I’ve decided to open up an ophthalmologist office for homosexuals

It’s called The Gaze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dancer9d9
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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You know what type of joke ophthalmologists like?

...vitreous humor jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aisier_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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I want to open up an ophthalmologist office for homosexuals. I’ll call it, β€œThe Gaze”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dancer9d9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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What is an ophthalmologistβ€˜s favorite phrase

>! Eye see the issue now !<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xsaber125
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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"Dad, how come your appointment is with the ophthalmologist but mine is at the veterinarian's?"

"Well, son. You see, one is an eye doc and the other is a ewe doc."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nine_legged_stool
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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My friend the eye doctor explained this to me. Ophthalmologists are doctors who specialize in eyes. Optometrists examine your eyes to see whether you need corrective lenses. Opticians sell glasses and lenses.

and optimists see glasses as half full.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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I asked my Ophthalmologist, can you tell me what's wrong with me eyes?

He won't give me an answer, he keeps repeating:

"I can sir"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterLJ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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If you're having eye trouble and need to see and ophthalmologist, you'll have to pay him a pokemon.

To help you, he needs to take a Pikachu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_Printer_AMA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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A man sits next to another man on the train

He pulls out a photo of his wife, shows it to the other man and says β€œisn’t she beautiful?”.

Other man: β€œIf you think she’s beautiful you should see my wife”

First man: β€œWhy? Is she a stunner?”

Other man: β€œNo, she’s an ophthalmologist”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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Conversation I just heard:

idk how funny you guys will think this is, but it made me hide behind my computer. here you go ^^'

My sister: Dad, I need to get my eyes checked ...
Dad (ophthalmologist): Well, come see me by my office some time this week
My sister: *grin* but that's the problem, I can't
*lmao, ofc they both laugh*

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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Pad your repertoire with these
  1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
  2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
  3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
  4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
  5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
  6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
  7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
  8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
  9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
  10. HEROES What a man in a boat does
  11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
  12. PARADOX Two physicians
  13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
  14. POLARIZE What penguins see through
  15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV
  16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring
  17. RUBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
  18. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
  19. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official
  20. PARADIGMS 20 cents
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Crockett
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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My dad just e-mailed me a list of definitions:
  1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds

  2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

  3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

  4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

  5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

  6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

  7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

  8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

  9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

  10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

  11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

  12. PARADOX: Two physicians

  13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

  14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

  15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

  16. PRIMATE:

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnideRemarkDept
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2013
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