Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!

I really needed that change of heart!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My grandma has to get hip surgery.

I didn't know she would go to such great lengths to stay hip.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Heart transplant is a really heart touching surgery

Yeah that was it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_boogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.

That's no skin off of my nose!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently had an eye surgery

It was an eye-opening experience.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jungle10000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.

They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otherwise-Sherbet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn’t think brain surgery was ethnical...

But after a successful surgery the Dr changed my mind

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKDOGG424
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Relax, David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.

Me: my name isn’t David.

Doctor: I know. I’m David.

πŸ‘︎ 953
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.

Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....

...

...

"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
For our first date, I had surgery with my wife

It was a great way for us to open up.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoSnapsMack
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Just get plastic surgery
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FiresideLamb961
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A blind man is going into surgery today for a cornea transplant.

He hopes by tomorrow, he’ll get to see everyone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m thinking about opening a plastic surgery center

I will call it β€œPick Your Nose”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/speek_ez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you a call a T-Rex that had a surgery?

A Dino-Sore!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt4307
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
During my hip-replacement surgery, I asked my surgeon if I could inject the anesthesia myself..

Surgeon: Yeah sure. Knock yourself out.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappLegend
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A bar near me has an event once a week where a guy called Michael freely allows the customers to perform surgery on him...

It's an open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slatersays22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.

I see a few new faces this week and I must say I’m disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaCrimsonChinn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Just had double knee surgery in Japan

I guess you can call them Japa-knees

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dummy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous.

I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd tonight and I just have to say I'm really disappointed

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye

The doctors called it eyeLEDs

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TestSubject_02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.

(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If anyone has any advice for cosmetic surgery that’s gone terribly wrong...

My wife is all ears

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the author suffer writers block after rectal surgery?

He was left with only a semicolon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ph00p
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A lawyer wakes up after surgery

He asks the nurse why the blinds are drawn.

She says, "There's a fire outside and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad had a failing heart and refused to get surgery.

But in the end, he had a change of heart.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jazst
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I went in for surgery today and the doctor found catholic zombies inside me!

He said he found an infected mass.....

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eluchel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend just told me that he has a third nipple, and he has decided to get surgery to remove it.

He really needed to get it off his chest.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
After the surgery, my wife asked, "How do you feel?"

I replied, "With my nerves."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A surgeon had three surgeries assigned to the same day. After the first one he said: "One done, tumor to go"
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pilot230
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery

Hashtag nofilter

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hooligan_86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Having surgery with local anesthesia is a SCARRING experience
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
[NSFWish] Did you hear about the new eyelid replacement surgery for burn victims?

They use foreskin to replace them. Only side-effect is coming out a little cockeyed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a female sex change surgery?

An adadicktome

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalbill64
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL that Mr. T used to be called Mr. Colton before the surgery.

He got the colon removed

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most common type of surgery preformed at the Lego hospital?

Plastic surgery!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keeks_92
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
It used to be taboo to talk about plastic surgery.

Now if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't want to have a brain surgery

But the neurosurgeon changed my mind

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phlegmaticguy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 662
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...

It was an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘︎ 237
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.

I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYRion7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Before surgery the anesthetist asked if I wanted to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mirratrix
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention Botox and no one raises an eyebrow.

πŸ‘︎ 498
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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