What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't worry man, I got you covered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nota_person
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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What happens if you trip on the rug and spill...

...carpet cleaner?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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My grandma used to pretend she was weaving rugs when she had to think. When she died, she passed the talent to my children.

It's a cherished air-loom in my family.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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My roommate Esther and I wanted to get a new rug for our apartment, but we didn't have a tape measure. So we had to use Esther's height to guess the approximate dimensions we wanted. We bought a rug one Esther wide by two Esthers long. You could say we...
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/modestmolerat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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I spilled milk on my grandma's rug

It was a pour decision

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TJPancaker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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My friend invited me to his house to see his new Oriental rug.

Turns out it was a toupee made in China.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I keep a little rug on the passenger seat. It keeps me company while I’m driving and I give it a rub from time to time.

It’s my car pet.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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Where does spaghetti go to cut a rug?

The Meat Ball

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Would you like some rugs?
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoggoWithGlasses
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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My 68-year old friend wants to spend the last years of her life making rugs...

Her retirement is looming.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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That’s one of those rug doctors...

They’re steaming mad at dirt.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fourchubio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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I named the dog that sleeps in my car "Rug".

He's a car-pet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlduinIsAGeordie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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For motivation, my friend buys a new rug every day

His motto is β€˜carpet diem’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Asked my dad why he was using the lint roller on the rug...

He responded with, "Because that's how I roll"

πŸ‘︎ 509
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tainted_memory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
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Why was the rug self-conscious?

Because it was floored.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Why did the dog refuse to get off the rug?

Because pawsession is nine-tenths of the law

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redderdrewcalf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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Start a shop selling rugs, mats etc. Call it...

Carpet Diem

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterconjuror
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
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The welcome mat is a gateway rug.
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
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Family got a Millennium Falcon rug for my birthday.

http://imgur.com/f20P0zK

I call it the "Kessel Runner".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jehannum_505
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2016
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I told my girlfriend my deerskin rug is shedding.

"Shedding?" she asked. "Yeah. It's like barning but smaller." That's the biggest groan I've gotten out of her yet.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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Did you hear what happened to the British rug sales during WW2

They were all carpet bombed. Since then there's been a blanket ban on them.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiraxHS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
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While buying a rug...

Me: I like this rug! What do you think?

My dad: It's very... rugged.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skyesthelimit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
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