Doctor pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jordache_JD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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her name is Carly and shes a doctor (pun idea)

man I should C A Rly good doctor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalTango
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.

ME: ...And?

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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What did the Doctor say to the constipated detective?

No shit Sherlock?

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_mash_king
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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which doctor? πŸ€”
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/el0ise-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?

A fizzician

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrusaderTbone
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Did you here about the doctor who messed up the circumcision?

He got the sack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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The doctor told me my DNA is inverted.

I said "And?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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So the doctor came in to ask me about my broken arm. He said, "will painkillers help?"

"It wouldn't hurt"

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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Patient: Doctor Doctor I'm blind!

Doctor: I see

Patient: Well no need to rub it in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaniusCruiser
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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When my doctor told me my plastic surgery was free of charge

The look on my face was priceless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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My doctor told me I'm going deaf.

The news was hard for me to hear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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Why did the snake go to the doctor?

He had a frog in his throat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laurzinoz
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting ' help me please, I'm shrinking ' The Doctor calmly said ' now settle down a bit '..

..' you'll just have to learn to be a little patient '

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Doctor told me my insurance doesn't cover Viagra, but he can prescribe me the generic.....

Mycoxafloppin

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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Doctor: Sorry sir but your body has ran out of Magnesium

Me: 0Mg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I tried to talk to my doctor about circumcision

He just talked in circles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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What do both doctors and bartenders have in common?

They give you shots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/macuser06
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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Anyone else notice that when you REALLY need an eye doctor they are hard to see?
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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I am at the waiting room of the doctor’s office, wondering when my girlfriend’s checkup will be over.

Sitting at the Doc of the Bae, wasting time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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Bridesmaid Proposal Puns for a Doctor and a Lawyer?

I am asking two of my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids and wanted to word the question in a punny way related to their careers- one is a first-year medical resident and the other is a law student. I would like to flatter them/make it funny. Any and all ideas are appreciated!! If there is a better sub to ask this question please let me know:))

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rose1229
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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The doctor told me I was sick. I asked him if he had the cure.

He told me that he was more of a Rolling Stones guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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My doctor friend is addicted to hitting his patients on the knees to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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does anyone know if a doctor can take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?

Ass skin for a friend.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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What’s a doctor who studies adam’s apples called?

A guy-neck-ologist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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A woman goes to her doctor. He says: β€œHaven’t seen you in a long time”

She says: β€œThat’s because I was sick”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrabApprehensive
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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My doctor says that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go.

Because they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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Why do short-tempered doctors always go out of business?

They don't have any patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear

He gave me some cream for it

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πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?

A ghostroenterologist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divine_ICBM
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling well.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Doctor to patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes.

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future.

The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?" The guy tells him, "Since next Monday."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Doctor: "Relax David, It's just a small surgery. Don't panic!!"

Me: "But my name isn't David."

Doctor: "I know, I'm David."

πŸ‘︎ 995
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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Doctor- Your body is completely out of magnesium.

Patient- OMG! Doctor- Exactly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benglescott
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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Watson is the most famous doctor in the world

if not, Who is

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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My dentist looks like my eye doctor

They’re identical

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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Went to the doctor and he used the defibrilator on me!

I was SHOCKED!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnymclargehuge
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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My doctor is such a great guy. He always showers me with compliments.

Just the other day, he told me I have acute tonsillitis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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So it turns out Dr. Pepper isn't a real medical doctor...

He has a doctorate in theoretical fizz-ics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyOnABison
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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My doctor said that I had multiple personalities...

But, we don't believe him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??

An Optical Aleutian

I’ll see myself out...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I went in for a Covid test and my doctor asked if I had a sudden loss of taste

"No, I always dress like this", I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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My doctor told me I'm going deaf.

The news was hard for me to hear.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor in the world...

then Who is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Doctor to Patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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