World Record Puns

He only lives a stone's throw away

It has been 43 years and I still cannot solve it.

For the World’s Youngest Human Being.

Then the librarian told me to take it out.

He took a shortcut.

But I just couldn’t hack it

He was de-throned.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

No?

Well, it was a long shot.

And now I'm no longer allowed in the library

He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone’s throw away, in fact.

He was at the peak of productivity

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognized none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir," says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it," he says, "I am the worlds leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I really am terribly sorry," says the young assistant, "I've just realised I was playing you the bee side!"

A criminal record.

It turns out the banjo will really bring down your lap time.

https://youtu.be/Qi-qG-fd7jw

At least until the Librarian caught me.