My friend put a picture of graffiti on her story, puns were made.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMattXD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Toy story pun
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Levsi09
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The Moral Of The Story (Pun Collection) slatestarcodex.com/2016/1…
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Escapement
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
🚨︎ report
(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jewyouevenlift
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Since you all liked my first post, here's a true story

I am a construction manager, and a couple years ago my boss asked me to go meet a new subcontractor who we had never worked with before. When he arrived to the site he had a younger guy with him. He walks over and says "Hi, my name is Ron Anderson, and this is my son, Ron". I couldn't stop myself. I looked this stranger dead in the eye and said "Well, you know, two Ron's don't make a right!".

Neither he nor his son were amused. But they still did the work. Honestly, though, how many times in your life are you actually going to get the chance to say that. Carpe diem.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamcalifornia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear the story of about the gymnast who got a concussion?

A woman walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryand118
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror story in braille.

Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a story in the paper today about a dog that ran 3 miles just to find a stick...

I thought it was a little far fetched.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsTrickyPig
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the sad story about the Italian chef?

He pasta way.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazybitchh4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Me: Tell me a story about trees

My dad: Leaf me alone.

Sorry, I'll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jabhiram
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
🚨︎ report
(true story) My wife asked why I was hiding some baby formula in the closet.

I told her "because it's my secret formula"!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.

Must have been Bonnie and Collide

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a good story with a very strong foundation?

Im-pen-etrable

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CountVlad12
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
🚨︎ report
True Story: My wife took my 15 year old daughter to get her 1st ...

Pfizer vaccination on Friday night at a local CVS. The place was packed and there was an older couple there thanking everyone for getting vaccinated. When my wife and daughter got home they were telling me about how packed it was. My daughter mentioned the older couple and said that when they thanked her, they asked which shot she received. β€œPfizer”, she said. The couple said, β€œWell we’re Moderna folks!” My daughter asked me why that mattered…. Well, I said… In 2 years, all of us Modera folks will have grown two heads and all of you Pfizer people will probably have four arms. My daughter then looks innocently at both my wife and I and said, β€œwhat about the people that got the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?” My wife and I completely lost it… we laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. My daughter started laughing too, but had no idea.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gorillacode
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Real story: I was talking to the Waitress at a breakfast restaurant where a Jeep wheel had just blown out the front window.

I told her she looked exhausted. When you start your day like that you’re tired all day.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyNow646
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...

Always trying to get the symphony vote.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell the story of the time I went to the seafood disco?

I pulled a mussel.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gooballs1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I wrote this story called 404.

I lost it and I couldn't find it.

(if this has been done before sorry, I just randomly thought of this)

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klamalamakrazy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
🚨︎ report
based on a true story /r/NotFunnyButHilarious/c…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
True Story 🀧
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seb_Lev
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Did anyone see the news story about the HIV virus mutating to affect citrus plants?

It can cause lemon AIDS.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: many years ago I adopted a new dog. Took him to his first visit to the vet.

The lady at the vet: β€œwhat’s his name?”

Me: β€œThe shelter told me his name is Toby”

Her: β€œWell, what does he think his name is?”

Me: β€œ........ Kunte Kinte”

She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....

Once a punnet time....

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the story of the blunt pencil?

It's got no point

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call people who get paid to read and write simple stories?

Prose

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CreatedPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Number wars, a dad joke story.

6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?

6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.

Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.

12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.

Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.

Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.

Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.

Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"

7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?

I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Devs took a while before they make Minecraft: Story Mode

They can't get over writer's block.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chocowilliam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the story about the cemetary?

People are dying to get in there.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
True Story: tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.

My 4 year old said β€œmummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”

Needless to say I was in stitches.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the story of how 8 was born?

5 had unprotected 6 with 7

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gnar_owl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Grandparents love telling their life stories over and over and over again
πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmaMess13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Story: Lasting after effect of COVID-19

True story. Happen about 2 hrs ago.

Back trying. My wife and I both work in the medical field. She runs hospital employee health dept, and I’m the dental director for a public health agency.

My wife had Covid-19 in January. We were talking about the long term, later effects of Covid on people’s health.

Wife: I wonder what the residual effects of Covid-19 are. My left ear hasn’t been right since I had Covid.

Me: Well of course not.

Wife: Why? What have you heard?

Me: Well your left ear can’t feel right. It’s your left ear.

Wife: God, why did I marry you 33 years ago?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Divinepyramid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
(True story): My dad carries a tiny 20$ note in his wallet with him wherever he goes. I asked him why...

(His actual answer): "because you always need to carry a little cash on you."

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Monster_NotWar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A little know story about Mozart is that in 1785 he killed all of his chickens.

When he asked who the best composer was, they kept replying β€œBach, Bach, Bach”

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a story about a small horse?

A pony tale!

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StarfleetRebel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
To cut a long story short.....

I became a film editor.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my Friend a story

It was about a dinosaur. I can't get into it right now, it was a long tail

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YxllowQuxxn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I've written a stage representation of a story in which all lines are puns, and the stage is covered with the pages of a dictionary...

It's a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
It's the story of a father that invented a machine.

He shows it to his son, all proud, and says : "You see, son, when you put a donkey in this end of the machine, a sausage will automatically come out." The son, very confused, asks : "But dad, is there a way to do the opposite, insert a sausage and a donkey comes out?" The father proudly answers : "Yes son, your mom."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kidralak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Everyone in the story survived!
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bullshitbender
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
True Story. I went to pick up a couple of Italian Beef sandwiches curbside last night and as the runner approached with my order, the sandwiches broke through the gravy soaked paper bag and fell to the ground. She was extremely apologetic and said she would re-bag them for us. But I was livid!

I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/casimir1978
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Guys! They finally made a story about clocks!

And it’s about time too.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a horror story in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.