Trailer Swift...
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︎ Apr 21 2021
My wife asked me to stop quoting Taylor Swift lyrics all the time
I never saw it coming, wouldnβt have suspected it
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Taylor Swift is not what she seems
I sent her my trousers to be taken up by 4 inches over 3 months ago
and I still haven't had them back!
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︎ Sep 07 2020
So I was singing All Star in the car the other day, and my friend asked βHow do you know all the wordsβ so I swiftly replied:
βSomebody once told meβ
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︎ Feb 04 2019
Teller Swift
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︎ May 09 2020
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift
Because she had bad blood
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︎ Jun 29 2020
Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
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︎ Apr 06 2021
A Dell
π︎ 9k
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︎ Mar 01 2020
Taylor Swift could further increase her revenue by opening an express alterations shop
and calling it Tailor Swift
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 25 2019
Who is Taylor Swift?
Is she fast at stitching clothes or something?
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︎ May 29 2019
Shake It Off by Taylor Swift (Harry Potter cover)
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︎ May 27 2019
What is Thanos' least favorite Taylor Swift song?
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Trailer Swift
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︎ Nov 22 2017
Trailer Swift
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︎ Dec 27 2018
Told this to my wife today
Me: What does Ronald McDonald do when he's angry?
Her: (sigh) What??
Me: He McGrrrrs
Her: (groan) please stop......
Me: Does that make you Grimace? (Chuckles)
Her: swift elbow to my ribs You tell me! * Sticks tongue out*
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Why doesnβt Taylor Swift have to worry about vampires?
Because sheβs got BAD BLOOD....πΌ
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 28 2019
How do you find a lost train?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What kind of dressmaker does Taylor Swift use when in a hurry?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 30 2019
Phil Swift had a Christmas Party
He calls it Flex Seal Navidad
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 29 2018
I wonder if mosquitoes like Taylor Swift
Because she has bad blood
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︎ Aug 12 2018
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︎ Apr 04 2014
In the abandoned building down the street from "Tailor Swift" I'm going to open a sketchy-looking alteration service...
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︎ Jun 30 2016
Iβm doing a run of PokΓ©mon: SoulSilver where I name everybody after musical artist puns. Hereβs what Iβve come up with so far- pretty catchy, huh?
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︎ Nov 12 2019
I've been going to rehab for my addiction to Taylor Swift lyrics.
I think i'm finally clean.
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︎ Apr 22 2018
My wife asked me to stop singing Wonder wall to her
π︎ 10k
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︎ Sep 26 2017
Taylor Swift got attacked by a boa constrictor...
Fortunately, she was able to shake it off.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 10 2017
The wife's mother was taken ill...
So I swiftly rushed off to find a pen and paper to write for an ambulance.
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︎ Sep 24 2020
Did you guys hear? Tom Hiddleston is dating Taylor Swift
Don't tell anyone else though, they're trying to keep it Loki
π︎ 13
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︎ Jun 17 2016
What exercises does Taylor Swift do to stay fit?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 01 2017
What is Taylor Swift's favorite vegetable?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 28 2016
Dad asked me about the new Taylor Swift album...
Dad: "Have you heard the new Taylor Swift album?"
Me: "1989? Yeah."
Dad: "Oh no, it was much more recent than that."
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︎ Nov 07 2015
My mom dadjoked me over Taylor Swift leaving Spotify
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 05 2014
My Taylor Swift dad joke
I'm a dad. I came up with this one yesterday.
"I thought Taylor Swift was a same-day hemming service"
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︎ Nov 01 2014
What did Taylor Swift say when she entered a ruined building?
I knew you were rubble when I walked in.
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︎ Feb 19 2015
I told my Dad that I didn't like the new Taylor Swift song.
He said, "You just gotta shake it off!"
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 19 2015
An infomercial hosted by a guy named Phil Swift came on, and my buddy says...
"Watch out for Phil Swift, he'll pull a fast one on you."
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︎ Apr 13 2014
What is better than Taylor Swift?
π︎ 4
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︎ May 01 2014
What does the creator of flex tape run in?
Flex shoes; they make him go Phil Swift!
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 16 2020
My kids were taking forever to finish their breakfast, so I had to quote Kanye West to them.
I said, βOmelette you finish.β
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︎ Apr 23 2018
Pun pet names.
Pets I want to have....
An otter name Harry Otter.
A snake named Severus Snake.
A tortoise named Voldetort.
A chicken named Kylo Hen.
A dog named Barkamedes.
A deer named David Hasselhoof.
A turkey named Green Gobbleen.
A cat named Captain Ameowrica.
A stork named Tony Stork.
A pig named Peter Porker.
A crocodile named Croctor Strange.
A duck named Ducktor Doom.
A squid named Abraham Inkin.
A goose named Ryan Gooseling.
A heron named Charlize Heron.
A goat named Selena Goatmez
An alpaca named Alpacachino.
A carp name Leonardo DiβCarprio.
A tuna named Tuna Turner.
A horse named Neighlor Swift.
A toad named Demi Lavatoad.
A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds.
A swan named Swan Jovi.
A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon.
A ferret named Ferret Faucet.
A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime.
A cow named Moolissa McCarthy.
A crow named Seth Crowgan.
A fox named Charlie Fox.
A cat named Katy Purry.
A wolf named Howly Berry.
A hamster named Scarlet Johamster.
A parrot named Squakin Phoenix.
A duck named DuckleBerry Finn.
A canary named Jim Canary.
A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©.
A sheep named Meryl Sheep.
An elk named Elkton John.
A bear named Teddy Mercury.
A ram named Gordon RAMsey.
A shark named Fin Diesel.
A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson.
An Iguana named Eddie Lizard.
A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter.
A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.
a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 01 2019
Why do vampires hate Taylor Swift
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 09 2019
Why do vampires hate Taylor Swift
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 09 2019
Why didn't the vampire bite Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 16 2018
Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits to your house in 48 hours.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Amazon is starting a new service where they deliver custom made shirts to your door within 48 hours.
They are calling it Tailor Swift.
π︎ 17
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︎ Jun 27 2020
Amazon has started a new service where you will get custom made shirts delivered within 48 hours.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
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