There's a rather unknown Greek myth that involved Zeus farting so loudly that it caused powerful lightning storms all over Greece. Panic and chaos ensued, and there was widespread looting as fires raged out on control.

Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hollowbody57
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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I invented a new myth to delight my kids

There once was a greedy ore mining magnate who wished that everything he touched would turn into iron. He was careful to always wear gloves except when making huge loads of ore, except for one day when a mosquito landed on his knee. Not thinking, the magnate slapped his leg with his exposed hand. His knee immediately became metallic and the sudden change to his blood pressure caused almost instantaneous death.

Later in the morgue the Coroner noted that it was a classic example of situational iron knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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I myth you too
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jothebest75
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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The man, the myth, the legend
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HailBROSEIDON
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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Titanic is just a myth

Let that sink in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alex26621
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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PRO TIP: The biggest myth about travel is "packing light" - don't bother! Light is available from the sun and artificial sources worldwide.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diok22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
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The Man, The Myth, The Leg End
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanlynds
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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Cow tipping is just an urban myth.

Farmers pay them a competitive wage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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Do you know where the word "myth" comes from?

It's for people who were aiming for legendary status, but they just mythed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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What do you call a man who suffers from the persistent delusion that he's a creature from Irish myth?

A leprechaundriac.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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Did you hear that gravity is a myth?

It was invented by the "Man" to keep you down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbeowulf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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Why is Jesus the "Lamb of God?"

Because he used him as a Scapegoat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KilledBySloths
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.

Her name was Himcules

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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The Count
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahydron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What was Achilles’ weakness?

The man, The myth. The leg end.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...

Yeti does.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fingerbob73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.

That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
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What do you call an organized kitchen?

Counter intuitive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caseystrom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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My Favorite Dad Joke

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor. When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fracturedsplintX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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They say humans only have two arms

That’s a myth; you have forearms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LAUGHgan1stan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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My wife said..

My wife said "You know, butterflies only live for a week?" I replied, "I think you'll find that's a myth." "No," she said, "Its definitely a butterfly."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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I told Mike Tyson about the hippo that's trained to use a toilet, but he seemed skeptical.

Keeps calling it a hippo potty myth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omnomnosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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I thought someone robbed my book on "The Illiad and the Odessey."

But I was myth-taken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Need help with Zeus puns.

I am doing an extra credit project where I am making a "Date Me" page for the Greek god Zeus. Any puns (cheesy or not) are greatly appreciated. Thank you! :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonRB
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2014
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Legend tells of an incredible hero...

Legend tells of an incredible hero: Carto-Man. Half of his body is a regular human, but the other half is made up of a key from a map.

The man, the myth, the legend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/purevermonter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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Some gems from my old man...

Any time we'd go to drive somewhere... "And we're off like a herd of turtles!"

"What would you like to eat?" "Food." "What kind of food?" "Edible food."

"If you're American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom? European!"

"I'm thirsty!" "Hello Thursday, My name's Friday. Would you like to go out on Saturday and have a Sunday?"

And then, of course, he convinced me (or maybe I made it up in my little head?) that if I drank enough carrot juice I would be able to see in the dark, haha.

Wish I could remember more... He passed away when I was 8 or so. I'll happily share more if I remember them sometime. Heh, when he told my sister and I that he had cancer he insisted he had probably just swallowed a big crouton. :')

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xingped
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2013
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My grandma has this crazy idea about an apple that’s sour and way better than any other apple.

But we just call that Granny’s myth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Don't believe tall tales you hear at the bar

It's just a swig and a myth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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Even at 21, my dad still gets me.

Told my dad I was having trouble finding the right girl. He just smiled and said, "It's all just a myth man, I found your mother on my left."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatPunGuy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2016
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I believed I followed True North on my compass

Turns out it was just an azi-myth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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I thought I wanted a large unicorn t-bone on grill

but realised it would be huge myth-steak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogy650
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2014
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Pulled this dad joke on my GF today.

GF: "So there's this myth among us women that ----"

Me: "Of course it was just among you women, if it was among men, it would be a myth-ter."

She loved it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joaquisoriano
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
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Hades is a way nicer guy than he seems...

People really myth judge him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1nnyjeans
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
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Mom: "Stop cracking your knuckles, it causes arthritis."

Me: "No it doesn't, that's just a myth."

Dad: "Maybe it's just myth-understood."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GambitGamer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
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My dad said this at dinner tonight...

So my younger brother was talking about his Latin class and how on Fridays his teacher has culture friday, or a lesson on Greek Mythology. He was talking about the myth he learned about last week when my dad replied with this...

Brother: "Last week we learned about syphilis and how he pushes the rock up the hill again and again."

Dad: "I think you mean sisyphus, syphilis was a Greek god but he was a real dick."

I laughed, my mom groaned, and my brother sat there confused. A successful family dinner if you ask me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ju_bl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2014
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What was Achilles’ weakness?

The man, the myth, the leg end.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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