My friend put a picture of graffiti on her story, puns were made.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrMattXD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2017
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Toy story pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Levsi09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2019
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The Moral Of The Story (Pun Collection) slatestarcodex.com/2016/1…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Escapement
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2016
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It turns out the capitol rioter did NOT accidentally kill himself with a taser to the balls and the story was just made up to disrespect him...

I don't think anyone is shocked.

(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/christag
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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There is a species of frog that can jump higher than a 3 story house

This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cornedbeefhash1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. β€œKobe!” I shout. β€œNo.” He says in a disappointed tone...

...Colby

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CutieWitaBooty2013
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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Did you hear the story about the magical tractor?

It turned into a field.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheDemonPants
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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I was gonna tell a story about my buddies jogging club,

But it's just a running joke among friends

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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True story: My family and I were walking at an apple orchard today when my 6-year-old noticed a discarded apple and asked "Why is there an apple under a pine tree?"

I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."

Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Etereve
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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Do you know the story about the chicken that crossed the border?

Me neither, I couldn't follow it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/longestyeahboiiyet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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A surgeon told me a story about how he dropped a tool into a patients stomach once.

It was gut wrenching.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yourlife602
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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What bed time story is a favourite among all trees?

Little red riding wood

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bunion_ring
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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To cut a long story short

I became a film editor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 78
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
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I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.

Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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Why do stories have plot holes?

Like the holes in a container,

To let the the characters breathe and live.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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Did you see that news story about corduroy pillowcases?

They’re making headlines everywhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/YoureSpecial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
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(True story) My GF asked me to kill a spider in the bathroom today.

It was so small that I couldn't even see it at first. She had to point it out, a tiny brown pinhead crawling up our slightly-darker-brown cabinet about knee-high.

"How did you even see that?" I asked.

And she answered, "With my spider-sense."

I love this woman so, so much.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/QuentinTarantulatino
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.

How do you kill a blue elephant? (How?) With a blue elephant gun.

How you you kill a pink elephant? (With a pink elephant gun?) No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? (No clue...?) So they can hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (Of course not) Then clearly it works

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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Where do mirrors keep their life stories?

In their reflection journal

No, not funny

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Molotov_YouTube
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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What building has the most stories?

The library. (Daughter dropped this on me yesterday. So proud!)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Make_it_perfect
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
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I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa

and then I realized vampires are killed by holy water...they blessed the rains down in Africa

πŸ‘οΈŽ 84
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/John_Doez_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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I have a dirty story about a couple of chickens in a motel room...

It's just two fowl to discuss

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.

So they're pretty much all one-liners.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HunterSwan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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A true story

So, I’m standing outside my office building with my older, wiser coworker, when he points up at a flock of geese flying in a V.

Me: [looks at the geese coworker is pointing to]

Coworker: β€œyou notice how one side of the V is longer than the other?”

Me: β€œyeah”

Coworker: β€œdo you know why that is?”

Me: β€œhmm... no”

Coworker: β€œthere’s more birds on that side”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sensitive-Bear
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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What is a pasta maker’s favorite children’s story?

Pi-gnocchi-o

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xkrazijayx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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I got sad while reading a story about a deer who died from a hydraulic press...

It was very deer-pressing...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SmolloSmoller
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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Why are there no Vampire stories that take place in Africa?

I thought about this for awhile, then it hit me that Vampires are weak to holy water. The rains are blessed down in Africa.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CaptainB_MANN
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2020
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Why are stories about Nascars so satisfying?

Because they always come full circle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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Beauty and the Beast is a great story about a beast who is almost condemned to be stuck as a beast forever but gets...

saved by the Belle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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What do you call it when a car writes its life story?

An auto-biography!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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Why don't people believe giraffes' stories?

Because they tell tall tales.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FresnelFaro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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Was reading a mountain survival story to my son...

"...the boy returned to his camp, where a rabbit was cooking..."
My son: cooking what?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TinkererJim
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
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Conspiracy theorists will never be able to find the true story of the coronavirus' origins...

It was all COVID up

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/msboogers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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True story: Driving back home, my 5 year old son says "How do you spell 'penis'?". My wife looks at me curiously and then asks "Why?"

After a few moments of silence, my son replies "That's it?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imgenerallyagoodguy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2019
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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A short story about cheese.

K, so...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SabySins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2020
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A paper airplane went down from a 2 story building

I guess it went down a flight of stairs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_K_Tran
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2020
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It’s October, wanna hear a ghost story?

I was supposed to meet a girl for lunch, but I never showed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/esthor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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A shocking story

My freshman year in high school (96-97), I was in choir, and we drove up in a big coach bus to Magic Mountain for a choir competition.

Approaching San Onofre, the driver told us a "little known fact" that if you put your hand on the window while passing under those jumbo power lines coming from the plant, you can feel a moderately painful shock. Being gullible teenagers, a lot of us tried it.

We passed under, and the driver asked if we felt any pain. There were scattered replies in the negative. The diver said, "You didn't feel the window pane?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wasntmyproudest
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2020
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True Story - I saw a guy walking along with two huge mattresses strapped to his rucksack...

...I thought, at least he has something to fall back on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SweetCoverDrive
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
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Let's make a long story short

Fin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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Fishy story
πŸ‘οΈŽ 105
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MostExpensiveThing
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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Shaggy dog story?

I saw a shaggy dog on here maybe a month ago. It was about a couple kids in a haunted house. If anyone could put me in the right direction that would be much appreciated

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CmanSwish
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
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To cut a long story short

I became a film editor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 96
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.

Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hurdydurdydurdydur
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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