woman who comes over and takes care of her during the day.. A few family members were there and were talking about how my grandmas sight wasn't as good as it used to be.

Care Woman: "Well Shirley has cataracts..."

Dad: "Yeah, she has one in the garage.. She used to have a Rincoln too.."

GET IT??!?!?! gahhhhhhh

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👤︎ u/yolorelli
📅︎ Dec 06 2013
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A doctor told my dad that he may have a cataract.

He replied: "I don't have a cataract, I have a Lexus"

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📅︎ May 15 2016
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Dad just got double cataract surgery.

Dad walks out of surgery and utters to my Mom "Uggghhhhhhhh so thats what you look like???"

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📅︎ Mar 27 2014
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Why did the Kitten go to the Optomitrist?

Because he had a cataract!

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📅︎ Oct 28 2019
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Possibly the worst one he's ever attempted.

My mom was talking about her eyes and how she has a cataract in one of them, when my dad said "Cataract? I told you to get a Mercedes!"

Head-shakes from my mom and I and blank stares from the rest of the table.

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👤︎ u/dclarsen
📅︎ Mar 14 2014
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Our cat is 15 years old, so he's got a lot of health issues.

Me: "Can you take a look at Jeffrey's eye? I think he has cataracts."

Dad: "Of course he does. Would you expect him to have dogaracts?"

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👤︎ u/PeterPorky
📅︎ May 23 2015
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What do you call a multi level system of cats?

Cataracts

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📅︎ Feb 07 2017
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My dad got me good yesterday.

Dad: (talking about my dog) Her right eye is getting a little cloudy.
Me: Yeah those are cataracts, right?
Dad: No I think they're dogaracts.

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👤︎ u/seanbeck
📅︎ May 24 2015
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We're on my way to my Dad's 57th birthday in my Mom's Escalade...

As we're driving, he complains about how dirty my mom's old Escalade's windshield is and he can barely see through. I try to be a smart ass.

Me: Maybe it's the cataracts.

Dad: We're in a Cataract Escalade.

We all got a giggle.

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📅︎ Mar 29 2015
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Dad just got back from the optometrist

The doctor told him he had cataracts. My dad replied, no I drive a Mercedes.

I think he'd been saving that one for a while judging by the smile on his face.

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📅︎ May 01 2016
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My grandfather, with two generations of dad jokes under his belt, lets this loose at dinner...

Grandpa: "So a Chinese fella is getting his eyes checked at the eye doctor since he can't see as well anymore. The doctor takes a good look at his eyes and tells him that he has a cataract.

He responds, 'I don't drive a Cadirrac! I drive a Rincoln Continental!'"

Oh, grandpa.

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📅︎ Sep 19 2013
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Got my dad

We were discussing our cat's vision problem.

Him: maybe she's blind

Me: or she might have cataracts.

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📅︎ Jan 19 2015
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I knew it was a matter of time before my dad made these jokes.

My mom and dad were talking about my great uncle, who has cataracts.

My mom: "He has cataracts but he's working on getting them removed"

Dad: "Well maybe he could find a nice Toyota after he sells those cataracts."

(Cadillacs)

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👤︎ u/2_F_Jeff
📅︎ Oct 18 2014
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Got this one while talking with my Grandfather

Grandpa: I've got a cataract in my left eye, so I'm partially blind.

Dad: I can't even afford to drive a cataract.

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📅︎ Dec 25 2013
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Eye surgery and birds.

Girlfriends mom had eye surgery for her cataracts today, she has to wear an eye patch until it heals.

Nurse to girlfriends dad: "So you're giving her a ride home today?"

Girlfriends dad: "Yeah, I couldn't find a parrot to give her directions."

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📅︎ Apr 29 2014
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