As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.

Does anyone know how I can get it back?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My eye doctor just told me that I can’t see anymore,

I never saw that coming😜

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_bee133
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time my dad goes to the eye doctor, they ask him to read the smallest text on the chart out loud.

He says, "Printed in China."

This is a true story lol.

πŸ‘︎ 142
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BasementGrowNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Have your eyes ever been checked?

Patient: No, they’ve always been green.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pizzareno
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor doctor I think I've got a problem with my eye

Doctor: I dont know, looks pretty good to me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IPoisonedYourMum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife: what are your plans for today? Me: I am going to the eye doctor

And after that I’ll see

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses.

Life before that was a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do all felines have to go to the eye doctor?

For their cat-aracts.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewciferthedude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was a doctor, and he always warned us not to get ketchup in our eyes.

If we did we would develop heintzsight, he said.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
When I visited Alaska, I kept thinking I was seeing native eye doctors...

Turns out it was just an optical Aleutian.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aurrutia214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the eye doctor for a checkup. This is his suite number.
πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cracksilog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I told the doctor, when I close my eyes I see pink elephants. He asked: " Have you seen an optician?"

I said "No. Just pink elephants."

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
After returning from the eye doctor, my dad started chugging milk straight from the carton.

When asked why, he said, β€œThe doctor told me I don’t need glasses.”

πŸ‘︎ 213
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.

Life before that is a blur.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.

She’s an Opthemallogist

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A doctor says to a patient β€œHave your eyes been checked?” ...

β€œNo doc, they’ve always been blue”. The patient replies

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Doctor my eye hurts when I drink coffee

Doctor: have you tried taking the spoon out?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/niggy-bros
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Never let your eye doctor cut up your cocaine

The first line is massive Then they get smaller and smaller

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.

But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor : You've got a problem in your eyes

Dad : Oh i see

Doctor : No you can't

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaggersouls_2001
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to see my Spanish-speaking eye doctor today.

He found that nothing was wrong with my eyes. On my way out, I said, β€œThank you.”

β€œNo eye problema,” he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vicious_viridian
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Eye doctor
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a good eye doctor when I see one.
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
"Doctor, when I drink coffee there's a pain in my left eye and when I drink tea there's a pain in my right eye."

Dr: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShibbleNibble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
They rushed me into the hospital with all my limbs detached, screaming in pain, but the doctor took one look at me and rolled his eyes.

β€œPull yourself together.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyben
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Chinese guy goes to the optometrist for an eye exam and the doctor tells him "You have a cataract." And the Chines guy goes "No, I drive a Wincoln."
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vonQuadratard
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My eye doctor is concerned because I keep walking headlong into objects...

He thinks it's a matter of life and depth.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Boy, was I glad to see my eye doctor!
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My eye doctor told me that I would have to start using glasses.

I told him I wouldn’t, I drink out of the bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pepperoni_troll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
The worst time to be an eye doctor has to be New Year's Eve 2019,

Right before everyone sees 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/josefransisco
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
As a dad I was proud of this one driving home from the eye doctor

Son: The doctor said I need to be sure to change my contacts every two weeks so my eyes don't get irritated. But I'm bad with setting reminders.

Dad: Just eyeball it.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeattleMana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend the eye doctor explained this to me. Ophthalmologists are doctors who specialize in eyes. Optometrists examine your eyes to see whether you need corrective lenses. Opticians sell glasses and lenses.

and optimists see glasses as half full.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My Italian cousin went to buy a TV but came back as an eye doctor.

He just wanted "A tell a vision."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
An eye doctor went to see a dermatologist for his acne

He prescribed him some Retin-A

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hbsquatch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Went to the eye doctor today for a weird smell in my eye

She told me I have bad eygiene

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iforgotmyhandle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Was treated nicely by a beautiful eye doctor, I said

eye love you.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gimlie135
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I once had to see an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.

Turns out he was an optical Aleutian.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crash_86
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
I saw the eye doctor today

so, that's a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lostcartographer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
🚨︎ report
My eye doctor just got engaged to his assistant...

It sounds like they are going to have a long engagement though. They're getting married in 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Psychic_Meatball
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the eye doctor say about Hines Ward's examination?

Hines sight is 20/20

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dolly_llama_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad at the eye doctor

Why are eye doctors always so positive?

Because they're OPTOMETRISTS!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/angelfoodcakeboss
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I have an eye doctor's appointment today

My new step dad texts me this morning:

Stepdad: "So did ya study for your eye exam?"

Me: "LOL nope"

Stepdad: "Well I'll text you the answers so you don't fail!!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BongRipz4Satan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Visited the eye doctor today.

Doc: Do you smoke?

Me: No, should I start?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keyma5ter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island...

...but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island . . .

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnideRemarkDept
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.