I don't think anyone is shocked.
This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.
It turned into a field.
But it's just a running joke among friends
I responded without missing a beat, "That, my son, is a pine apple."
Shoutout to the mom passing by who witnessed and appreciated this gem.
Me neither, I couldn't follow it.
It was gut wrenching.
Little red riding wood
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
Like the holes in a container,
To let the the characters breathe and live.
They’re making headlines everywhere.
It was so small that I couldn't even see it at first. She had to point it out, a tiny brown pinhead crawling up our slightly-darker-brown cabinet about knee-high.
"How did you even see that?" I asked.
And she answered, "With my spider-sense."
I love this woman so, so much.
How do you kill a blue elephant? (How?) With a blue elephant gun.
How you you kill a pink elephant? (With a pink elephant gun?) No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun
Why do elephants paint their toenails red? (No clue...?) So they can hide in cherry trees
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (Of course not) Then clearly it works
In their reflection journal
No, not funny
The library. (Daughter dropped this on me yesterday. So proud!)
and then I realized vampires are killed by holy water...they blessed the rains down in Africa
It's just two fowl to discuss
So they're pretty much all one-liners.
So, I’m standing outside my office building with my older, wiser coworker, when he points up at a flock of geese flying in a V.
Me: [looks at the geese coworker is pointing to]
Coworker: “you notice how one side of the V is longer than the other?”
Coworker: “do you know why that is?”
Me: “hmm... no”
Coworker: “there’s more birds on that side”
It was very deer-pressing...
I thought about this for awhile, then it hit me that Vampires are weak to holy water. The rains are blessed down in Africa.
Because they always come full circle
saved by the Belle
Because they tell tall tales.
"...the boy returned to his camp, where a rabbit was cooking..."
My son: cooking what?
It was all COVID up
After a few moments of silence, my son replies "That's it?"
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor... keep reading on reddit ➡
I guess it went down a flight of stairs.
I was supposed to meet a girl for lunch, but I never showed.
My freshman year in high school (96-97), I was in choir, and we drove up in a big coach bus to Magic Mountain for a choir competition.
Approaching San Onofre, the driver told us a "little known fact" that if you put your hand on the window while passing under those jumbo power lines coming from the plant, you can feel a moderately painful shock. Being gullible teenagers, a lot of us tried it.
We passed under, and the driver asked if we felt any pain. There were scattered replies in the negative. The diver said, "You didn't feel the window pane?"
...I thought, at least he has something to fall back on.
I saw a shaggy dog on here maybe a month ago. It was about a couple kids in a haunted house. If anyone could put me in the right direction that would be much appreciated
I became a film editor