does anyone know if a doctor can take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?

Ass skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who loves computer programming but his parent wanted him to be a doctor. So he became a plastic surgeon.

Now he's a full rack developer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nech1492
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Doctor leaning over a patient who is slowly falling asleep due to anesthetic
  • No worries Steve, this will work out just fine. It’s an easy procedure.

  • But doctor, I’m not Steve!!

  • I know, I am Steve.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arv1do
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Doctor: β€œHow is the boy who swallowed the quarter?”

Nurse: β€œNo change yet”

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a doctor who specialises in Adams apples called?

A guyneckologist!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fish who grew up to be a doctor?

He now is a sturgeon

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/santino1987
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I called to speak to my doctor and the receptionist asked "May I ask who's calling?"

I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the doctor prescribe to the supernova who was complaining of the aching of their leg?

Nova-cain

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDreadist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily your brother named them for you. Woman: oh no, not my brother, what an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy? Doctor: Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/6Bazrael66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!

>!Everybody!<

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keratoconusgroup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctors who are always in a rush don't seem to be very successful.

I think it's the lack of patients.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninety-five95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor, who is also a clown... Asked me what seems to be the problem

I said, funny you should ask

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a doctor who is half man and half horse?

A centaur for disease control

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peach_problems
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The WHO have a German Doctor now heading up their COVID response..

.. He's Dr Hans Sanitizer.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do gamers call doctors who perform C-sections?

Womb raiders

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My son kept singing the first line to the Spider-Man song over and over. So we took him to the doctor who gave us the bad news:

Our son was trapped in the spider-verse.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a doctor who also deals with cars ?

Cardealogist

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vertex_welder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

You got it πŸ™ƒ

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pottassium2004
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: Who is the most famous Doctor?

Son: What?

Dad: Not Dr What son... close.. who

Son: Who?

Dad: Yes

Son: Who’s Dr Yes?

Dad: No, Who is who

Son: In the the zoo?

Dad: No, who isn’t in the zoo.

Son: What?

Dad: He’s on second.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CouldIRunTheZoo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the man book an appointment with the doctor who said she only accepts patients with personal gifts?

He was asimptomatic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sinnoh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Never go to a doctor who does standup comedy on the side.

He'll leave you in stitches.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?

Flu-Fighters

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do they say about the Doctor who fell down a well?

He should have tended to the sick and left the well alone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maxpingskycaptain
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

The hip Doctor!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the doctor say to the patient who broke their foot for the second time?

I'll reboot you

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ucom1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the doctor say to the businessman? with an enlarged prostate who was being audited for tax evasion?

Urine trouble

*Apologies for the early '?'

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oyohval
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally got around to watching Doctor Who

It's about time

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one the Doctor told all his patients who were recovering from surgery?

They were all in stitches

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/themoreidont
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a doctor who is always on call?

An oncologist.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BioticRock
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDoctor, I can’t stop saying β€˜Halt! Who goes there?” ...

β€œMmmm, I think you have a touch of Friendorphobia”

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Nurse comes in and tells the doctor "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?" The doctor says...

"Tell him I can't see him!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdryan1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?

He was arrested in a sting operation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

Nurse: No change yet.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?

MedEx

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nomekop777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male doctor who specializes in necks?

A guy-neck-ologist

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToothSleuth86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a communist who was up for his Hepatitis shot. He was telling stories to the doctor out of fear of needles.

The doctor said β€œQuit Stalin”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RTCOAT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A Spanish doctor recently coined a new term for people who are incapable of feeling empathy. You know what they call it?

Empanada

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePizzo856
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the doctor who lost his patience?

After 5 hours in the waiting room they decided to leave.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzix
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're a doctor who doesn't follow privacy laws...

...does that make you a HIPAAcrite?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Hey did you hear about the doctor who did circumcision

Well he wasn't paid much but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pidgeon_Centurian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know if doctors could take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?

Ass skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigjambo1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?

The hip consultant

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gymshark94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

The hip Doctor!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

The hip Doctor!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

The hip Doctor!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

The hip Doctor!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I started watching Doctor Who!

It's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathbyPun
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2015
🚨︎ report

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