Did you know the film “Speed” had no director?
If it had direction, it would be called “Velocity”.
I used to be scared of speed bumps.
I’m slowly getting over it
I don’t know how I feel about internet speeds
It has its Ups and its Downs
What kind of room do speed racers stay in?
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in 3 hours!
I know its only 6 words.. but its a start!
How do you measure the speed of joy?...
They want to reboot Speed with One Direction
Physics: Why can’t Catholics travel at light speed?
I hate it whenever I hit a speed bump...
... but I’ll get over it.
What type of person speeds up vaccine development?
Why do they always use thieves as the high speed units in RPGs?
Because they're so dodgy.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
While driving the car, an ambulance passed us at high speed, sirens blaring.
I said to my wife:
"Can't see them selling much ice cream at this speed."
What did the hulk say during speed dating
In hulk voice: "hulk tired of just smashing, hulk want meaningful relationship
What happened to the scientist when he broke the speed of light?
Down periscope and full speed ahead!
How did the speed runner beat the world record on hair stylist simulator?
I have a really dark joke about light waves changing speeds and direction!
I put my grandma's no. On speed dail, I call it insta-gram
What do you call soup traveling at the speed of light
Okay, seriously people, calm down. There's no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 120 mph, over twice the legal speed limit. Just pass me already.
Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.
What did the optometrist say when the Russian aircraft flew past at lightning speed?
He felt it might have been an optical Illyushin
Would a Speed Dating event at Hobby Lobby be called...
Craft Singles?
My daughter said the joke was cheesy and not very Gouda. :(
I taught my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
If a priest is travelling at the speed of light...
Did you know centipedes have a faster top speed than humans.
They run at 100 feet a second
Officer: "Don't you know the speed limit is 65 miles per hour?"
Me: "Yeah, but I wasn't going to be out that long."
I have a phobia of speed bumps
But I’m slowly getting over it
I have a fear of speed bumps.
I’m slowly getting over it.
I have a fear of speed bumps,
But I'm slowly getting over it.
I have a fear of speed bumps
But I’m slowly getting over it
I have a fear of speed bumps....
but I’m slowly getting over it.
I have a speed bump phobia
But I am slowly getting over it.
I have a fear of speed bumps...
but I'm slowly getting over it.
I'm scared of speed bumps
But I'm slowly getting over it !
I have an intense fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
What happened to the sunbeam that exceeded the speed of light?
I have a fear of speed bumps.
I’m slowly getting over it.
I have a fear of speed bumps.
It's ok though, I'm slowly getting over it.
I have a fear of speed bumps...
But I’m slowly getting over it.
I have a fear for speed bumps...
I'm slowly getting over it.
I am teaching my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
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