What does a runner eat before a marathon?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I told the cop, βYou canβt give me a ticket. Iβm running a marathon tomorrow.β
The cop said, βSir, thatβs not how you play the race card.β
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︎ Oct 27 2020
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasnβt awarded a gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
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︎ May 19 2020
I hired a coach for an upcoming marathon. She gave me a run for my money.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
I was going on an illegal half marathon yesterday and the cops caught me.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Why did the fat Indian girl decide to run a marathon?
She was a very moti-weighted person.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I have a marathon to be at tonight.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Why does the minute hate running marathons?
No matter how fast it runs, it's always 60 second...
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Me and my friend went to a marathon..
There I saw a joke participating in the marathon.
I told my friend," I didn't know jokes could run"
He said," Its a running gag"
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Did you hear who won the Bangkok Marathon?
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Marathon runners with bad footwear
suffer the agony of defeat.
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︎ Jun 15 2020
Due to covid-19, finland closed its borders to international marathon runners.
The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 04 2020
Reason why you should take up marathon training
It will help you in the long run.
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︎ Mar 14 2020
My friend must like to train for running the marathon...
Every time I want to meet him at the bar, he has the runs!
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Do you guys know about that dumb "Sore Us" marathon for charity?
You're supposed to run until you can't anymore or something like that...? I was thinking of trying one out but honestly I don't know how good I'd do I'm an awful runner...
My friend Tyrell tried one last year and said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done...
I still can't believe Tyrannosaurus
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︎ May 11 2020
What Do Gordon Ramsey's Calf's Feel Like After Running A Marathon?
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︎ Jun 17 2020
How to run a marathon:
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10
...
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︎ Mar 22 2020
Iβm never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
π︎ 9k
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︎ Feb 18 2019
My nephew does well in marathons but poorly in the 100 yard dash...
He's better off in the long run.
π︎ 40
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︎ May 16 2020
I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.
So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.
π︎ 14
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︎ May 25 2020
I nearly missed the marathon yesterday
π︎ 10
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︎ May 10 2020
Welcome to todayβs Communist Marathon...
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 05 2020
What do you call a marathon for Pastors?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Why did the widow join a marathon?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
The Fast Food Marathon [OC]
π︎ 36
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︎ Aug 09 2019
Once again the marathon winner hails from east Africa.
Kenya believe their dominance
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︎ Jan 17 2020
Lent is the best time of the year to run a marathon.
Because that's when you fast.
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︎ Mar 09 2019
Me: Sir, you canβt give me a ticket for speeding. I am planning to run a Marathon today.
Cop: Stop playing the race card.
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︎ Dec 05 2018
Iβve decided never to give a donation to people collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
Did you hear about the Swedish national cross-country marathon?
The winner was the first to cross the Finnish line.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
My son beat my neighbor in a marathon race.
He's now in custody for assault.
π︎ 64
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︎ Jun 16 2019
Have you heard the one about the guy in the marathon?
Really, you haven't? It's a long running joke
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
I tried doing a sketch while running a marathon
But I kept on getting jogged
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 25 2019
A cattle farmer has had to pull out of the local marathon.
It was due to a calf injury.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 17 2019
I've been practicing for marathons every single day.
I think that will help me a lot in the long run.
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︎ Jan 18 2019
A man moaned about his aching leg, whilst training for the marathon.
βDonβt worry about itβ his friend said, βitβll be worth it in the long runβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
Where did the Scandinavian marathon end?
π︎ 65
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︎ Sep 10 2018
Did I ever tell you about the time I signed up for a marathon but forgot when and where it started?
No? Oh boy, where do I begin?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 10 2019
I donβt like marathons
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 09 2019
Wish me luck in the London Marathon today. I managed a respectable, 3 hours, 12 minutes, last year...
This year, I will try to beat that but, I usually get bored and end up turning over to watch something else...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 28 2019
Paul McCartney was disqualified from the London Marathon this weekend
He was banned on the run.
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 30 2019
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasnβt given the gold medal.
The Chinese authorities refuse to recognize Ty Won.
π︎ 681
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︎ Apr 09 2020
My friend Ty won the Beijing marathon, but wasnβt awarded a gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
π︎ 93
π
︎ Jan 05 2020
My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon, but was not given the gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
π︎ 147
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
Is a half marathon, just a ...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
What is a marathon for pastors called?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
What is one reason to not run a marathon?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 14 2019
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