Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.
There once was a greedy ore mining magnate who wished that everything he touched would turn into iron. He was careful to always wear gloves except when making huge loads of ore, except for one day when a mosquito landed on his knee. Not thinking, the magnate slapped his leg with his exposed hand. His knee immediately became metallic and the sudden change to his blood pressure caused almost instantaneous death.
Later in the morgue the Coroner noted that it was a classic example of situational iron knee.
Let that sink in
Farmers pay them a competitive wage.
It's for people who were aiming for legendary status, but they just mythed.
A leprechaundriac.
It was invented by the "Man" to keep you down.
Because he used him as a Scapegoat.
Her name was Himcules
The man, The myth. The leg end.
Yeti does.
That has always been my Achillesβ elbow.
Counter intuitive.
There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor. When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Thatβs a myth; you have forearms.
My wife said "You know, butterflies only live for a week?" I replied, "I think you'll find that's a myth." "No," she said, "Its definitely a butterfly."
Keeps calling it a hippo potty myth
But I was myth-taken.
I am doing an extra credit project where I am making a "Date Me" page for the Greek god Zeus. Any puns (cheesy or not) are greatly appreciated. Thank you! :D
Legend tells of an incredible hero: Carto-Man. Half of his body is a regular human, but the other half is made up of a key from a map.
The man, the myth, the legend
Any time we'd go to drive somewhere... "And we're off like a herd of turtles!"
"What would you like to eat?" "Food." "What kind of food?" "Edible food."
"If you're American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom? European!"
"I'm thirsty!" "Hello Thursday, My name's Friday. Would you like to go out on Saturday and have a Sunday?"
And then, of course, he convinced me (or maybe I made it up in my little head?) that if I drank enough carrot juice I would be able to see in the dark, haha.
Wish I could remember more... He passed away when I was 8 or so. I'll happily share more if I remember them sometime. Heh, when he told my sister and I that he had cancer he insisted he had probably just swallowed a big crouton. :')
But we just call that Grannyβs myth.
It's just a swig and a myth
Told my dad I was having trouble finding the right girl. He just smiled and said, "It's all just a myth man, I found your mother on my left."
Turns out it was just an azi-myth
but realised it would be huge myth-steak.
GF: "So there's this myth among us women that ----"
Me: "Of course it was just among you women, if it was among men, it would be a myth-ter."
She loved it.
People really myth judge him.
Me: "No it doesn't, that's just a myth."
Dad: "Maybe it's just myth-understood."
So my younger brother was talking about his Latin class and how on Fridays his teacher has culture friday, or a lesson on Greek Mythology. He was talking about the myth he learned about last week when my dad replied with this...
Brother: "Last week we learned about syphilis and how he pushes the rock up the hill again and again."
Dad: "I think you mean sisyphus, syphilis was a Greek god but he was a real dick."
I laughed, my mom groaned, and my brother sat there confused. A successful family dinner if you ask me.
The man, the myth, the leg end.
