At first I thought I didn't want to be a professional footnoter for a scholarly works...
But it was love at first cite!
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 12 2021
Weβre you aware that the NFL has a rule on professional athletes and the animals they can own as pets? They are prohibited from owning a duck as a pet!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
Why don't professional boxers have sex before a fight ?
Thy probably don't like each other.
π︎ 119
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
I have never actually used a professional telescope in my life.
Itβs something Iβm thinking of looking into.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
I became a professional fisherman...
But discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Iβve considered becoming a professional horse groomer.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
What do positively charged particles have in common with professional sumo wrestling teams?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
What's a professional and experienced drug overlord is called ?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
Professional librarian.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Professional procrastinator
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
Why do referees in professional rugby always give penalties against chickens?
Because they always award against professional fowls.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Why do some types of healthcare professionals only care about themselves?
Because they're nurse assists.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Amazon delivered my new Ninja professional blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
My dream of becoming the first professional boxer/pirate were crushed....
The boxing commission said my right hook was illegal.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
My friend is a professional skydiver.
He really throws himself into his work.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
What do you call medical professionals who don't feed their patients after an overnight stay in the hospital?
Doctors without boarders.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
The guy who did my urinalysis made way too many jokes to be a professional
It was a complete pisstake
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
My wife, Ming, told me, "You would look more professional without that funny bow tie." I have to wear it though. I explained to her, "My jokes aren't funny without...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Did you hear about the professional bowler who was also a gymnast?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.
He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
My dog decided to become a professional at barking
I think I'll get him a subwoofer
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
Security professionals advise to never use βbeef stewβ as a password
π︎ 423
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
I want to hire a group of professional hackers
To antagonize a local QT and mess with their registers. That way I can get a snack, wait in line and every five minutes say, punctually, "Man, this quick trip is taking a long time."
It'll be my entertainment for an afternoon.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
Whatβs the Highest Level of Competition That a Semi Professional Sauerkraut Pickler Aspires To?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
I was going to make a joke about a professional Boxer
But he blocked my punch line
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 16 2020
How much money do professional ice skaters make in a year?
Eight figures but unfortunately they can't access it because their accounts are frozen.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 26 2020
My wife dated a professional clown before we started going out.
I had some big shoes to fill.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
Did you hear about the professional skier who started to use performance enhancing drugs?
He went downhill real fast.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
Steve Tyler has quit the music business and become a professional fletcher...
His shop is called Arrowsmith.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Whatβs the one thing professional poker players and plumbers can agree on?
A royal flush is better than a full house
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 25 2020
What do you call a medical professional who has lost it way?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 02 2020
My friend was a professional opera soloist...
It was her aria of expertise.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 09 2020
My friend is a professional sewer inspector
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
I once tried to be a professional juggler
I had to quit, there was just too much up in the air at the time
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
I used to be a professional singer...
Why do I mention it? I figured it was noteworthy.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
What did the researchers have to do before they could compare the BMIs of inmates to professional bodybuilders?
First, they had to weigh the pros and cons.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 15 2019
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it failed miserably.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 248
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
It would be impossible to host a professional hide n seek tournament
Since good players are hard to find
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
I dreamed of becoming a professional fisherman
But I found out that I couldn't live on my net income
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Why is organizing a professional hide-and-seek tournament hard?
It's hard to find good players.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete disaster.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
I used to be a professional fisherman
Then discovered I couldn't live on my net income
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 30 2019
My idea of a professional Hide and Seek tournament failed miserably.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Feb 22 2020
My wife dated a professional clown before she met me.
I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
π︎ 123
π
︎ Aug 10 2019
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