I am the master pun creator
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MickeyMoose555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kimvandashian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Dwayne Johnson is a master of origami...

As his apprentice, I once assisted him at an exhibition and managed to lose the cutting implement he uses to prepare the paper for folding. I can’t believe I lost The Rock’s Paper Scissors.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Why did the pun master order a glass coffin for his own funeral?

Because he wanted his friends to see what he dead there.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Why did the chess master go to Prague?

To find a Czech mate

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joelthomastr
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
I saw a dude’s truck that said Master Baitor on it one time now I don’t fish but I want that
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Embot999
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Ve are the master chiefs

What do you call the perfect German soldiers?

Veteran-arians

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elonzalor
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the uncaring ,cyclopian Jedi Master?

He didn’t give one iota.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Just received a masters degree in 'garden fencing'.

I am now a post graduate.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
I'm a border collie. My master says that my main purpose is to gather sheep for him.

That's what I herd, anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
Why did the master distiller put an elevator in the warehouse?

To lift his spirits

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigfootNick
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
A master woodworker needed transportation, so he built a motorcycle out of the best lumber in the workshop.

It wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œYou have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a master archer?

Unstoppabow

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Jedi master Yoda was actually a Austro-Bavarian folk singer?

It's true. Right there in his last name, "Lay Hee Hoo."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
What's your favourite blue spiky master film director?

Sonic The Hitchcock

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Childhoodcocaine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Why are windows bad quiz masters?

They always reveal the answer

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.

They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

πŸ‘︎ 599
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdolmiosauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sevohanian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that musician Bob Seger wanted to be a chess master?

He was always working on his knight moves...

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bradley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Master of Noneβ€’β€’β€’Pastor of Muppets
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.

I don’t know y

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My father in law is the master at Dad Jokes, this is my favorite he tells my son

You must be built backwards because your feet smell and your nose runs.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCandle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave up explaining to my Zen master how E-mails work.

He can't just comprehend what attachments are!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pkdtezpur88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...

It was stolen from right under my nose.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Bow down to your master, peasants
πŸ‘︎ 260
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edmund22lee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Vincent Van Gogh’s son was a LEGO master. As a test of his skill he was asked...

Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Pun Level: Master
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrismith410
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is the grand master of nuts?

The chess-nut.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
You’ll likely get this if you watched Russell Crowe in Master and Commander...
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renoraid
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A Zen master walked up to a hot dog stand, and ordered himself a meal.

"Make me one with everything."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatinousNamous
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoyamec69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Obi-Wan forgive Darth Maul for killing his master?

He wasn't willing to let Qui-Gons be bygones.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said that stray dogs have no masters.

I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolmcq
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You heard about the master-chef from Transylvania?

Vlad Tapas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the park master cross the road?

To get to the other slide

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a Kung Fu master who has stayed in 30 yurts in the last 30 days

He's on a roundhouse kick.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyDabomb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
"Master Kief"
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATacticalBagel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
pc master race
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LavinaBBGK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t Master Yoda a fan of rugby?

Because there is no try, only do, or do not.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darth-noxious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Hit my own father with a back to back. The student has surpassed the master.

Had to change some plans with my dad while I'm in town. So I told him we had to move the day to Thursday.

He said "don't worry I'm flexible"

to which I replied "I'd say that's a bit of a stretch."

He didn't seem to know what I meant so I had to explain I was joking.

"Ahhh I may be flexible but I'm not so bright."

"Don't worry dad, at least the son is."

I have officially become more dad than my own dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uber_battletoad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Grandma is the dominant pun master in the family. (I’m in Collegeβ€” that’s why she says the first comment)
πŸ‘︎ 580
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πŸ‘€︎ u/henriley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
🚨︎ report
As a master electrician of 22 years, I've never had an accident on the job.

When I finally had an accident at work, I was shocked.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vodka_twinkie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Master Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k resolution?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend told me, β€œYou have a B.A., Master’s, and a Ph.D., but you still act like a moron.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 486
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œYou have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report

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