Anyone else notice that when you REALLY need an eye doctor they are hard to see?
My dentist looks like my eye doctor
A formerly blind man finishes his last round of eye surgery to gain his sight. The doctor asks if he has any last questions.
Patient: no, I think I'll see my self out.
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??
An Optical Aleutian
I’ll see myself out...
I went to an Eye Doctor because I was having trouble seeing
I thought he would give me glasses, but he said he had a better solution and suddenly squirted ketchup into my eyes!
I was about to object, then realized I could see perfectly! I asked him how it worked, and he shrugged and said...
"Heinz-sight is 20/20"
My eye doctor told me I have some of the worst vision of any of his clients today
Didn't see that one coming
What do you call a grumpy eye doctor?
Next time you go to the eye doctor say its nice to see you again
I asked my doctor what I could do about my irritated eyes. He said "check out conjunctivitis.com."
"It's a site for sore eyes."
Why was the eye doctor called for the comatose gunshot victim?
Which eye doctor makes you happy?
The earliest memory I have is going to the doctor with my dad to get my eyes checked.
Things before that is a blur.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.
Does anyone know how I can get it back?
Every time my dad goes to the eye doctor, they ask him to read the smallest text on the chart out loud.
He says, "Printed in China."
This is a true story lol.
My eye doctor just told me that I can’t see anymore,
Doctor: Have your eyes ever been checked?
Patient: No, they’ve always been green.
My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses.
Life before that was a blur.
Wife: what are your plans for today? Me: I am going to the eye doctor
Doctor doctor I think I've got a problem with my eye
Doctor: I dont know, looks pretty good to me.
Went to the eye doctor for a checkup. This is his suite number.
My dad was a doctor, and he always warned us not to get ketchup in our eyes.
If we did we would develop heintzsight, he said.
Why do all felines have to go to the eye doctor?
After returning from the eye doctor, my dad started chugging milk straight from the carton.
When asked why, he said, “The doctor told me I don’t need glasses.”
When I visited Alaska, I kept thinking I was seeing native eye doctors...
Turns out it was just an optical Aleutian.
I told the doctor, when I close my eyes I see pink elephants. He asked: " Have you seen an optician?"
I said "No. Just pink elephants."
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.
But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
Never let your eye doctor cut up your cocaine
The first line is massive
Then they get smaller and smaller
Doctor : You've got a problem in your eyes
Dad : Oh i see
Doctor : No you can't
Me: Doctor my eye hurts when I drink coffee
Doctor: have you tried taking the spoon out?
I went to see my Spanish-speaking eye doctor today.
He found that nothing was wrong with my eyes. On my way out, I said, “Thank you.”
“No eye problema,” he replied.
"Doctor, when I drink coffee there's a pain in my left eye and when I drink tea there's a pain in my right eye."
Dr: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"
They rushed me into the hospital with all my limbs detached, screaming in pain, but the doctor took one look at me and rolled his eyes.
“Pull yourself together.”
Chinese guy goes to the optometrist for an eye exam and the doctor tells him "You have a cataract." And the Chines guy goes "No, I drive a Wincoln."
My eye doctor is concerned because I keep walking headlong into objects...
He thinks it's a matter of life and depth.
As a dad I was proud of this one driving home from the eye doctor
Son: The doctor said I need to be sure to change my contacts every two weeks so my eyes don't get irritated. But I'm bad with setting reminders.
Dad: Just eyeball it.
Boy, was I glad to see my eye doctor!
An eye doctor went to see a dermatologist for his acne
He prescribed him some Retin-A
My friend the eye doctor explained this to me. Ophthalmologists are doctors who specialize in eyes. Optometrists examine your eyes to see whether you need corrective lenses. Opticians sell glasses and lenses.
and optimists see glasses as half full.
The worst time to be an eye doctor has to be New Year's Eve 2019,
Right before everyone sees 2020.
My eye doctor told me that I would have to start using glasses.
I told him I wouldn’t, I drink out of the bottle.
My earliest clear childhood memory is going with my parents to the eye doctor.
Life before that is a blur.
A doctor says to a patient “Have your eyes been checked?” ...
“No doc, they’ve always been blue”. The patient replies
I know a good eye doctor when I see one.
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