A clock started training for a marathon
Now everyone's mad it runs fast.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 14 2021
John Maynard Keynes opposed the creation of the London Marathon.
He thought we'd all die in the long run.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 28 2021
What happens when a Hogwarts student runs a marathon then trips and hits their head...
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 14 2021
Did you hear about the nudist who competed in the Marathon?
π︎ 48
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
A marathon runner walks into a bar and the barman says
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Me to cop: "You cant arrest me.I have a marathon to run."
Cop: "Stop playing the race card."
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasnβt awarded a gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ May 19 2020
I told the cop, βYou canβt give me a ticket. Iβm running a marathon tomorrow.β
The cop said, βSir, thatβs not how you play the race card.β
π︎ 199
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
I hired a coach for an upcoming marathon. She gave me a run for my money.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
Why did the fat Indian girl decide to run a marathon?
She was a very moti-weighted person.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
I was going on an illegal half marathon yesterday and the cops caught me.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I have a marathon to be at tonight.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Why does the minute hate running marathons?
No matter how fast it runs, it's always 60 second...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Reason why you should take up marathon training
It will help you in the long run.
π︎ 286
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
Iβm never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 18 2019
Marathon runners with bad footwear
suffer the agony of defeat.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
Did you hear who won the Bangkok Marathon?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
Me and my friend went to a marathon..
There I saw a joke participating in the marathon.
I told my friend," I didn't know jokes could run"
He said," Its a running gag"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Due to covid-19, finland closed its borders to international marathon runners.
The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
My friend must like to train for running the marathon...
Every time I want to meet him at the bar, he has the runs!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
How to run a marathon:
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10
...
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
What Do Gordon Ramsey's Calf's Feel Like After Running A Marathon?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
My nephew does well in marathons but poorly in the 100 yard dash...
He's better off in the long run.
π︎ 47
π
︎ May 16 2020
I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.
So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 25 2020
I nearly missed the marathon yesterday
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 10 2020
Welcome to todayβs Communist Marathon...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
Lent is the best time of the year to run a marathon.
Because that's when you fast.
π︎ 222
π
︎ Mar 09 2019
The Fast Food Marathon [OC]
π︎ 34
π
︎ Aug 09 2019
What do you call a marathon for Pastors?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Why did the widow join a marathon?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
Me: Sir, you canβt give me a ticket for speeding. I am planning to run a Marathon today.
Cop: Stop playing the race card.
π︎ 567
π
︎ Dec 05 2018
Iβve decided never to give a donation to people collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
My son beat my neighbor in a marathon race.
He's now in custody for assault.
π︎ 64
π
︎ Jun 16 2019
Did you hear about the Swedish national cross-country marathon?
The winner was the first to cross the Finnish line.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
I've been practicing for marathons every single day.
I think that will help me a lot in the long run.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 18 2019
Have you heard the one about the guy in the marathon?
Really, you haven't? It's a long running joke
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
A cattle farmer has had to pull out of the local marathon.
It was due to a calf injury.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
I tried doing a sketch while running a marathon
But I kept on getting jogged
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 25 2019
Where did the Scandinavian marathon end?
π︎ 62
π
︎ Sep 10 2018
A man moaned about his aching leg, whilst training for the marathon.
βDonβt worry about itβ his friend said, βitβll be worth it in the long runβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasnβt given the gold medal.
The Chinese authorities refuse to recognize Ty Won.
π︎ 679
π
︎ Apr 09 2020
My friend Ty won the Beijing marathon, but wasnβt awarded a gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
π︎ 92
π
︎ Jan 05 2020
My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon, but was not given the gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
π︎ 148
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
Is a half marathon, just a ...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
What is a marathon for pastors called?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
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