I am the master pun creator
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
Dwayne Johnson is a master of origami...
As his apprentice, I once assisted him at an exhibition and managed to lose the cutting implement he uses to prepare the paper for folding. I can’t believe I lost The Rock’s Paper Scissors.
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Why did the pun master order a glass coffin for his own funeral?
Because he wanted his friends to see what he dead there.
Why did the chess master go to Prague?
I saw a dude’s truck that said Master Baitor on it one time now I don’t fish but I want that
Ve are the master chiefs
What do you call the perfect German soldiers?
Veteran-arians
Did you hear about the uncaring ,cyclopian Jedi Master?
Just received a masters degree in 'garden fencing'.
I am now a post graduate.
I'm a border collie. My master says that my main purpose is to gather sheep for him.
That's what I herd, anyway.
Why did the master distiller put an elevator in the warehouse?
A master woodworker needed transportation, so he built a motorcycle out of the best lumber in the workshop.
My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
What do you call a master archer?
Did you know that Jedi master Yoda was actually a Austro-Bavarian folk singer?
It's true. Right there in his last name, "Lay Hee Hoo."
What's your favourite blue spiky master film director?
Why are windows bad quiz masters?
They always reveal the answer
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
Did you know that musician Bob Seger wanted to be a chess master?
He was always working on his knight moves...
Master of None•••Pastor of Muppets
No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.
My father in law is the master at Dad Jokes, this is my favorite he tells my son
You must be built backwards because your feet smell and your nose runs.
I gave up explaining to my Zen master how E-mails work.
He can't just comprehend what attachments are!
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
Bow down to your master, peasants
Vincent Van Gogh’s son was a LEGO master. As a test of his skill he was asked...
Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?
Which is the grand master of nuts?
You’ll likely get this if you watched Russell Crowe in Master and Commander...
A Zen master walked up to a hot dog stand, and ordered himself a meal.
"Make me one with everything."
People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
Why didn't Obi-Wan forgive Darth Maul for killing his master?
He wasn't willing to let Qui-Gons be bygones.
My friend said that stray dogs have no masters.
I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.
You heard about the master-chef from Transylvania?
Why did the park master cross the road?
To get to the other slide
I met a Kung Fu master who has stayed in 30 yurts in the last 30 days
He's on a roundhouse kick.
Why isn’t Master Yoda a fan of rugby?
Because there is no try, only do, or do not.
Hit my own father with a back to back. The student has surpassed the master.
Had to change some plans with my dad while I'm in town. So I told him we had to move the day to Thursday.
He said "don't worry I'm flexible"
to which I replied "I'd say that's a bit of a stretch."
He didn't seem to know what I meant so I had to explain I was joking.
"Ahhh I may be flexible but I'm not so bright."
"Don't worry dad, at least the son is."
I have officially become more dad than my own dad.
Grandma is the dominant pun master in the family. (I’m in College— that’s why she says the first comment)
As a master electrician of 22 years, I've never had an accident on the job.
When I finally had an accident at work, I was shocked.
What did Master Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k resolution?
My friend told me, “You have a B.A., Master’s, and a Ph.D., but you still act like a moron.”
It was a third degree burn.
My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
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