history pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aragonForFrodo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
Today I rewrote history

History

History

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/338geek
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22
🚨︎ report
Have I not yet told you my summary about the history of clocks?

Well, it's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustHumanGarbage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
I’m not a fan of Van Gough’s history of insanity...

I find it very EARie.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BredSolid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.

I figure, what do I have Toulouse.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
My son said his friend wanted to know about history but was hesitant about learning.

I told him that all it takes is... APUSH. (AP U.S History) Sorry if this wasn’t as funny as it sounded in my head.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeet_Boi21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
🚨︎ report
Son: what was the first dad joke in history?

Dad: probably I’mroglyphics

Son: I’mroglyphics?

Dad: Hieroglyphics I’m dad!

Edit: formatting

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jncummins86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

Because there was so many knights

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BULbyCharTOle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?

She grated it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franticsword
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
My least favorite subject in school was ancient history.

The teacher always tended to Babylon

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swift-Carrots
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
Today I learned the history of Benadryl.

Turns out it used to be a drill.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sezirblue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Finally finished my huge book on the history of clocks.

It's about time.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Medusa has to be the sexiest woman in history

one look and you are rock hard

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12cheese21
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
My english teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.

I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moonxmochi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
History has shown that during the Cold War, the US warheads feared a Soviet nuclear strike

They really went bunkers

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Projkt88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
I put out a weekly audio show about the history of fish.

It’s my codpast.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
A history one
πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pullin_trigger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
My friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes. Now we call him Dr Awkward.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mefingers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I just read about the most ground breaking invention in the history of humanity

It’s a shovel

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sergio_the_pro
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Just read a book about the history of glue

I couldn’t put it down

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.

I just can't seem to put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
History lessons

When I fight with my wife, she keeps getting historical.

You mean, hysterical, right?

No, she keeps bringing up the past

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/checker280
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Today I rewrote history
πŸ‘︎ 229
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChronicCronut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Which medieval line of work has been the most let down throughout history?

Guards.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phripheoniks
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...

The Owl Jizz Era News.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nutsacktetherball
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
If I write β€œhistory” twice on a a page...

...does it mean I’ve rewritten history?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weetabix_gryphon
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
"My name is History, and my name is History...

...Sorry, I tend to repeat myself."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InSearchofOMG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI β€˜s head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 30k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t electricity like History class?

Because it’s only interested in current events.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mockgamingnews
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
My favorite thing ever in the history of the world is hyperbole.

Actually, it might be second-guessing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomejt8
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
They say history is written by the victors

...but they never say why every historian is named Victor

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huxtiblejones
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What incident in history was the hacker involved in?

He was Nero burning Rom.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Somebody_Nobody93
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
Got bored on history lesson
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k0k0nut3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
When discussing my history of eye inflammation at the optometrist, I was advised to look up information on conjunctivitis.com.

It's a site for sore eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
I just finished reading a book on the history of metal fasteners.

I have to say it was absolutely riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
They celebrate the trials and tribulations of the inventors of Kotex today during Women's History Month!

It's a rags to riches story

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
The Queen just knighted the first cow in history.

He is Sirloin.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoVeryKerry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
We just threw my kid’s history teacher a birthday party.

I still don’t think he likes the present.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
What's the worst thing about ancient history class?

The teachers tend to Babylon.

πŸ‘︎ 205
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend got a Ph.D. on the History of Palindromes.

He’s now Dr. Awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a date with a history teacher, but I don’t think we’ll have a second one

She kept bringing up the past.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/freakazoidd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
What did the teacher do with the students report on the history of Cheese

She grated it!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tricky_Nick007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
History Lesson

History Lesson

In the Middle Ages people who had troublesome daughters sent them to nunneries so as to do something with their lives. However, doing that was a bit expensive so poorer families sent their daughters to become an anchorite. So for those families, becoming an Anchorite was second to nun

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MeagaMillion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The crosseyed history teacher

Could not control her pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timned88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
In the interest of history, I tried to read Adolf Hitler's manifesto.

But it was too Kampflicated.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Anyone can rewrite history. Lol
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RunnerDee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss yelled at me the other day, β€œYou’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"

I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book called "The History of Lubricants".

It's non-friction.

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoopdebop
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wrote an article about the history of the menstrual cycle...

It's a period piece.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I just unsubscribed from r/history/.

There’s never anything new on there.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a snake who teaches history?

A hisssstory teacher

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DB1_5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If you take notes in History class are you then re-writing history?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karlinsven
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife recently asked if I wanted to watch the biodrama on the history of tampons,

I said sure, I love period pieces.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zardif
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm going to rewrite history

History

πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXn00b_SlayerXx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend's brother wrote an article on the history of crosswords...

It was a puzzle piece.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...

but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeWunderY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was reading through London history and thought it was interesting to learn what happened to King Charles the First’s head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theonlyrealnoah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I checked up on my son's internet history, and there wasn't anything.

Apart from three days ago when he searched: 'How to use incognito mode'.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Seen at Museum of Natural History in London
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ana_Xr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
This is now a pizza history. We cannoli do so much.
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Billyb0bj03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My son gets really excited when we go to the natural history museum. When he gets near the prehistoric bones, he just explodes with excitement and I can't deal with is new strength.

I'm just not qualified to handle his dino-might.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leniski1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a multi-volume encyclopedia about Egyptian mythology and history. Bought the full Set.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerdfighter8842
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
History is good

U know the Chinese were the first to make a folding book

I guess the didn’t know how the future would unfold

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alteriakaen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I can tolerate the math class, or even the history class

...but the art class is where I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fixdoll_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How do nurses and doctors keep people from lying about their medical history?

They use the de-FIB-rillator. Works every time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkidWilly86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
In college I studied American history and fashion design...

My final project was "Gettysburg, a dress".

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kainer1000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
History lesson

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TibtibThePrincess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history.

You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm writing a book based off quotations from the best-selling authors in history

I'm calling it Crazy Rich Citations

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pikk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What would AC/DC be called if they started singing about history?

AD/BC

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctureas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
it's all history
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sedatetoucan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL: The first musical genius known in history was Sisyphus.

He was the original master of rock and roll.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister called my dad today to ask if there’s any history of glaucoma on his side of the family.

My dad: β€œNone that I’ve seen!”

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/willumis2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
History is amazing for shit like this:
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A true history lesson

While the king was trying to decide what to name its guards, his wife walked into the room. She said β€œhoney, I’m going to bed.” The king was preoccupied with his thinking and shortly said β€œk. Night.” Then moments later went β€œbabe you’re a genius! Knight!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayleigh2020
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
History lesson
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I have been trying to convince people on a military history subreddit that I’m French.

Finally I gave up.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I watch the History Channel a lot. I’ve become an expert, actually. Ask me anything,

about American Pickers.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
In the history of superheroes, "The Spleen" is the most bad-ass.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrrhios
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?

She grated it 😜

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrOwls247
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI β€˜s head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I am reading a book called β€œThe History of Lubricants.”

It’s non-friction.

πŸ‘︎ 437
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the worst thing about ancient history class?

The teachers tend to Babylon.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI 's head.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skylly100
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I am reading a book called β€œThe History of Lubricants.”

It’s non-friction.

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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