What do runners eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

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📅︎ Mar 22 2021
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If the winner of a competition cries happy tears, what does the runner up cry?

Second tears.

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📅︎ Mar 31 2021
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A marathon runner walks into a bar and the barman says

Hey why the long race?

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📅︎ Mar 15 2021
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

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📅︎ Feb 24 2021
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Why did the scandinavian runner leave the race early?

He couldn't finnish.

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📅︎ Feb 28 2021
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True Story. I went to pick up a couple of Italian Beef sandwiches curbside last night and as the runner approached with my order, the sandwiches broke through the gravy soaked paper bag and fell to the ground. She was extremely apologetic and said she would re-bag them for us. But I was livid!

I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.

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📅︎ Jan 25 2021
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I once finished runner-up in a Fidel Castro look-a-like contest.

Close, but no cigar.

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📅︎ Feb 08 2021
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Why did the distance runner buy a new pair of shoes?

It would be helpful in the long run.

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👤︎ u/ryxnisfy
📅︎ Dec 29 2020
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Why is Jesus a good runner

He does cross country

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📅︎ Oct 29 2020
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How do you call a runner when he is running from a cannibal?

Fast Food

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👤︎ u/69-nice420
📅︎ Sep 14 2020
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Marathon runners with bad footwear

suffer the agony of defeat.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ Jun 15 2020
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Due to covid-19, finland closed its borders to international marathon runners.

The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line

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👤︎ u/IGotSkills
📅︎ Aug 04 2020
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"What can you offer this restaraunt as the new food runner?"

"Well, I bring a lot to the table for starters.

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📅︎ Feb 02 2020
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How did the speed runner beat the world record on hair stylist simulator?

He took a shortcut.

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📅︎ Jul 04 2020
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Did you know Joseph Stalin was a fast runner?

That guy was a Soviet Rusha.

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📅︎ Feb 11 2020
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What do you call a Mexican long distance runner?

Ricardio

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📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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Competitive runners are just racists.
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📅︎ Mar 04 2019
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Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
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📅︎ Aug 12 2019
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What kind of underwear do long-distance runners wear?

Marathongs

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📅︎ Dec 30 2017
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My dad recieved a phone call from the magazine "Runner's World"

women on the phone asks:

  • "is (mother) home?"
  • dad: "no, she just ran off"
  • women: "oh, ok"

I dont think she got it.

edit: This is actually funnier how he said it in dutch (our native language). his words were "ze heeft ze benen genomen" which literally means " she has taken the legs".

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👤︎ u/fireflaai
📅︎ Mar 11 2015
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Did you hear about the injured runner who got last place in the competition?

I guess he was a sore loser.

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👤︎ u/ToonyCream
📅︎ Dec 02 2018
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What do you call a runner that sheds their skin?

Usain Molt.

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👤︎ u/MrPlay3r13
📅︎ Mar 27 2019
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Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?

They fast during Lent!

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📅︎ Mar 03 2019
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My mum was a 100M runner and my dad was a marathon runner.

Sadly, no one approved of their relationship.

In the old days no one like mixed race marriages.

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📅︎ Sep 29 2018
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What happened to the runner who had his feet reattached?

He was undefeeted.

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📅︎ Jul 17 2018
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Nearing the finish line, a marathon runner was so driven to win, that even when he pooped his pants, he continued on. When asked what he felt at that crucial moment, he replied...

"Undeterred" / "Undie turd"

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👤︎ u/p_noid
📅︎ Mar 12 2019
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How many issues do runners have?

Ten-issues.

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👤︎ u/cyphr0st
📅︎ Dec 03 2018
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Away must be a really slow runner.

'Cause everybody in history has passed him.

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📅︎ Nov 24 2018
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The baseball commissioner's new rule on runners attempting to steal second seems wrong

It's just way off base

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📅︎ Nov 25 2018
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📅︎ Dec 18 2017
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Track runners are my inspiration

Because they get over every hurdle in their way

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👤︎ u/cardiotoma
📅︎ Oct 04 2017
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What underwears do fast runners use?

Speedos

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📅︎ Dec 31 2017
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What do a backcountry hunter and a high school 100m runner have in common?

One goes to track meat, and the other goes to a track meet.

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👤︎ u/tuskvarner
📅︎ May 01 2017
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What do you call the runners up award at an astronomy competition?

A Constellation prize

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📅︎ Dec 23 2014
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The sexiest people tend to be runners.

In fact, they're quite attracktive.

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📅︎ Oct 20 2017
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At work in a restaurant, the food runner dropped a to-go container for an order

So I said "You butternut squash it!"

And they still wouldn't send me home

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👤︎ u/trent_pee
📅︎ Sep 03 2016
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[daily jumble] After his heart surgery, the marathon runner was happy to once again be a...

...pace-maker

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📅︎ Apr 24 2014
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I said to my father, "these runner's lights...

are certainly a flashin statement."

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👤︎ u/Maccilia
📅︎ Oct 13 2016
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What's a runners favorite class in school

Jography

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👤︎ u/landon444
📅︎ Jun 05 2016
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What do cross-country runners eat before a big race?

Nothing. They fast!

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📅︎ Nov 29 2020
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What do runners eat the day before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

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📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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What should runners eat before a race?

Fast food

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👤︎ u/mycorona69
📅︎ Jul 31 2020
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 03 2019
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?

He just took it in stride

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 05 2019
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What kind of underwear do long distance runners wear?

Marathongs

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📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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A runner had to pick up the pace

It fell on him

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👤︎ u/K_Al-Shaya
📅︎ Dec 11 2018
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