Just a quick Thank you!
I've been sharing the Dad Jokes from here that pop up in my suggestion line. My Dad and I work together, so we're both off for the School break. Half the time he rolls his eyes and the other half he chuckles. So, thank you, Dad Jokers, for making my Dad chuckle in whatever this strange year has been!
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
LPT: A quick and easy way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
A bloke runs in to a bar and says. Quick how tall are penguins? The barman says about three feet. The man groans and says :--
I have just run over a NUN
Just a quick apology to those Take That fans I offended earlier.
Whatever I said, whatever I did
I didn't mean it.
Quick Update: The dime actually won the presidency!
Just a quick shout out to my favorite Jewish bread.
Batman gets word that somebody is in trouble and needs to be rescued quick...
Batman: Robin! Quick! Go get the Batmobile!
Robin: Sure thing, Batman!
A few minutes later...
Robin: The Batmobile won't start. In fact, it won't even turn over!
Batman: Check the battery.
Robin: What's a tery?
Just had a quick conversation with my dad and thought it belonged here
Me: The washer is free
Dad: No it wasn’t, it cost a lot
Why are the soviets so quick at doing their work?
Quick Guys! Call me a doctor!
I ran into the vets this morning and said to the blonde receptionist, "Quick, I think my daughters hamster is in serious trouble".
"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".
Quick as a flash my dad
Me: “Hey mom what’s puree ?
(Before she even takes a breath my dad pipes up)
Dad: “That’s a Canadian”
It just went to 100 real quick
My dad always told me, "Don't be quick to find faults...
Good man, terrible geologist...
Eye did not see that coming to light so quick
A quick knock knock joke
Me: Knock knock
Reddit: Who's there?
Me: Wu
Reddit: Wu, who?
Me: Woohoo, it's my blue triangle day!
My friend is running for treasurer and needs to make an eight second video for the video announcing the candidates, any good quick money puns for that?
DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.
ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance?
DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [...dies]
I meant to just give my keyboard a quick dusting... And then I lost control.
Just had to do a quick poop.
I guess you could say I had the runs.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Ron: Harry, come quick! Dumbledore’s been in some sort of accident!
Harry: Oh my god! Was it serious?
Ron: No. it was Snape.
What goes "quick, quick"?
Quick health warning: You can’t touch this.
The guy who paints the center line down the highway came into my deli for a quick bite...
I'd make a joke about quick sand but..
It would take a while to sink in.
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me
Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician
I recently went to Nice, France, I'll do a quick report
I liked the city. It was Nice.
I didn't have a lot of luck with girls there however, I heard it's full of Nice girls and Nice guys.
TL;DR: Nice trip.
A quick one before I log out
Quick Question ...
Can I legally wear my 2020 glasses while driving cuz technically ...
Why are dads so witty and quick in arguments?
Because they have great response ability.
Quick question
Is the word 'Lung membrane' singular or pleural?
Quick aside. If admiral ackbar contracted a minnow-scule amount of salmon-ella poisson-ing while tuna-ing his guitar on his carp-et, would he instead need to use his bass tonight?
Pops was quick on his feet
So my mom asked my dad about a family friend who is having a baby, she asked what his name was gunna be and after some mild mom research she figures out his name is Finley. Without hesitation my dad says “well, at least he’s going to be a hell of a swimmer” and I’ll be damned if I didn’t look at him and giggle a tad.
My construction foreman asked me if I knew who made accurate crosscuts in a workpiece by pulling a mounted circular blade down onto a board in a quick motion...
I told him I miter saw who it was...
Quick, silver medal for this pun!
Quick moment to appreciate the tweet title.
"Mr. Wayne, I really gotta pee." ... "Quick Robin, to the Batroom."
My Dad always told me "Don't be quick to find faults."
He was a good man, but a terrible geologist
My dad told me “Don’t be quick to find faults”
Great man, terrible geologist
My dad always told me, "Don't be quick to find faults"...
Good man, terrible geologist...
My dad always told me "don't be quick to find faults."
Good Dad, terrible geologist.
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