What do you call a knock-off lego rug with political views?
A Duplo mat
My buddy likes to jog in place on the rug in his hall.
He’s a carpet runner.
What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't worry man, I got you covered.
My roommate Esther and I wanted to get a new rug for our apartment, but we didn't have a tape measure. So we had to use Esther's height to guess the approximate dimensions we wanted. We bought a rug one Esther wide by two Esthers long. You could say we...
What happens if you trip on the rug and spill...
...carpet cleaner?
My grandma used to pretend she was weaving rugs when she had to think. When she died, she passed the talent to my children.
It's a cherished air-loom in my family.
Where does spaghetti go to cut a rug?
The Meat Ball
I keep a little rug on the passenger seat. It keeps me company while I’m driving and I give it a rub from time to time.
It’s my car pet.
I spilled milk on my grandma's rug
It was a pour decision
My friend invited me to his house to see his new Oriental rug.
Turns out it was a toupee made in China.
My 68-year old friend wants to spend the last years of her life making rugs...
Her retirement is looming.
Asked my dad why he was using the lint roller on the rug...
He responded with, "Because that's how I roll"
I named the dog that sleeps in my car "Rug".
He's a car-pet.
That’s one of those rug doctors...
They’re steaming mad at dirt.
Start a shop selling rugs, mats etc. Call it...
Carpet Diem
For motivation, my friend buys a new rug every day
His motto is ‘carpet diem’
Why was the rug self-conscious?
Because it was floored.
Why did the dog refuse to get off the rug?
Because pawsession is nine-tenths of the law
The welcome mat is a gateway rug.
Family got a Millennium Falcon rug for my birthday.
http://imgur.com/f20P0zK
I call it the "Kessel Runner".
I told my girlfriend my deerskin rug is shedding.
"Shedding?" she asked. "Yeah. It's like barning but smaller." That's the biggest groan I've gotten out of her yet.
Did you hear what happened to the British rug sales during WW2
They were all carpet bombed. Since then there's been a blanket ban on them.
While buying a rug...
Me: I like this rug! What do you think?
My dad: It's very... rugged.
