Jock Puns

Alge, bruh.

Not a direct joke, but I was glad to hear on the radio the other day that the inspiration behind the invention of the sports bra was a dad joke

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/09/29/554476966/40-years-of-athletic-support-happy-anniversary-to-the-sports-bra

It was a big weight off my shoulders.

We were going through the Halloween candy picking out what we want to keep and what we are going to donate. She found a little box of nerds and said she was going to keep them for my oldest daughter because she likes nerds. I replied proudly "I'd rather have her like nerds instead of jocks!." I laughed, she groaned.

https://twitter.com/McJock/status/1114607376911544320?s=20

So my dad loves to tell jokes, not one has ever been funny. So one day my GF was over and he decided to share a joke with her. He does. I look at him and I'm like "cmon Dad, that's horrible! U can do better" and laughed kinda like I was pitying him. He goes u think ur so cool huh?" He then got up grabbed me and locked me between his legs. So u all can understand, I'm 16 5"8 and thin. So not many people can't beat me. My dad is 6"3 and jacked. He looks likes mark wahlberg, from pain and gain, and that's not an overstatement. He then goes "what should we do now? How about an old fashioned wedgie!" He grabbed my underwear and pulled as hard as he could. "Why do u want to date a nerd that where's briefs? Haha" he's going. She starts laughing a little. He then goes "let's give u (GF) a better view" he then turns me around and lifts me up with a wedgie, "look at this dork dangle by his undies! Take a picture!" She did then pulled hard again and my underwear tore. He looked at me and went "maybe u shouldn't act like ur top dog kid, it'll get ur undies ripped right off." And she shared the pic around school, and know people come up to me saying "dude ur dad Is like a jock who gives u wedgies!" And makes fun of me for it. A couple of the seniors football player pinned me down and wedgied me so bad in the halls my underwear ripped off. And everyone was laughing. At least it happened at the end of the year so I only had 2 week of teasing. People have forgotten about. IT WAS horrible. And humiliating. So now I laugh at his jokes no matter how cringey they are, cause I fear his wedgies. Because their not regular. There delivered by a man who's biceps are bigger than my head. It's very painful. SO THE LESSON IS TO ALWAYS LAUGH AT DAD JOKES, escpeically if he can dangle u by ur undies!

Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend were in college. Now, Christina likes men with lots of testosterone, and her boyfriend was no exception, but the downside was, he was already losing his hair. "I would do something about it," he'd say, "but I don't know how much it would cost." One weekend they went to a student fair, and one of the campus groups was holding a couples' spelling contest. They were offering all kinds of gag items as prizes; condoms, jock straps, training bras, that sort of thing. The top prize for the winning guy was a hairpiece, valued at $100. So Christina helpfully suggested to her boyfriend, "If you won a bee with me, baby, there's a priced toupée!"