does anyone know if a doctor can take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
π︎ 39
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I have a friend who loves computer programming but his parent wanted him to be a doctor. So he became a plastic surgeon.
Now he's a full rack developer.
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Doctor leaning over a patient who is slowly falling asleep due to anesthetic
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No worries Steve, this will work out just fine. Itβs an easy procedure.
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But doctor, Iβm not Steve!!
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I know, I am Steve.
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 25 2021
Doctor: βHow is the boy who swallowed the quarter?β
Nurse: βNo change yetβ
π︎ 58
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︎ Feb 11 2021
What's a doctor who specialises in Adams apples called?
π︎ 21
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︎ Mar 10 2021
Did you hear about the fish who grew up to be a doctor?
π︎ 19
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I called to speak to my doctor and the receptionist asked "May I ask who's calling?"
I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"
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︎ Jan 20 2021
What did the doctor prescribe to the supernova who was complaining of the aching of their leg?
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 24 2020
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: oh no, not my brother, what an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
π︎ 189
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Doctors who are always in a rush don't seem to be very successful.
I think it's the lack of patients.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 05 2020
My doctor, who is also a clown... Asked me what seems to be the problem
I said, funny you should ask
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
What do you call a doctor who is half man and half horse?
A centaur for disease control
π︎ 81
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
The WHO have a German Doctor now heading up their COVID response..
.. He's Dr Hans Sanitizer.
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 11 2020
What do gamers call doctors who perform C-sections?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 20 2020
My son kept singing the first line to the Spider-Man song over and over. So we took him to the doctor who gave us the bad news:
Our son was trapped in the spider-verse.
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 24 2020
What do you call a doctor who also deals with cars ?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 24 2020
Dad: Who is the most famous Doctor?
Son: What?
Dad: Not Dr What son... close.. who
Son: Who?
Dad: Yes
Son: Whoβs Dr Yes?
Dad: No, Who is who
Son: In the the zoo?
Dad: No, who isnβt in the zoo.
Son: What?
Dad: Heβs on second.
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 15 2020
Why didnβt the man book an appointment with the doctor who said she only accepts patients with personal gifts?
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 01 2020
Never go to a doctor who does standup comedy on the side.
He'll leave you in stitches.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 30 2020
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
What do they say about the Doctor who fell down a well?
He should have tended to the sick and left the well alone.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 10 2020
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
What did the doctor say to the patient who broke their foot for the second time?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 15 2019
What did the doctor say to the businessman? with an enlarged prostate who was being audited for tax evasion?
Urine trouble
*Apologies for the early '?'
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 26 2020
I finally got around to watching Doctor Who
π︎ 56
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︎ Oct 26 2019
Did you hear the one the Doctor told all his patients who were recovering from surgery?
They were all in stitches
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
What do you call a doctor who is always on call?
π︎ 64
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︎ Jan 17 2019
βDoctor, I canβt stop saying βHalt! Who goes there?β ...
βMmmm, I think you have a touch of Friendorphobiaβ
π︎ 20
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︎ Sep 19 2019
Nurse comes in and tells the doctor "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?" The doctor says...
"Tell him I can't see him!"
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 13 2019
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 13 2019
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
π︎ 21
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︎ Jun 25 2019
What do you call a doctor who became a delivery driver?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 15 2019
What do you call a male doctor who specializes in necks?
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 16 2019
I saw a communist who was up for his Hepatitis shot. He was telling stories to the doctor out of fear of needles.
The doctor said βQuit Stalinβ
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 05 2019
A Spanish doctor recently coined a new term for people who are incapable of feeling empathy. You know what they call it?
π︎ 36
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︎ Jan 17 2019
Did you hear about the doctor who lost his patience?
After 5 hours in the waiting room they decided to leave.
π︎ 14
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︎ Mar 11 2019
If you're a doctor who doesn't follow privacy laws...
...does that make you a HIPAAcrite?
π︎ 4
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︎ May 31 2018
Hey did you hear about the doctor who did circumcision
Well he wasn't paid much but he got to keep the tips
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 18 2019
Does anyone know if doctors could take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
π︎ 104
π
︎ Mar 13 2019
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 31 2019
I started watching Doctor Who!
π︎ 131
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︎ May 23 2015
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