Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
π︎ 10k
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︎ Dec 28 2020
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!
I really needed that change of heart!
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 05 2021
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 49
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︎ Jan 21 2021
My grandma has to get hip surgery.
I didn't know she would go to such great lengths to stay hip.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Heart transplant is a really heart touching surgery
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 23 2020
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.
That's no skin off of my nose!
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I recently had an eye surgery
It was an eye-opening experience.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 27 2020
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
π︎ 8k
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︎ Apr 26 2020
I didnβt think brain surgery was ethnical...
But after a successful surgery the Dr changed my mind
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Doctor: Relax, David. Itβs just a small surgery, donβt panic.
Me: my name isnβt David.
Doctor: I know. Iβm David.
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︎ Jul 12 2020
A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.
Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....
...
...
"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
For our first date, I had surgery with my wife
It was a great way for us to open up.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Just get plastic surgery
π︎ 5k
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︎ Feb 17 2020
A blind man is going into surgery today for a cornea transplant.
He hopes by tomorrow, heβll get to see everyone.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Iβm thinking about opening a plastic surgery center
I will call it βPick Your Noseβ
π︎ 15
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︎ Oct 12 2020
What do you a call a T-Rex that had a surgery?
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 23 2020
During my hip-replacement surgery, I asked my surgeon if I could inject the anesthesia myself..
Surgeon: Yeah sure. Knock yourself out.
π︎ 22
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︎ Oct 01 2020
A bar near me has an event once a week where a guy called Michael freely allows the customers to perform surgery on him...
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces this week and I must say Iβm disappointed.
π︎ 14
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Just had double knee surgery in Japan
I guess you can call them Japa-knees
π︎ 22
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous.
I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd tonight and I just have to say I'm really disappointed
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Someone recently came back from surgery after an accident with their eye. They got a new eye and a mechanical cover that can shine light while covering the eye
The doctors called it eyeLEDs
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 17 2020
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
π︎ 126
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︎ Jun 06 2020
If anyone has any advice for cosmetic surgery thatβs gone terribly wrong...
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
π︎ 6k
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Why did the author suffer writers block after rectal surgery?
He was left with only a semicolon.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 31 2020
A lawyer wakes up after surgery
He asks the nurse why the blinds are drawn.
She says, "There's a fire outside and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 13 2020
My dad had a failing heart and refused to get surgery.
But in the end, he had a change of heart.
π︎ 21
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︎ Jul 10 2020
I went in for surgery today and the doctor found catholic zombies inside me!
He said he found an infected mass.....
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 01 2020
My friend just told me that he has a third nipple, and he has decided to get surgery to remove it.
He really needed to get it off his chest.
π︎ 94
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︎ Apr 14 2020
After the surgery, my wife asked, "How do you feel?"
I replied, "With my nerves."
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 04 2020
A surgeon had three surgeries assigned to the same day. After the first one he said: "One done, tumor to go"
π︎ 20
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︎ May 08 2020
I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery
π︎ 8k
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︎ Apr 07 2019
Having surgery with local anesthesia is a SCARRING experience
π︎ 2
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︎ May 19 2020
[NSFWish] Did you hear about the new eyelid replacement surgery for burn victims?
They use foreskin to replace them. Only side-effect is coming out a little cockeyed.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 17 2020
What do you call a female sex change surgery?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 16 2020
TIL that Mr. T used to be called Mr. Colton before the surgery.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 22 2020
What's the most common type of surgery preformed at the Lego hospital?
π︎ 24
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︎ Apr 19 2020
It used to be taboo to talk about plastic surgery.
Now if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 18
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I didn't want to have a brain surgery
But the neurosurgeon changed my mind
π︎ 90
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 662
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︎ Apr 30 2020
Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...
It was an ether/oar situation...
π︎ 237
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
π︎ 132
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︎ Apr 01 2020
Before surgery the anesthetist asked if I wanted to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation
π︎ 20
π
︎ May 10 2020
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 498
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
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