I am awaiting news from my doctor to see if I have athlete's foot.

I'm on my toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TickLikesBombs
πŸ“…︎ May 11
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I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.

So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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Will all the athletes at the 2020 Olympics.....

......be required to have perfect eyesight?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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Who would win in a fight. Athletes or Prisoners?

It's hard to say, they have their pros and their cons.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
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If athletes get athlete’s foot then what do astronauts get?

Missile toe.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unsaneasylum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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If an athlete tears their ACL,

They’ll probably kneed surgery.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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An athlete from Finland tried to outrun the other athletes

He said he wanted to pass the Finnish line

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/filthyaverage
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.

He’s been undie-feeted ever since.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beeeeen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Why did the athlete eat a lightbulb? (OC)

Because it was an electro-light!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoZellin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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What athlete can jump higher than a building

Everyone can buildings cant jump

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCanceryboi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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What kind of athlete makes the best kind of neurologist?

Swimmers, because they have to learn all about strokes.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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Why are athletes so cool?

They have a lot of fans

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluespider89
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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What did the athlete ask, when he lost a screw?

U sain my bolt?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sponska
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Why did the Olympic athlete throw his reading assignment away?

His professor asked him to discus it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StanggTwin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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My friend text me that he got a new job testing athlete for doping in the next olympics. I think he’s just taking the piss.....
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feckthis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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What do you call a Chinese athlete caught cheating ?

Do Ping

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Junkil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
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What do British spies use to prevent athlete's foot?

Bond. Gold Bond.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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About a year ago, my girlfriend left me for a Kenyan athlete. We remained friends, but I haven’t heard from her in a while.

I guess Lorraine’s down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/great_red_dragon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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There was some controversy in the sports world this week, when they allowed some athletes to try out for the Olympic gymnastics team more than once

I thought it was just revaulting

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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If a Russian athlete wins in a Pyeongchang event, does that mean they're Medaling with the Olympics?
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/49RedBulls
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
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What do you call athletes in France?

They're called Jacques.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DystanceLambda1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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I told my friend, β€œYou should take care of your athlete’s foot.”

He said, β€œThat’s what makes me a fun guy.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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Why did the athlete buy discounted protein?

Because it was whey cheaper

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

Missle toe.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N1NJA_CAR1B0U
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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What do you call a boring lady with athletes foot?

Anti fun gal.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flabden
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
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Who's the most famous Rasta athlete?

Tom Braidy! I'm sorry, that was dreadful.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Which athletes keep the warmest in the winter?

The Triple-Jumpers

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandyChristmas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
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If athletes get althlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Mistle toe!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ms-Creant
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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What do you call an Irish athlete with erectile dysfunction?

An O'Limpdick athlete.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
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My friend is a collegiate athlete. She said she wanted to quit swimming.

I said, "That's fine but please be careful. If you quit swimming at the wrong time, you could die."

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luke_Warmwater
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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NFL Bad Joke Telling: All the Classic DadJokes and with Athletes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqxBFY-M1KM

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nothumbs78
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
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Picked up a mild case of athlete's foot

But I treated it before it got a toe hold.

Wife's eyes almost rolled over completely when I laid that one on her.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjbehrendt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
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Why did the occasional athlete run between clocks?

Because he only exercised from time to time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fort221
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
🚨︎ report
The new Chinese athlete at the World Athletics Championships

Listening to the BBC coverage when the presenter said it was time to see Who Won What. I told my son and wife "Ah yes, the promising young Chinese athlete". The groaning is my victory!!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mooders
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
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Teacher dadjoked an athlete

The girl plays softball and had recently jad a game so he was talking to her about it:

Teacher: So what position do you play?

Student: I play first and second base and right field.

Teacher: Wow you must be really fast to play all of those positions in a game

Confusion and groans ring out among the students surrounding her and they proceed to stare at me as I chuckle in my seat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiefgarrett
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
🚨︎ report
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get?

Missile toe!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wopper51
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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