Did you here about the doctor who messed up the circumcision?
Doctor: “How is the boy who swallowed the quarter?”
Did you hear about the fish who grew up to be a doctor?
What did the doctor prescribe to the supernova who was complaining of the aching of their leg?
I called to speak to my doctor and the receptionist asked "May I ask who's calling?"
I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: oh no, not my brother, what an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
My doctor, who is also a clown... Asked me what seems to be the problem
I said, funny you should ask
The WHO have a German Doctor now heading up their COVID response..
.. He's Dr Hans Sanitizer.
My son kept singing the first line to the Spider-Man song over and over. So we took him to the doctor who gave us the bad news:
Our son was trapped in the spider-verse.
Dad: Who is the most famous Doctor?
Son: What?
Dad: Not Dr What son... close.. who
Son: Who?
Dad: Yes
Son: Who’s Dr Yes?
Dad: No, Who is who
Son: In the the zoo?
Dad: No, who isn’t in the zoo.
Son: What?
Dad: He’s on second.
Why didn’t the man book an appointment with the doctor who said she only accepts patients with personal gifts?
Never go to a doctor who does standup comedy on the side.
He'll leave you in stitches.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
What do they say about the Doctor who fell down a well?
He should have tended to the sick and left the well alone.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
What did the doctor say to the patient who broke their foot for the second time?
What did the doctor say to the businessman? with an enlarged prostate who was being audited for tax evasion?
Urine trouble
*Apologies for the early '?'
Did you hear the one the Doctor told all his patients who were recovering from surgery?
They were all in stitches
Nurse comes in and tells the doctor "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?" The doctor says...
"Tell him I can't see him!"
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
I saw a communist who was up for his Hepatitis shot. He was telling stories to the doctor out of fear of needles.
The doctor said “Quit Stalin”
Did you hear about the doctor who lost his patience?
After 5 hours in the waiting room they decided to leave.
Hey did you hear about the doctor who did circumcision
Well he wasn't paid much but he got to keep the tips
What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do their own stitches?
My friend the eye doctor explained this to me. Ophthalmologists are doctors who specialize in eyes. Optometrists examine your eyes to see whether you need corrective lenses. Opticians sell glasses and lenses.
and optimists see glasses as half full.
A mom brings her baby to the doctor who says - wow, your baby is beautiful ! She says - thanks, but I'm sure you say that to every mom. He says - no I don't. She asks - what do you say if the baby is ugly??
Well, the doc says, I look at the baby and then I look at the mom and say - your baby looks just like you!
Did you hear about the doctor who got so angry she attacked a lab worker?
To be fair, he'd been testing her patience for months.
In the paper today there was a story about a doctor who got fired for a botched circumcision
What did the doctor say to the patient who fell and broke their ankle?
Well gee, you should be feeling swell in a couple days.
Did you hear about the doctor who went back in time and met himself?
He created a real pair-a-docs
Did you hear about the guy who killed himself cause the doctor had to amputate his toes due to complications with diabetes?
I guess he was also lack toes intolerant.
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
A single woman who was 3 months pregnant fell into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awoke and asked the doctor about her baby...
Doctor: "You had twins! A boy and a girl and they are both fine. We let the brother name them both for you"
Mother: "Oh shit, he's an idiot! What did he name my baby girl?"
Doctor: "Denise."
Mother: "Oh.. That's not too bad. What is my sons name?"
Doctor: "Denephew"
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