I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift
That's why it's called PRESENT.
I’ve just started my new book: ‘the history of glue’
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,
He said, “Don’t. There’s no future in it.”
I’m reading a book on the history of glue....
I can’t seem to put it down.
If you're into gaming history, then you must play on the classic consoles,
My teacher said my history is bad
I always use incognito mode.
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head
How do you get an art history major off your front porch ?
I bought this book called “The History of Glue”.
I can’t seem to put it down.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Istanbul kept changing its name over the course of history
We could say it wasn't Constantly Nople.
What is the most indifferent country in world history?
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren’t very supportive. They kept telling him to “Get with the times...
I learned about these people in history class last month I feel smart
What’s a horse’s favourite decade in recent history?
I have a history class now.
I ain't that crazy about it. I think it's best left in the past.
DROP YOUR BEST PUNS FOR HISTORY DRINKING GAME
I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.
Let's see what you can do!
What you need to know about the game:
- You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
- Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
- You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.
That's basically it.
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.”
..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.
I am reading a book on the history of lubricants.
Gabe was muttering incoherently. He'd been up all night studying for the history exam.
I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.
"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."
"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."
What happens if you drink too much history?
H/t Mr Miller from 1982. This was how he started class.
I was studying for my history exam and really struggling. I asked my mum what I should do...
“Why don’t you help me with the laundry? Its whites today.” She said.
“How will that help?” I asked.
“Well I hear whitewashing is good for revising history.”
My son needed a history tutor, so I handed him some cereal and a scale
“Time to learn about Chex and balances”
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?
The dot "."
It has ended more sentences than anything else.
Have I not yet told you my summary about the history of clocks?
My brother is starting a history degree and one of his modules is studying the Stuarts
My dad asked, "Jackie or Rod?"
Found a book on american history and no mention of Native Americans
This is apache version of history I thought
My friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes. Now we call him Dr Awkward.
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.
I figure, what do I have Toulouse.
History has been primarily written by men
That's why it's called his story
Son: what was the first dad joke in history?
Dad: probably I’mroglyphics
Dad: Hieroglyphics I’m dad!
I’m not a fan of Van Gough’s history of insanity...
My cat has opinions about Chinese history. I asked him who their best leader in modern history is:
Where did the onion find his family history?
Medusa has to be the sexiest woman in history
one look and you are rock hard
Finally finished my huge book on the history of clocks.
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.
My son said his friend wanted to know about history but was hesitant about learning.
I told him that all it takes is... APUSH. (AP U.S History)
Sorry if this wasn’t as funny as it sounded in my head.
My least favorite subject in school was ancient history.
The teacher always tended to Babylon
Today I learned the history of Benadryl.
Turns out it used to be a drill.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?